Dear Dwight David Howard, when you had the chance to be a Net you instead decided to opt in like a little pussy because you were scared of being dealt to Houston even though you could've walked away like Kobe and his rape case. I hope you enjoy one more season wearing that ugly Magic's jersey, playing in an ugly arena, and a horrible city like Orlando. You gave up the chance to play in Brooklyn in front of Jay-Z, Kanye, Beyonce, Kim Kardashian, me  , in a marketable city, and by far the best basketball arena in the NBA. Did I forget to mention, with one of the best PGs in the league.
If you get traded to the Lakers, I hope you endure getting puta slapped by the Thunder in the second round and you better keep that butty hole tight because I hear Kobe loves doing it raw.
signed, salty nets fan
Have fun with giving a max deal to a center who can't rebound for shit and plays defense like a poor man's Carlos Boozer.