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September 15, 2013 @ 10:51 PM
De Niro

Post: 397

Join Date: Jul 2013

typical "I shit myself story".

first day of freshman year in my high school. Ate some weird shit for breakfast that had my stomach weak af. Tried to hold it in from 1st-3rd period until I said fuck it, imma take a shit. So i run down to the boys restroom, but right before I get into a stall, I shit myself. There I was standing, my 1st damn day of high school and I shitted myself, and it was in my favorite boxers too  . So I stashed the shitted boxers into the toilet cover containers in the stall and left. Next period a friend came up to me and was like "Where's the poop?", I responded by saying "How'd you know I shit my pants?!" Turns out he was referring to a HIMYM tv episode that aired the night before. yupp he told everyone that I shit my pants afterwards too. 
Same thing was about to happen to my bro on his first day of HS in freshman year also, we were walking in the parking lot and all of a sudden, his whole body language and face just changed and he just said, "I really have to take a shit, like really bad and right now." I was kinda mad at him and said to him in an annoyed tone, "this is really happening on the first day of school?" and he said nothing and was standing all awkwardly. I walk into the office so he can shit in the Nurse's office bathroom because it is the cleanest bathroom and its a one room bathroom, so privacy and everything is all perfect then as I set foot into the office, he all of a sudden, grabs me by the shoulder and stops me, and says, "I don't have to shit anymore." Me being confused, I ask him if he is sure he doesn't have to go shit, and he nods his head in agreement, so I said,"okay..." and introduce him to my friends and shit but all of a sudden I saw him ditch me and walk off to the office really fast and in my head I say godamn it so I didn't bother to follow him. after about 20 minutes or so we go to our advisory classes then we go to an assembly to introduce the new freshman and the seniors that will graduate this year. 30 minutes into the assembly I see my brother walk in to the assembly all late and shit looking like a dumbass and he sits in the bleachers with the freshman, people thinking that's me and shit also cuz we look alike lol but after the assembly was over he found me in passing period and ran up to me all excited and happy and said to me, "I did it!" and I ask him how and he went to the office and asked to use the bathroom and the counselor lady was cool with it and said yea. So we went on with the school day and at the end of the day we go to our advisory class for the last 15 minutes of school so we can make sure schedules are correct etc then the bell rang and I walked to the front of the school where I met up with my bro. He told me he didn't go to advisory because the counselor saw him walk out of PE and called him into the office and said to him, "If you ever need to go to the bathroom because you have "stomach nervousness" then we need to make up a secret word so you can let me know next time." my bro said, "Oh, alright." and he was wearing a Supreme hat that day and she asked, "What does your hat say?" and he said, "Supreme." and she said, "Well if your stomach is not feeling good then come to the office and say,"My stomach is not feeling so Supreme." lmfao so the secret code word to say he gotta take a shit really bad is Supreme, not really an L but a funny story
September 16, 2013 @ 12:24 AM
HBer

Post: 637

Join Date: Jun 2013

In elementary school there was this white girl with a nice ass(for 5th grade). One day I decided to be slick and rub her with the lil Timmy, it was successful and unnoticed. So I kept doing it everyday after lunch.


When that school year ended, right before we left for the buses she stood up and yelled "HE'S BEEN RUBBING HIS PENIS ON ME". Bruh I cried all summer after that.


Bitches ain't shit fam.
why were you rubbing your penis on her .... i feel you might become a rapist

Is she constantly posting selfies? If yes, why is she seeking attention from other men?

September 16, 2013 @ 12:32 AM
Black Samurai

Post: 391

Join Date: Sep 2013

Y'all aint ready for this one... So I was in middle school and I had already lost most of my innocence so a youngin' was thinking damn what could I fap to todayconfused If y'all remeber Limewire had the game on lock with the easy search and porn downloads cool so I download some latina piff Spanishflies with Elena Heiress... so I'm handling business right and I start hearing rattling and shit suprised time to abort mission so a younging start Xing shit off but the rattling getting closer like on some Jason finna crack the corner shit... YO I still had to put my dick away and hide it so I Yanked my dick into my pants and all I heard was ZZZZZRP suprisedsuprisedsad I ripped my dick... I ripped my dick... I ripped my dick .... Bruh I fucking ripped the stem between the shaft and the head not fully but enough that it was visible and bled.... Explaining that shit to my parents who caught me in an after fap then us having to lie to the doctor... Then having to control boners in school to not re bruise  

