Do you sit back and think about life?

I despise the ignorant modern capitalist society which is based on a system of winners and losers.
we've got money, borders and religions to divide us humans while we have more things in common than differences

history will always repeat itself
we act on impulse/emotions and find reasons to justify our actions afterwards
our brains are simply not evolved for today's modern society we inhabit
the news is depressing, it reminds me of the fact that we've failed as a species and continue to do so
I'm starting to feel like the guy from god bless america

I often think about getting away from it all, pack my small backpack and travel the world with little
settle down in a beautiful surrounding that came straight from a catalog and live a self-sufficient life

I envy the minimalistic and simplistic lives but I'm kind of a hoarder and my rooms always a mess I think about my possessions and how I really don't need them -- ie I've been tryna sell off a lot of my shoes and clothes and giving away old books and what not. I really just need to focus on who I am as a person and what I want in life -- not just the growth of my belongings

right. i mean the media tries to brainwash us into thinking we need these material things when in actuality we don't. i mean we have more than our share in american, this world has more than enough resources, people should not be homless or go hungry but i guess greed is in the nature of man. sometimes i just want to get away. but its as if you cant. I mean think of it, how hard would it be to just get up and leave and go live somewhere else...it would be extermly hard. Not just the physiological aspect but the finical aspect as well. Were are almost "trapped" into staying in one place if you don't have the "green" to make it happen, its sad really.  

I sometime, set my mind straight, get my mind right, get in the right state of mind, and sit and think. I reflect on the world that we live in, the people, their actions, the things these actions accomplish, destroy, and much more. 

I sit here and think about education, how a paper will decide if you're truly fit for an occupation, to survive, to thrive. It's disgusting, I think of the racism, the blindness, the ignorance of people who come into my life, what they do, how they effect me and the environment that I call home. 

I also think of the past, with the present and future also in mind, but the past brings joy, and shit. This state is beautiful, the world seemed brighter, the tree's were always green. I picture myself sometimes standing, staring at 12 year old me, and 12 year old me looks at me in disgust, but some what proud, and I see the hate, and the joy, and the feelings in my 12 year old mind, and it makes me happy and sad, and hateful, but it's all very calming. 


Then I fall asleep, I come down from this enlightened stage that I was once in, and I wake up and realize. I'm sober. This sobering feeling sobers me up even more to a point that I'm so visual, so able to see things as they are. It sickens me.