I had this realization today. This girl has given so much of herself to me, yet been so mysterious. I have bonded with her yet been so distant. She has been so incredibly attractive to me since day one, before I knew she was into me, before I boned her, and now that its more than 3 years since I smashed. Shes been so distant and cold, yet some how so warm, and she knows everything about me. I mean she'll show me warmth in person and she knows all of my most horrible secrets and deeds. I've been with my girl for so long and shes the stable one, the smart choice... But damn im still trippin over this other one im posting about. Its been 6-7 years. I feel like its one of those movies where you low key love this woman all along and refuse to give in because your head says no, but she has some kind of kung fu grip on your heart. I never felt like this..... Right now im a few beers deep and I can't stop thinking about her. I feel like I love her, like i'd leave my incredible girlfriend of 3 1/2 years just for her. I feel like I want her to be so happy even if she never knows i've felt this way. Sometimes I think back to this simple thing she said to me last october, looked me in the eye and said it so gentle and slow... Pain is pleasure. If the feeling I have right now passes I know i'll revisit it sooner or later... Right now I low key feel like before we are far apart from eachother forever I should tell her all kinds of crazy shit on some real man shit, just not even expecting shit back just on some this is how i feel and i don't give a fuck what you or anyone else thinks but at least you know and I hope whatever happens in your life you are happy. I never felt this way I have had more substantial relationships and feelings towards woman but this one is so unique and rare and special to me... I know enough to know im probably a fool no matter what, but I have to wonder if im just crazy for her mysterious ways or if this is really my deepest desire... Maybe some of both... Maybe its ok to feel love in this form. Regardless, there is something so beautiful and pure about it. I will see her tomorrow, this local rapper I know through friends who i've kicked some freestyles with is opening for spaceghostpurrp and the raider klann and hooked us up with free entry sooo... damn. I'm sure i'll play it cool and front like shes just any female as I always do for the sake of staying in my place. This girl with her man shes been with for 3 years, its like she wont even give all of herself to him... There is some kind of pain I share with her. Some kind of secret or something. I know im sounding wack with this but any opinions or advice is respected.I got one for hb fam, and its not about my girl, its about my friend a hit a few years back. Wonderin what others 2 cents are bout her actions. There was this cute girl i was diggin for mad long, during some time we were both single we got close, but i had another girl i was diggin more so i wasn't that focused on her. She knew about the other chick and all that, but eventually we couldn't resist, we had a night out partying and she came home with me, she brought a condom and everything and she was only kicking it with me that weekend so I figured she planned for it, after that I got more serious with the other girl but I kept kicking it with home girl I banged, being just friends with her was good, we were a little flirty still doe, smooched once drunk by accident, we slowly ended up chilling less and less and she got a man and im still serious with the other girl. Now I see her occasionally, we dont really make plans just through mutual friends we kick it, she still acts a little flirty though, touches my face, sneaks up on me from behind and buts her hands over my eyes, runs her fingers through my hair, always a big hug, doesnt really try to get near me and snuggly but seems comfy if i initiate (I wouldn't even be tryna do that if she wasn't doin that other flirty shit), on the other hand its not like shes all over me and sometimes doesn't often reply to my texts or seem that interested in chillin if i hit her up, she shoot me a happy bday text all caps with the heart today. whats hb fam opinion on this females actions? she doesnt bone mad dudes or stay acting like that with her other male friends, but she also doesn't seem all over my d. you think shes still attracted but tryna keep her distance after i hit that ass a few years back, since we're both in relationships with other ppl? thats my theory but i don't want to play myself and find myself wrong the next time we're both single and i try to see whats good with her.