Don't Shoot Pimpin'

September 16, 2013 @ 01:12 AM
champagne papi

Post: 540

Join Date: Aug 2013

Location: dmv

Y'all aint ready for this one... So I was in middle school and I had already lost most of my innocence so a youngin' was thinking damn what could I fap to today If y'all remeber Limewire had the game on lock with the easy search and porn downloads  so I download some latina piff Spanishflies with Elena Heiress... so I'm handling business right and I start hearing rattling and shit  time to abort mission so a younging start Xing shit off but the rattling getting closer like on some Jason finna crack the corner shit... YO I still had to put my dick away and hide it so I Yanked my dick into my pants and all I heard was ZZZZZRP  I ripped my dick... I ripped my dick... I ripped my dick .... Bruh I fucking ripped the stem between the shaft and the head not fully but enough that it was visible and bled.... Explaining that shit to my parents who caught me in an after fap then us having to lie to the doctor... Then having to control boners in school to not re bruise  
it was actually painful to read this. i send my condolences 

Team #1059

September 16, 2013 @ 07:16 AM
AmericanLegend

Post: 2572

Join Date: Jul 2012

Location: USA

Y'all aint ready for this one... So I was in middle school and I had already lost most of my innocence so a youngin' was thinking damn what could I fap to today If y'all remeber Limewire had the game on lock with the easy search and porn downloads  so I download some latina piff Spanishflies with Elena Heiress... so I'm handling business right and I start hearing rattling and shit  time to abort mission so a younging start Xing shit off but the rattling getting closer like on some Jason finna crack the corner shit... YO I still had to put my dick away and hide it so I Yanked my dick into my pants and all I heard was ZZZZZRP  I ripped my dick... I ripped my dick... I ripped my dick .... Bruh I fucking ripped the stem between the shaft and the head not fully but enough that it was visible and bled.... Explaining that shit to my parents who caught me in an after fap then us having to lie to the doctor... Then having to control boners in school to not re bruise  
u broke ur banjo string 

shit is common also happens if u bangin a hoe hard af

taste the glamour

September 16, 2013 @ 07:20 AM
losolu

Post: 267

Join Date: Nov 2011

Location: USA

Not mine, but I'm just gna tell it in first person...

One day in third grade, ya' boy just got done running around and shit during the last recess of the day. So I'm sipping on some water at the fountain to quench my thirst and got to class for the last lesson. Around 10 minutes until class was over, the urge to take a piss had overcome my body. Like I'm tapping my feet and putting both my hands on my dick to hold it in. Since it's the last 15 minutes and my teacher is mean as fuck, I knew the monster wouldn't let me use the restroom to relieve my piss. So I figured I could hold it in for 10 minutes... But ya' boy could no longer hold it in and needed to explode. Being the naive elementary child I am, I slowly started pissing in my pants in class silently so no one would know and shit. The bell rang and all the kids were putting their chairs up on their desks and leaving. Not knowing what the fuck to do with the puddle of piss on my chair, I was freaking the fuck out. Not wanting my teacher to know I pissed in class and giving my parents a call, I decided to switch chairs with the kid next to me. So I put the piss puddle chair on top of his desk, and took his chair and put it on mine. I ran out of class and all the way home and called it a day. The next day at school, word spread around that my fellow classmate pissed his pants in class and left the puddle on his chair. I guess I took the L and handed it to the kid next door. He was never the same 
September 16, 2013 @ 04:38 PM
boba

Post: 85

Join Date: Jun 2013

typical "I shit myself story".

first day of freshman year in my high school. Ate some weird shit for breakfast that had my stomach weak af. Tried to hold it in from 1st-3rd period until I said fuck it, imma take a shit. So i run down to the boys restroom, but right before I get into a stall, I shit myself. There I was standing, my 1st damn day of high school and I shitted myself, and it was in my favorite boxers too  . So I stashed the shitted boxers into the toilet cover containers in the stall and left. Next period a friend came up to me and was like "Where's the poop?", I responded by saying "How'd you know I shit my pants?!" Turns out he was referring to a HIMYM tv episode that aired the night before. yupp he told everyone that I shit my pants afterwards too. 

