[Desperotica] - 2014 Official Discussion Thread *MYSTERY BOX WITH FREE SHIPPING*

mystery box is piff :smokeyface:

2 Weeks ago in Brands

Women cheat more

free post 10charrrr

2 Weeks ago in Off Topic

[Official] Picture/Video/Gif thread Part II

[Image]

2 Weeks ago in Off Topic

Food places in near LACMA?

umami burger at the grove

2 Weeks ago in Off Topic

[Official] Picture/Video/Gif thread Part II

[Image]

2 Weeks ago in Off Topic

What state do you actually belong in?

[Quote][Image]

2 Weeks ago in Off Topic

Lemme try to guess your first name Vol. Hints

[Quote]Eric Fernando Lopez

2 Weeks ago in Off Topic

[Official] Picture/Video/Gif thread Part II

[Quote]first dude believable as shit  I almost [Image] @ the old nikka kicking the jug away

2 Weeks ago in Off Topic

Crazy Shit That Happened To Me Last Night vol. Gay People Are Getting Bold

holy shit you won't BELIEVE what happened to me... okay so yesterday there was an ice storm and this shit was causing all types of problems in the small college town I live in. Powerlines were down, trees were falling all over the streets and shit, electricity was out, and luckily for me my electricity went out first before the rest of the town. After watching a movie 3/4ths through until my laptop died and playing flappy bird until my cellphone died, I went to sleep, praying that my power would be back on when I woke up. When I woke up, it was dark. No power still, it was dark as fuck outside, I had no idea what time it was. Shit had a nigga feeling like I was trapped in a post-apocalyptic flick or something. So being the adventurer I am, I get dressed (using a lighter as my only source of light on some old crackhead type shit) and decided to go outside on a walk to find food and electricity. I go out and it's freezing. There's no power anywhere in the city so I just walk and follow where I see the traffic lights working. I really felt like I was in an episode of Man vs. Wild. Hadn't eaten all day, no phone to contact my friends, I needed to survive the wilderness of a south Georgia winter storm, the worst winter storm of them all where 2 days of school get cancelled because it's 30 degrees outside. I get to McDonald's and this dude outside tells me it was closed. I'm like damn...gotta keep exploring. I asked the dude if there's power anywhere in the city and he says yeah there's some over by walmart and he was headed over in that area and he offered to give me a ride out there because people should help each other during times of crisis. I'm thinking hell yeah this is straight, good look my dude. We start talking in the car and I notice this dude has an interesting accent. I asked him if he was Russian and I was spot on. We start chopping it up about Russian culture towards black people, Sochi Olympics, Putin & Russian politics, dude says he is a professor and speaks 7 languages, it was an interesting convo. I had mentioned I hadn't eaten all day earlier, and the dude offered to buy me a dinner from this fire mexican restaurant in town after I showed competence in Russian culture and history, I'm like thanks so much my dude, I have 5 dollars to my name..let me give you it as a sign of my appreciation, but he was like nah man it's cool you seem like an interesting person and I enjoy your knowledge about Russia.  So we get to the restaurant and this is where shit starts getting weird. Dude asks me if I want a beer, I say sure, and he proceeds to order this fucking giant mug of Dos Equis for me, and he gets one too. It was literally like a 40 of Dos Equis and I was thinking in my mind like god damn the myths about Russians are true...these niggas really drink like fishes. We keep talking about global politics, race relations in America, all that type of bullshit, and after like an hour or so he goes to the bathroom.  When he comes back this dude asks me if I've ever had an enema and I'm just like "NIGGGGGA WHAT -______________________-" but I was trying to be nice because this dude just got me faded, bought me dinner, and drove me to the other side of the tiny ass town I'm in, so I chalked it up to just a weird cultural difference and let it slide. Mistake, I shoulda seen the signs yall. So I'm done eating, I ask dude if he has a car iphone charger for my phone because I need to call my mom, and he says he doesn't but he has power working at his crib so I'm thinking shit nigga, lemme charge my phone, then get the fuck on my way, I got things to do, women to hit up, moves to be made, this has been fun but I gotta go. It's 11:00 now and I'm leaving the restaurant.   