I feel like a fucking idiot. I feel like a fool. I have no friends lol. I feel like the biggest fucking loner ever. Most of the time no one hits me up, actually no one ever hits me up lol, I always have to do the hitting up first, and I highly doubt that anyone would give a fuck if I died or not lol. I never had as much friends I did in high school, I usually only hanged out with 3/4 people at my school, and even sometimes I'd walk around the school lonely and make it seem as if I'm trying to find someone or I'm meeting with someone.
I do have a job and most people make friends with people at the job they work at, well not me. I mean we're friends but not hang out friends. I'm the youngest person that's in the staff, while other people are like 21, 22. I can't do what they can do because I'm not legal age yet, and it fucking sucks.
Relationship wise? I don't know. I don't think I can really find a girl. I could imagine my future girlfriend being what she's gonna be but I know she's never gonna be what I imagined. There's girls that I would hit, but my self-esteem and self-confidence is fucking low, I just always say that they're always outta my league. It's just unfair that most girls just go for guys because of looks or fucking money or because they have a good body image (muscles, smile, etc), compared to me all my wrinkles show and I'm fucking embarassed by it.
The way I dress or the way I look doesn't may seem that I'm that lonely, but right now I'm feeling lonely as fuck. I wanna make new friends, but they already heard about me or something from another friend/group of people.
The way I dress when I go out contributes to my self-esteem/self-confidence by a bit, but not enough to think that I'm the shit and stuff. I just want a best friend who can fucking understand me, that can always be there texting, chilling, phoning wise.
I wanna make friends outside the city I live in. I just feel like crying, I'm so fucking lonely, I wish I had friends that would hit me up or at least be a part of someone's friendship zone instead of being outside of it.
Sigh, I might as well stay as a fucking loner.
Life's fucking unfair; and will never be perfect nor good for me.