DEAD. i know that feel of stashing the soiled undies in the toiler cover box too b
September 16, 2013 @ 10:33 PM
Bobby Trill

Post: 64

Join Date: Jul 2013

Location: United States

Damn I feel for some of y'all nikkas so ya boy finna bless the HB fam with a story from my youth

Aight so back in 9th grade a nigga was feelin himself nahmean. Nigga had bitches runnin' wild like an axe commercial son and u know my fit game was on point. Anyways, bout halfway through the year this fine ass columbian bitch with the FATTEST ass transfers to our school. Cuh, when i first seen this bitch i was straight shook at her beauty. I mean i aint usually sprung over some female cause i pretty much could get anyone i wanted (captain of the football team, varsity on basketball, star player on the baseball team, etc) but when i first laid eyes on this girl b it was like the red sea parted and diddy floated down from the sky to sing I need a girl part 1 acapella for ya boy. She was about 5'1, shoulder length black hair, almond colored skin, nice tits and like i said fam, dat ass was on point. Booty was thick enough to eat off nahmean, nigga woulda straight ate that butthole quicker than kobayashi if she asked.

Anyways, about a week passes by an im with my niggas kickin it in earth science. we usually just dicked around in there bullying this fat lil nigga who transferred to our school in gr6 after gettin kicked out of his old one for jerkin off in class during recess wearing nothin but some tube socks, word is bond HB fam. his name was tevin mack and we'd call him tuggin' t, t-jack, mack jack, etc. lookin back maybe we were a little rough on the kid but niggas is cutthroat at that age b, we was on that charles darwin survival of the fittest shit.

So we're watching this bill nye video in class and linda (columbian new girl) is in our group that week so we get to sit at the same table. As soon as i found out we were in the same group i started getting a little nervous nahmean, this bitch had a nigga feelin like drake after one too many pink panty droppers b. i was straight love drunk HB and willing to do anything to impress this broad. So about halfway through the video linda asks to go to the bathroom and leaves. Now everyone talks during video days and the teacher didn't give a shit but i hadn't said one word to linda all period. she was pretty shy and introverted which is normal i guess for the new kid in school. anyways im schemin with the homies trying to figure out how to talk to this girl when one of my niggas suggests askin her to sit with us at lunch. 

*will continue, gotta do somethin rite quick...
September 16, 2013 @ 10:38 PM
buddha-monk

Post: 152

Join Date: Jan 2013

how you gonna start a story then ask permission to continue?
September 16, 2013 @ 10:41 PM
Bobby Trill

Post: 64

Join Date: Jul 2013

Location: United States

I'm on mobile fam gimme a sec to get home so I can type the rest out
September 16, 2013 @ 10:43 PM
_TerenceDion

Post: 62

Join Date: Jul 2013

that was lame.
September 16, 2013 @ 11:25 PM
FLVMINCO

Post: 393

Join Date: Jun 2012

Location: Tyler, Texas

That story was fictional af bruh.

Follow me @Pyrex_Lanvin on twitter, mixed women are the GOAT.

September 18, 2013 @ 12:36 AM
SOmuchGREEN

Post: 76

Join Date: Oct 2010

Location: STL, Seattle, NYC, C...

STUDENT LOANS!!!! 
September 18, 2013 @ 09:46 PM
ReRetro Everything!

Post: 74

Join Date: Jun 2013

Not my biggest L but anyways:

Two years ago in my senior year of high school in I was walking with my boys to head back to class cause lunch just ended. They walk faster than me so I was lagging behind, looking at what was going on around me. On the way back I seen four or five of the finest girls my school had to offer having some bad bitch summit/conference talking about prom and after parties (thirsty niggas lurking around trying to peep the ass and shit one last time before class started lol). One of the girls was mixed Spanish, Italian, and Filipino and was my main crush throughout high school. Had that volleyball player body, face game nice, and slight rasp to her voice that had ya boy anonymously simping on all levels (Tumblr, formspring, etc). Back to the L, I thought I had caught up to my boys and was like "Ay check this shit out they -" but before I could say another word it was too late. I walked into the only pole in my way (I seen it when I started walking to class smh). Some people including security seen it happen all tryin to keep they giggles on the low but I heard the whole thang sad on some blame game shit. To make things worse my crush saw it but looked away to make it seem like she didn't see it happen. I caught up to my boys but I didn't tell em what happened. When I thought my day couldn't get any better, after school that day I seen my crush get asked to prom in front of almost everyone......

