HYPEBEAST Looks at the Most Cliché Shots on Instagram
Instagram is like a birdhouse. No, I don’t mean that in the sense that its inhabitants like taking
Instagram is like a birdhouse. No, I don’t mean that in the sense that its inhabitants like taking craps on top of each other. More like how you’re in the parrot room of an aviary, where you can give the parrots bird feed when they perfectly recite your rendition of Chief Keef’s “I Don’t Like,” but that doesn’t make them any more capable of making their own sentences, does it? Except instead of bird feed, the parrots of Instagram are fed with Likes when they perfectly recreate the compositions of popular Instagrammers, who in many cases are also the originators of said shots. So in a quest to prove there’s artistically profound photography to be found on the platform, I ventured into the depths of #hbouthere and #createexplore, and… found little to be inspiring. It seems there’s a lot of people on the bird feed. Not wanting to come up empty-handed though, I instead went about compiling and categorizing, for your reading pleasure, the most common offenses within what I like to call the HYPEBEAST x VSCO Filter Appreciation Society. Read on, my feathered friends.
Title images by: @jayscale, @ori.ginals, @valdizbro, @8th.sense, @charlieqdixon, @emile_hussell, @yanu.tomang, @connorgunst, @richieyy, @billsatya, @alistair_wheeler
The Straight and Narrow
Hallmarks:
- Perfectly centred vertically
- Often shot in corridors, on or under bridges, or long pathways with an infinity point
- Strong, arrow-straight lines lead eye towards center where object of interest may be placed
- Bonus points for: shooting in the middle of train tracks with an approaching train about to run you over
Whether it be by the misfortune of being afflicted with OCD, or a more profound interest for finding a higher order in this chaotic modern world, the rule of symmetry and hard lines is almost religiously adhered to in our universe. While an expansive subset that, by some scientific estimates, encompasses around 93% of all Instagram posts tagged with #hypebeast, we can further break down the “symmetry” category into finer examples, such as symmetrical railway tracks, symmetrical overhead bridge, symmetrical pedestrian overpass… you get the idea. With a Wes Anderson-esque fanaticism for centered compositions without the whimsy, symmetry is as hard-baked into the HYPEBEAST psyche as a tormented love-hate relationship with Kanye himself.
Photos by: @alexmaeland, @trashhand, @jtrend_, @13thwitness, @0ptiics, @saunakspace, @raymondchvn, @mr_jobeezy
The Look-Up Game
Hallmarks:
- Camera pointed exactly 90 degrees skywards
- Preferably, the sky is cloudy or foggy, and the buildings fairly geometric and characterless with reflective glass facades
- Two or more buildings should lead the eye towards the center of the frame
- Bonus points for: capturing a plane mid-flight in the very center
As our corner of Instagram becomes increasingly saturated with symmetrical everything, how does one differentiate themselves from the rest of the sheep flock? Angle your gaze 90 degrees skywards, of course. Best suited for foggy days where the skyscrapers of your nondescript city can fade into white, beware of the hazards associated with this pose, including debilitating neck cramps, being blinded by the errant wad of bird poo, and having a streetwear-inclined hoodlum swipe your beloved Supreme cap off your unsuspecting head as you struggle to center the frame on your iPhone.
Photos by: @nikk_la, @1st__son, @takubeats, @ryanmillier, @stteezzy, @hhyyeung, @jaynumberfive, @perrystacks
The Nightscape
Hallmarks:
- Camera centrally aligned with horizon line
- Composition should have busy freeway in foreground leading to an urban skyline in the background
- Use a high f-stop on your camera to achieve the starburst effect from streetlamps
- Up the saturation to absurd amounts in post-processing
- Bonus points for: shooting the scene from behind a chainlink fence, x10000 if tears are streaming down your face
The night offers many comfortable settings for the socially awkward hypebeast to lurk — the mystery and grittiness of the urban jungle at night serves as the perfect space for them to immerse themselves in deep brooding. As these tortured souls find themselves wandering windblown on a pedestrian bridge above a roaring interstate, they pause in the middle and depress the camera’s shutter. In the second or so it takes the sensor to record the light trails of the cars below, a tear trickles down from the photographer’s eye. All that remains of this solitary experience is an over-saturated long exposure photo like the above selection, accompanied by a caption as cryptic as it is #deep.
Photos by: @spleenstyle, @flames.dean, @castfotos, @cainite_, @ilitchpeters, @iamlondono, @stillmaticny, @3rd.optic
The Sneaker Hang
Hallmarks:
- Choose a somewhat dangerous spot of considerable altitude with a compelling vista
- Wearing your newest/favorite sneakers, dangle your feet in front of you and angle them to best capture the view as well
- Stagger your feet horizontally to create the impression of levity
- Popular locations include skyscraper roofs and in winding stairwells
- Bonus points for: not falling off and dying
Although sneakers are very much front and center in HYPEBEAST culture, the hypebeast’s natural impulse to, well, hype something up compels them to take this to all new heights. We find them perched recklessly on roofs and stairwell railings the world over, in a vain attempt to add some excitement to what would otherwise be an average composition. We patiently await the day that someone executing the Look-Up Game (see above) unwittingly snaps a photo of a sneakerhead mid-plummet, having unfortunately slipped off their perch while photographing their new Yeezy 750 Boosts.
Photos by: @jayscale, @ori.ginals, @valdizbro, @8th.sense, @charlieqdixon, @emile_hussell, @yanu.tomang, @connorgunst
The Levitation
Hallmarks:
- Camera at close to ground level with feet in center, and the frame extending no further than knee height
- One foot in front of the other for a good view of the medial and lateral sides of the shoes
- Optimum jump height is approximately 6-8 inches
- Bonus points for: not using Wingardium Leviosa
To those outside of sneaker culture, sneakerheads must seem positively alien, with their intense fascination with what the general populace consider glorified pieces of rubber and fabric intended to protect the furthest appendages of your body — that is, your feet. As such, the Instagram cliché of people levitating in their sneakers needs little explanation, as it clearly depicts various members of this alien species plucked from everyday goings-on, only to return to their people on some distant planet where they never have to cry over another botched sneaker swap again.
