Kobe Bryant 給 17 歲自己的信：正確地照料親人好友，免去不必要的眼淚與苦困

黑曼巴 Kobe Bryant 宣佈退役後，最後一場球賽對上 Utah Jazz 奪下 60 分結束 NBA 生涯，再起步巡迴世界各地，帶給球迷最後的珍貴回憶。無論您是否 Kobe Bryant 的球迷，相信亦會深深感受到他對世界帶來的改變，在退役後，他是全球運動界的典範，影響著青年球迷的夢，給予過一代成年人的回憶；出道時，Kobe Bryant 了解到成為 NBA 球員，要考慮到的不止自己一人。最近，Kobe Bryant 在 The Players Tribune 網站上，公開一封對自己 17 歲時的信，講述過去應該要用心照顧身邊人，並非單單把金錢、物質分享給親友。

信中提及讓其兄弟姐妹（Siblings）直接過上富裕的物質生活，以為自己並沒有過錯，反而卻令他們的人生止步，其實正帶出他與親姐妹 Sharia 及 Shaya。早前 Kobe 在 ESPN 一篇訪問當中提到，決定中斷其對親姐妹的經濟支援，「他們是一對非常聰明、受教育的女性，他們現在應該明白可以自給自足，而不是依賴著我。」，忍痛與姐妹作出抉擇，無疑令黑曼巴怪罪於自己。對於家庭，他以這樣的一句作總結，「我們的關係糟透了。」已經 3 年沒有跟父母對話的 Kobe，自從 2013 年父母隱瞞 Kobe，偷偷把他的舊球衣、冠軍指環作拍賣，而引發 Kobe 需要對親生父母對薄公堂，令他心痛不已。

以下是 The Players Tribune 的原文，基於以上 Kobe 的家庭關係，可見他相當後悔當初沒有好好管理其財產，亦後悔只給予家人好友物質，而非關懷及愛護，最後導致相互間的憤怒、怨恨以及嫉妒。黑曼巴信中的對像，也許亦是對不少職業球員分享其故事，希望在努力於球場上爭取表現、挑戰自己的同時，不要忘卻家人的關係。

Dear 17-year-old self,

When your Laker dream comes true tomorrow, you need to figure out a way to invest in the future of your family and friends. This sounds simple, and you may think it’s a no-brainer, but take some time to think on it further.

I said INVEST.

I did not say GIVE.

Let me explain.

Purely giving material things to your siblings and friends may appear to be the right decision. You love them, and they were always there for you growing up, so it’s only right that they should share in your success and all that comes with it. So you buy them a car, a big house, pay all of their bills. You want them to live a beautiful, comfortable life, right?

But the day will come when you realize that as much as you believed you were doing the right thing, you were actually holding them back.

You will come to understand that you were taking care of them because it made YOU feel good, it made YOU happy to see them smiling and without a care in the world — and that was extremely selfish of you. While you were feeling satisfied with yourself, you were slowly eating away at their own dreams and ambitions. You were adding material things to their lives, but subtracting the most precious gifts of all: independence and growth.

Understand that you are about to be the leader of the family, and this involves making tough choices, even if your siblings and friends do not understand them at the time.

Invest in their future, don’t just give.

Use your success, wealth and influence to put them in the best position to realize their own dreams and find their true purpose. Put them through school, set them up with job interviews and help them become leaders in their own right. Hold them to the same level of hard work and dedication that it took for you to get to where you are now, and where you will eventually go.

I’m writing you now so that you can begin this process immediately, and so that you don’t have to deal with the hurt and struggle of weaning them off of the addiction that you facilitated. That addiction only leads to anger, resentment and jealousy from everybody involved, including yourself.

As time goes on, you will see them grow independently and have their own ambitions and their own lives, and your relationship with all of them will be much better as a result.

There’s plenty more I could write to you, but at 17, I know you don’t have the attention span to sit through 2,000 words.

The next time I write to you, I may touch on the challenges of mixing blood with business. The most important advice I can give to you is to make sure your parents remain PARENTS and not managers.

Before you sign that first contract, figure out the right budget for your parents — one that will allow them to live beautifully while also growing your business and setting people up for long-term success. That way, your children’s kids and their kids will be able to invest in their own futures when the time comes.

Your life is about to change, and things are about to come at you very fast. But just let this sink in a bit when you lay down at night after another nine-hour training day.

Trust me, setting things up right from the beginning will avoid a ton of tears and heartache, some of which remains to this day.

Much love,

Kobe