Biggest L coming soon........
September 18, 2013 @ 10:11 PM
ragamuffin

Post: 363

Join Date: Sep 2012

Location: Oslo

Middle school is where L's happen.

I'm in 8th grade and we're having a gym class. It was the middle of the year so everyone knew eachother a little bit. Anyway, by some reason everyone starts pulling down eachothers shorts. We're running around, and only the boys did this. I get hyped up (not from pulling down other boys shorts though) and was thinking pretending to pull down a girls gymtights would be a great idea. This girl right beside me was the unfortunate one and i barely nipped her tights, little did i know her "tights" was loose as fuck. Her "tights" fell right down and she just stood there fake crying in her yellow panties for like 10 seconds not pulling her tights up (did she like it? like wtf), i didn't know what to do so i just ran out of the hall after standing there 5 secs asking if she was okay, but no answer. Her friends rushed to help her, boys was like "take a pic". (Teacher wasn't there, and they didn't) After school i apologized to her when she was alone, and then shit was all okay.

Next morning i find out this bitch went all vendetta on me and like half the girls in class would support her (some of them fine, yes a problem). Class was awkward for 1 week, then next gym class, she made her girls "witness" to the gym teacher what had happened, and i had to apologize in front of the whole class and tell my parents what i did. Shit was humiliating.

3 weeks later she went all strip tease at a party with some older guys, she was clearly traumatized.

http://gollygee13.tumblr.com/

September 18, 2013 @ 10:16 PM
dinor_norrior

Post: 1

Join Date: Aug 2013

wrong post wrong place
September 18, 2013 @ 10:53 PM
deathwish

Post: 170

Join Date: Aug 2012

so freshman year we had a little assembly to kinda get a taste of the school, so after the whole assembly was done everybody was trying to leave and we only had like 2 staircases to walk down and they would fit about 2 peeople side by side walking down, so when the assembly ended all 750 freshman tried to leave. so me and my boy decided to hop the fence infront of all the cheerleaders and like all the kids, so my boy hops the fence with ease, then it was my turn. i put one leg over the fence and somehow all my body weight went forward i fell all the way to the ground and ate shit. definently one of the biggest L's I've taken.
September 19, 2013 @ 03:51 AM
IveyAlumneye

Post: 198

Join Date: Apr 2008

Location: Цюрих, Швейцария

When I was like 8 I took Tae-Kwan-Do and it was the most boring shit of my life. One day we had belt grading, which meant you had to participate in the sparring competitions. My weight division had one person show up, I beat him and got the 1st place trophy. My dad who was watching me thought that was pussy shit that only one other person was in my division, so he made me go up a weight/ age class and fight for real. So my first fight went well, won it. Fight two was against a chick who had to be like 16 or something. This bitch legit out pointed the shit outa me, didn't knock me out or anything, but she won and instead of getting a sweet 1st place trophy, I got a second place little bitch trophy. And all my dad wanted to see was me get owned by a girl... what a guy haha
September 19, 2013 @ 06:52 PM
GW

Post: 288

Join Date: May 2008

I can't believe so many niggas have shitted on themselves cuh
January 27, 2014 @ 12:58 AM
HBer

Post: 637

Join Date: Jun 2013

Bump (10 Char)

Is she constantly posting selfies? If yes, why is she seeking attention from other men?

