I know there isn't really much to talk about with this but I really wanted to share this with you guys because I thought it was hilarious.
So one day I get a random text from some chick saying literally: "Baby I'm pregnant"
My heart IMMEDIATELY
begins to race, like most men would, but it was from a random number I don't have saved so I asked who it was. Once she gave me a name and I verified I didn't know this bitch, I decided to have some fun =) Here is the convo:
(I named her Slippery Sally)
Slippery Sally: Baby, I'm pregnant! 8:16 PM
Me: Who is this? 8:17 PM
Slippery Sally: Brandi!!!!!!! 8:18 PM
Me: Oh, sorry my sweet little bubble gum drop. I thought it was mom. That would suck if she turned out pregnant. 8:20 PM
Slippery Sally: Are you gonna help take care of the baby!? ♥♥♥♥♥, this is YOUR babyy! 8:23 PM
Me: Wait wait, hold up. I'm going to need you to send me a full body picture in the nude so I can see if you're lying or not. 8:24 PM
Slippery Sally: ...MARTIN DON'T FUCK WITH ME!!! 8:25 PM
Me: What? I'm being serious... Can't you just send me the picture please? I need this baby! I really do. 8:26 PM
Slippery Sally: So you can jerk off to a pregnant girl?! FUCK YOU MARTIN! 8:29 PM
Me: Baby do you love me? Because I love you... I love you with every inch of breath that leaves my body. Its all for you! Of course I am going to take care of the baby. I couldn't see myself raising a child with anyone else. You are beautiful, charming, smart and you smile makes me melt... it really does =) Hopefully one day when we settle our differences maybe we can get married and by a beautiful home. I want all that for you and our 8:35 PM
Me: Our child baby. I swear it! 8:35 PM
Slippery Sally: Martin, we just met 2 days ago. 8:37 PM
Me: I'm not bringing this child into this world if we aren't going to be together. That wouldn't be fair. Baby... will you be mine? 8:40 PM
Slippery Sally: ♥♥♥♥♥ we met two days ago! You probably don't remember my full name! This probably isn't Martin Sherman is it? 8:44 PM
Me: What the hell? Of course it is! Who else would it be!?! Woman if you keep challenging me we are going to have some serious ducking problems. I told you I was willing to take care of the baby but all I ask is that you personally give me a chance first. U guess you were hoping I would try and bail on you so you could get Child Support checks but that's not happening. I'm a responsible man, and above that a REAL man. If you can't respect 8:47 PM
Me: Respect that then why the duck are you ever talking to me right now? Seriously? 8:48 PM
...she then stopped replying. I guess she figured out I wasn't who she thought I was contacting. But I texted her yesterday to fuck with her some more and she responded. Its in my Text a girl and ask if her if "you can tap that" post if you guys wanted to check that out here: My text a girl and ask if her if "you can tap that" post
Anyway I thought it was funny, tell me what you think.