I'm not attracted to fat women and that bothers my girlfriend. She asked if she gained 50 pounds would I still be attracted to her. I said her personality and then moved on to other things but she got mad that I didn't just say yes. It's just a very sensitive issue. I love her but I never know how th answer this. Is love =/= attraction or are they two separate things. She got mad but is there really any reason. She was she wanted reassurance for the future.
Your girl is naive. Sounds like she just wants to get fat or she's afraid of getting fat when she gets older. Love doesn't equal attraction. You love her and your answer is the right answer. Always answer with honesty. Again, push back and let her know that she's pressuring you into lying. Ask her if she wants you to get into the habit of lying to make her feel good, or if she prefers that you be honest even if it's not the answer she wants. Cuz niggas who get into the habit of petty lies get used to lying all the time and eventually start lying about big things.
So here's the deal. It's possible to still love someone even if you're not as attracted to her.
I mean, I'm not really looking to smash immediately after my girl takes a dump. I'm not attracted to her at that moment in time. Doesn't mean I don't love her. And keeping it real, my girl DID get fat at a point in time and I wasn't feeling that attracted to her. I kept it all the way real after we took a trip to NYC and was like, yo, I'm not sure if I can remain faithful to you if I'm surrounded by attractive women if I'm not even attracted to you. She broke up with me. Called me shallow. All that. But I was keeping it all the way real with her. Making love to her just wasn't fun anymore. I loved her. I just...she wasn't meeting all of my needs. She hated me and all that. I'm over here like, yo, we don't need to break up. I just need to see effort on your end. Like show me you love ME by at least TRYING to look good for me. So yeah, we broke up for like a week. I wasn't proud of myself. But I knew I did the right thing. But in the end, she realized that I was right. And she started eating right and working out and she ended up looking better than ever. It's not being shallow. It's knowing your needs. I mean, if a girl needs a guy to be touchy feely with her, but the guy isn't, and she breaks up with him, is she shallow? No. Her needs aren't being met. Well keep it real with yourself. You need to feel attracted to enjoy sex. There no shame in that. And by fronting about it, you're setting yourself up for failure. And yeah, meet them halfway. Don't expect them to be all in shape if you're a slob.
But also, important question is, if she loves YOU, why wouldn't she put in the effort to stay in shape for you?
There's 2 sides to the coin and when you're being honest, you shouldn't feel guilty. She's thinking like a woman (emotional) you're thinking like a man (logical). Help her see your side of the coin.