What's Inside the Oscars 2017 Swag Bag

The 2017 Oscars swag bag is unabashedly called “everyone wins.” For the past 16 years, Academy Awards nominees and notable guests have received an unofficial, but nonetheless extravagant, gift bag from Distinctive Assets that has included some of the most exorbitant and outrageous freebies — so much so that the Oscars actually sued the marketing company for tarnishing the Academy’s goodwill with the “less-than-wholesome nature of some of the products.” Last year’s offering included sex toys, plastic surgery, $275 USD toilet paper, and a 10-day trip to Israel complete with first class tickets and a private security escort, among many others. While this year’s bag lowered the price tag slightly — with estimates coming in at around $100,000 USD compared to last year’s $232,000 USD value — it’s still worth more than what most Americans make in a year and still chock full of controversial goodies. Highlights range from the extravagant (a private three-night mansion stay at Northern California’s Lost Coast Ranch valued at a whopping $40,000 USD) to the brazen (a state-of-the-art Haze Dual Vaporizer), to the peculiar and kind of unnecessary (a case of Opal apples that apparently don’t turn brown after being cut). Take a look at the full list of the Oscars 2017 unofficial swag bag below and share your thoughts in the comments.

1. Oomi Smart Home ($599 USD)
2. Haze Dual V3 Vaporizer ($250 USD)
3. Luminosity Skin Serum from Healing Saint ($193 USD)
4. A Year’s Worth of Car Rentals From Silvercar ($20,000 USD)
5. Naturally non-browning and non-GMO Project verified Opal Apples ($75 USD)
6. A luxury six-day Hawaiian vacation at Koloa Landing Resort at Poipu ($4,000 USD)
7. Personal training sessions with celebrity trainer Alexis Seletzky ($900 USD)
8. BANGARANG Positive Cube: A Wooden Box Filled With Cards With Positive Quotes and Actions ($40 USD)
9. Belldini women’s apparel (over $300 USD)
10. Casper advanced dual-layer pillows ($75 USD)
11. ChapStick Total Hydration Moisture + Tint ($5 USD)
12. Chocolatines’ Drunken Fig Cake Bites ($35 USD)
13. Chubby Chipmunk Hand-Dipped Chocolates ($45 USD)
14. Crayola My Way customized box of crayons ($13 USD)
15. Curlee Girlee empowering children’s book ($11 USD)
16. Dandi Patch underarm sweat patches ($21 USD)
17. Elvie limited edition pelvic floor exercise tracker (and app) ($199 USD)
18. Happiest Tee luxury T-shirts ($89-$118 USD)
19. Hydroxycut Platinum Weightloss Pills ($30 USD)
20. Jules K unique luxury handbags ($370-$395 USD)
21. Lifetime supply of Lizora Pu-erh Tea Nourishing skincare ($31,200 USD)
22. Personal in-house sommelier services from The Loving Somm (unlisted value)
23. Medice Foot Care Kits ($25 USD)
24. MOUS fitness bottle ($28 USD)
25. MuscleTech Nitro-Tech Crunch Bars ($30 USD)
26. Namira Monaco Pole Star Constellation Pendant & Brooch Fine Jewelry
27. Freshly harvested pecans from the National Pecan Shellers Association ($15 USD)
28. A 10-year supply of Oxygenetix Breathable Foundation and Moisturizer (unlisted value)
29. Park and Buzz baguette stud earrings ($35 USD)
30. Reian Williams Fine Art (unlisted value)
31. Rest-Rite Sleep Positioner ($17 USD)
32. Rouge Maple pure organic maple syrup package ($280 USD)
33. Slimware portion-control plates ($30 USD)
34. SweetCheeks cellulite massage mats ($99 USD)
35. Watch Ya’ Mouth party game ($20 USD)
36. Woosh Beauty innovative makeup application gift sets ($119 USD)
37. YOGAJEWELZ OM Diamond Bracelets ($595)
38. Golden Door Spa Retreat ($8,850 USD)
39. Grand Hotel Excelsior Vittoria in Sorrento ($5,000 USD)
40. Grand Hotel Tremezzo on Lake Como ($5,000 USD)
41. A fully-private three-day mansion stay at the Lost Coast Ranch in Northern California ($40,000 USD)
42. Personalized Hands-Only CPR Training and a CPR Anytime Kit from the American Heart Association ($40 USD)