Mike Dean's Pet Bird Will Steal Your Weed

Aspiring rappers trying to get some work in with legendary producer Mike Dean, be wary. In a new interview with Noisey, Houston great Z-Ro unveiled some pretty incredible details about what could happen to you if you’re chilling with Mike Dean at his house and trying to record. Via Noisey:

How do you even record all of this? How?
All my stuff is at my house now. I went to Mike Dean’s house, and he turned me against going to studios. ‘Cause it was some weird shit going on in there.

Mike Dean? No way.
It was crazy. I pulled up, started writing down notes. Shit was crazy. Smoking weed in this bitch. They got a bird in the house. They trained the bird to swoop down to snatch the motherfucking swisher out your hand and take it to his chick.

Wait a minute.
One minute, you’re just smoking. The bird don’t even screech or nothing. You look down and the blunt—

Is gone.
The blunt is gone! You can’t even say nothing. You still dumbfounded by the bird. And then you see the sheep dog. These motherfuckers are so high, they done gave the dog a haircut.

You’re joking.
The dog’s walking around looking at you like, “I look real weak right now, don’t I?” They done took the clippers and cut the dog’s underhair off so it look like he’s wearing a mink. Everybody’s laughing at the dog, and the dog’s walking out with his head down. After that, I said, I can’t come over here no more man. [Laughs] So I got all my shit at the house now. If I know the song’s going to be big, I take it to the Cold Chamber or somebody else. But I can just go home now, record. That’s why there’s so many songs.

“One minute, you’re smoking.” Next, Mike Dean’s unbelievably-well-trained bird has swooped up your blunt. While this bit of information from Noisey’s piece on Z-Ro might make for the best headline, Brandon Caldwell’s entire exchange with Z-Ro is worth your time.