So I get to homies crib to charge my shit up, and he offers me ANOTHER beer. I don't want to be a rude guest so I accept it. He spends like an hour or so showing me around his crib, all of the Russian artwork and whatnot in it....it was actually really cool. I asked him where the restroom was at because I can't be killing all of these brews and not have to pee, so he told me. When I turned around to go walk to the bathroom homie straight up slapped me on the butt. The only way I can describe the look on my face I gave him was this [Image] I chalked it up to cultural differences tho because all of the European men that I've met in my life have been really touchy feely to me and I reluctantly give this dude a pass. If he was an American man I would have smacked the shit out of him. So I get back and this dude is trying to use all of this weird eastern medicine type shit on me, like scalp a massager, prickly feet massaging things. I tell him "I'm straight dude" as in "I'm okay with that", and he asks me "why do you bring up straight and gay?" and I laugh and explain how straight is slang for ok. So dude offers me ANOTHER beer, and I know I shouldn't drink it...but it was a blue moon so I had to. Things return somewhat normal and we talk about politics and philosophy. It's like 12:30 AM now so I tell dude, look, thanks for everything but I need to go. I'm not tryna have a fuckin slumber party with this nigga, I'm a grown ass man. He says he's too drunk to drive and has a DUI so he can't really drive until he sobers up after another hour or two so I'm like -_____- I'm trapped here.  I drink the Blue Moon and dude starts acting really weird, even weirder than the shit he was doing before. He starts talking about saunas and bath houses and shit, and says how in Europe it's common for men to drop their trousers for each other and I'm like WHAT THE FUUUUUUUCK! I look at buddy straight faced as fuck and am like "yo, I'm not into that, in America it's not socially acceptable to do that and I'm not cool with you saying it or talking about it." He back tracks for a lil bit because he knows I'm no bitch and will tell him how it is. He starts talking about the gym because I mentioned I played basketball a lot, he starts talking about the massages at the gym on our campus and how theyre so good and if I've ever got a massage before. He pours me a glass of wine and I'm like the fuck?! What the fuck do I look like sipping wine with another man at night. I see what this is now....dude is trying to get me drunk so he can take advantage of me and do some homosexual shit to me. Unfortunately for him it backfired because I go to a party school, getting really drunk to me is like drinking half of a handle of vodka, 7-8 beers just gets me faded...but he was obviously a lot drunker than I was. I say I'm done drinking, I go and get my phone and say it's late, I gotta go, are you straight to drive now? Because if not I can drive or I can call my friends to come pick me up. It's like 2 in the morning now. He says in another 30 minutes he'll be good and I'm like God help me, what the fuck did I do to deserve this?  So this is where homie made his last hurrah to get at me. He brings up massages again and asked me if I've ever had one. I hit him with a Chief Keef "Nah". He gets up and offers to give me a massage and starts walking closer to me. I mush him in the face and say "nah. no. I'm good homie. I'm straight. No. I'm good." He goes back to the other sofa he was on and says "that broke the flow of conversation" and I was like "yeah" thinking in my mind like "I might really have to kill a man tonight for my protection, never thought it'd come down to this." Dude starts telling me that I'm handsome and that my fingers and movements are very aristocratic.....I'm like okay, I def gotta go now dude, can you drive me? Because if not I'm calling my friends right now. Lowkey I texted my roommate and said if I'm not home in 30 minutes call the police. Even when I'm faded I can still think straight. Dude was like "before you go can you give me your number so maybe we can meet again and you can cook for me" (because I mentioned that I like cooking), at this point I'm willing to do anything to go home so I'm like yeah dude this is my number let's go.  I finally get home and buddy literally calls me when he gets home and leaves me a voice message telling me goodnight. I'm like -_________________________________________________________________________________-.  Yo I finally understand what women talk about when they say creepers. This experience makes me want to apologize to any chick I've made an unwanted advance on because that shit is so fucked up. I can't believe this dude really tried me like that. Like it's cool if you want to be gay or whatever, but don't force that onto people who literally aren't straight with it. People should be open with their sexuality and put it out there if they're interested, but dude asked me if I was gay at one point when he asked if I had a girlfriend and I told him no....the reason I don't have a gf is because I love women too much just to have one, I want to be with them all, and I told him this. I made it incredibly clear as possible that I wasn't into any of that gay shit and he still tried me. I can't believe this shit happened. I'm lucky I'm a man and am able to physically protect myself from other people, I can only imagine how scary the situation would be if I was a woman. Stay safe out there people. in b4 didn't read.

2 Weeks ago in Off Topic

Camron did it again. Bout to have the world rocking capes

hows the fitting on them capes breh?[Image]

2 Weeks ago in Off Topic

Im outchea wit my nigga Barack Obama

[Image]

2 Weeks ago in Off Topic

Ruthless 2014 Public Service Announcement: No more anonymous downvotes

[Quote][Image]

2 Weeks ago in Off Topic

So what's poppin on HB now?

[Image]

2 Weeks ago in Off Topic

[effulgence] - 2014 Discussion Thread

[Quote]

2 Weeks ago in Brands

[Official] Picture/Video/Gif thread Part II

[Image]

2 Weeks ago in Off Topic
HYPECHAT 0