November 2, 2007 @ 11:49 AM
calo!

Post: 159

Join Date: Jul 2006

Location: UK

Written by a male:


"I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.lol

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least she got the picture."
November 2, 2007 @ 11:57 AM
CHEEP

Post: 4169

Join Date: Mar 2007

Location: 904

hmm...... ive never been in a situation like that. usually, i get girls who are not too into sex to want it all the time. i dont buy them shit either.
November 2, 2007 @ 01:12 PM
STI Guy

Post: 4516

Join Date: Jan 2007

Location: nyc

dude.... you are awesome. i will use this if i ever get into this situation.
November 2, 2007 @ 02:28 PM
funkdoobi

Post: 412

Join Date: Mar 2007

Location: Toronto

that was quite entertaining if i do say so myself
November 2, 2007 @ 03:17 PM
damnwitless1

Post: 3011

Join Date: Dec 2006

Location: Freeport LI

and people wonder why I'm a misogynist...razz

All I do is smoke weed and listen to MF DOOM innercitykidsmusic.com

November 2, 2007 @ 03:47 PM
reggan

Post: 591

Join Date: Aug 2007

haha omg, that is one of the coolest thing's I've ever heard a boyfriend do to his girlfriend :D!

http://juicydistortion.tumblr.com/

November 2, 2007 @ 03:52 PM
KillaKate

Post: 1142

Join Date: Mar 2006

Location: New fuckin jersey

and people wonder why I'm a misogynist...razz


because that is something to really be proud of...
November 2, 2007 @ 03:54 PM
tommyroks

Post: 4408

Join Date: Jul 2006

Location: queens

thats amazing!!! Props on that
November 2, 2007 @ 04:03 PM
zyezye

Post: 4411

Join Date: Aug 2007

Location: somewhere, over the...

HAHAHA BRILLIANT
November 2, 2007 @ 04:20 PM
damnwitless1

Post: 3011

Join Date: Dec 2006

Location: Freeport LI

I wouldn't say it's something to be proud of, but it's something I stand by. It's like killing a man who pulled a gun on you, you're not proud of it but you don't regret it

All I do is smoke weed and listen to MF DOOM innercitykidsmusic.com

November 2, 2007 @ 04:47 PM
KillaKate

Post: 1142

Join Date: Mar 2006

Location: New fuckin jersey

I wouldn't say it's something to be proud of, but it's something I stand by. It's like killing a man who pulled a gun on you, you're not proud of it but you don't regret it


They have no direct correlation with each other, but nice try
November 2, 2007 @ 04:54 PM
damnwitless1

Post: 3011

Join Date: Dec 2006

Location: Freeport LI

They have no direct correlation with each other, but nice try


nice try? Whos trying? I don't need to explain myself to some broad. maybe if you focused on keeping the toilet bowl sparkling instead of thinking, you wouldn't be so confused.

All I do is smoke weed and listen to MF DOOM innercitykidsmusic.com

November 2, 2007 @ 05:19 PM
damnwitless1

Post: 3011

Join Date: Dec 2006

Location: Freeport LI

aight, but only because you's a chill niigga|0

All I do is smoke weed and listen to MF DOOM innercitykidsmusic.com

November 2, 2007 @ 05:19 PM
sellme

Post: 2189

Join Date: Mar 2007

Location: toronto

I wouldn't say it's something to be proud of, but it's something I stand by. It's like killing a man who pulled a gun on you, you're not proud of it but you don't regret it

LMAO.. fail.
November 2, 2007 @ 05:22 PM
damnwitless1

Post: 3011

Join Date: Dec 2006

Location: Freeport LI

lol ok maybe that was a little lofty.

All I do is smoke weed and listen to MF DOOM innercitykidsmusic.com

November 2, 2007 @ 05:22 PM
RoseSippa

Post: 394

Join Date: Oct 2007

nice try? Whos trying? I don't need to explain myself to some broad. maybe if you focused on keeping the toilet bowl sparkling instead of thinking, you wouldn't be so confused.


hahaha money.
November 2, 2007 @ 09:34 PM
pnsho

Post: 6871

Join Date: Jan 2007

Haha, wow. Good story.
November 2, 2007 @ 11:00 PM
SIKE!samedi

Post: 142

Join Date: May 2007

Location: Cambodia

i bet you she was waiting for ashton kutcher
November 3, 2007 @ 12:10 AM
JLASA

Post: 1031

Join Date: Oct 2007

props on this story
November 3, 2007 @ 12:26 AM
IHaveAPosse

Post: 471

Join Date: Nov 2006

yeaa... pretty sure my english supply teacher in grade nine read that to the class .. still pretty funny i guess

as for me .. i just get girls with jobs .. simple
November 3, 2007 @ 12:44 AM
L

Post: 2153

Join Date: Jun 2007

Location: New York.

Ahaha, yeah pretty interesting indeed but I'm almost certain I've read that sometime before. Regardless, good find.
November 3, 2007 @ 01:05 AM
PeeWee

Post: 1005

Join Date: Nov 2006

Location: MPLS

dope.
November 3, 2007 @ 01:46 AM
Sea-town

Post: 399

Join Date: Dec 2006

Location: Seattle

hahaha good story.
November 3, 2007 @ 03:03 AM
BruhMan

Post: 5120

Join Date: Nov 2006

Location: 5thFlo

nice try? Whos trying? I don't need to explain myself to some broad. maybe if you focused on keeping the toilet bowl sparkling instead of thinking, you wouldn't be so confused.


this niiggga cold on em lol. good read though, definitely a way to turn the tables
November 3, 2007 @ 03:51 AM
SantoAngelo

Post: 1456

Join Date: Oct 2006

thats perfection right there ...
November 3, 2007 @ 05:57 AM
Father Time

Post: 835

Join Date: Dec 2006

Location: Los Angeles

Mildly amusing.

Thumbs Down.
November 3, 2007 @ 11:20 AM
Orpami

Post: 1617

Join Date: Nov 2006

Location: Miami, Fl

and people wonder why I'm a misogynist...razz


Being a misogynist is the first step to becoming a fag.
November 3, 2007 @ 11:37 AM
damnwitless1

Post: 3011

Join Date: Dec 2006

Location: Freeport LI

Hugh Hefner and Eazy E say it's the last step to becoming a real man

All I do is smoke weed and listen to MF DOOM innercitykidsmusic.com

November 3, 2007 @ 11:52 AM
Orpami

Post: 1617

Join Date: Nov 2006

Location: Miami, Fl

^ I guess it depends on how you look at it. Plus, I don't think either of them are the people you should get advice from about becoming a real man.
November 3, 2007 @ 03:47 PM
Shanklin

Post: 9597

Join Date: Nov 2006

Fuck is a misogynist? Disrespect toward women?

http://kevinshanklin.com/ IF YOU HAVE A FFFOUND.COM INVITE MSG ME


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