January 27, 2014 @ 01:03 AM
mrh

Post: 3085

Join Date: Aug 2006

Location: MN

did you guys ever play that red rover game when you were young in school?  might be a midwest thing idk

either way the class divides into 2  sides and everyone holds hands, one person at a time from each side has to try to run through and break the chain, so its basically teachers setting up kids to get close lined.  I got close lined twice in front of the class 
January 27, 2014 @ 01:16 AM
smegmashark

Post: 196

Join Date: Mar 2013

did you guys ever play that red rover game when you were young in school?  might be a midwest thing idk

either way the class divides into 2  sides and everyone holds hands, one person at a time from each side has to try to run through and break the chain, so its basically teachers setting up kids to get close lined.  I got close lined twice in front of the class 
There is no way the biggest L you've taken was playing red rover.

http://yungcrunchy.tumblr.com/

January 27, 2014 @ 01:17 AM
smegmashark

Post: 196

Join Date: Mar 2013

did you guys ever play that red rover game when you were young in school?  might be a midwest thing idk

either way the class divides into 2  sides and everyone holds hands, one person at a time from each side has to try to run through and break the chain, so its basically teachers setting up kids to get close lined.  I got close lined twice in front of the class 
There is no way the biggest L you've taken was playing red rover.

http://yungcrunchy.tumblr.com/

January 27, 2014 @ 01:19 AM
db_cooper

Post: 2308

Join Date: Feb 2006

Location: Los Angeles

I was all tore up on cocaine and liquor at some house party like 5 years ago. Thought it would be a good idea to go get jack in the box. I remember leaving, going through the drive thru, eating in the parking lot then blacked out. I woke up the next morning in my own bed and thought 'damn that was a close one'. I go out to my car to go to work and my car is completely missing the front right tire and the rim is like a size of a volleyball. I looked up the street and there is a fucking silver line of where I was just riding rim. The party was over 20 miles away so I drove home blacked out on a bare ass rim. It must have looked like the damn 4th of July underneath the car. How I didn't get pulled over or anything else, God only knows. I took an L with the car situation but got extremely lucky in other aspects.
January 27, 2014 @ 01:26 AM
It's Only Hype

Post: 5554

Join Date: Jan 2008

did you guys ever play that red rover game when you were young in school?  might be a midwest thing idk

either way the class divides into 2  sides and everyone holds hands, one person at a time from each side has to try to run through and break the chain, so its basically teachers setting up kids to get close lined.  I got close lined twice in front of the class 
There is no way the biggest L you've taken was playing red rover.
Speaking of playing stuff in school, in elementary, we went out as a class and I was one of the kids demonstrating tetherball. That shit hit me square in the face in front of everyone suprised
January 27, 2014 @ 01:47 AM
mrh

Post: 3085

Join Date: Aug 2006

Location: MN

did you guys ever play that red rover game when you were young in school?  might be a midwest thing idk

either way the class divides into 2  sides and everyone holds hands, one person at a time from each side has to try to run through and break the chain, so its basically teachers setting up kids to get close lined.  I got close lined twice in front of the class 
There is no way the biggest L you've taken was playing red rover.
 settle down was just postin an L
January 27, 2014 @ 01:52 AM
AmericanLegend

Post: 2572

Join Date: Jul 2012

Location: USA

I was all tore up on cocaine and liquor at some house party like 5 years ago. Thought it would be a good idea to go get jack in the box. I remember leaving, going through the drive thru, eating in the parking lot then blacked out. I woke up the next morning in my own bed and thought 'damn that was a close one'. I go out to my car to go to work and my car is completely missing the front right tire and the rim is like a size of a volleyball. I looked up the street and there is a fucking silver line of where I was just riding rim. The party was over 20 miles away so I drove home blacked out on a bare ass rim. It must have looked like the damn 4th of July underneath the car. How I didn't get pulled over or anything else, God only knows. I took an L with the car situation but got extremely lucky in other aspects.
thats reminiscent of the wolf of wall street lemons scene 

taste the glamour

January 27, 2014 @ 01:53 AM
AmericanLegend

Post: 2572

Join Date: Jul 2012

Location: USA

my biggest L prolly was going on a party bus and only getting like 2 numbers

taste the glamour

January 27, 2014 @ 02:40 AM
wh0die

Post: 385

Join Date: Aug 2012

I got one, I was in 8th grade and like andre said middle school is where the Ls happen

Anyways it was halfway through the year, so everyone was testing and there was this cute girl I always had a small crush on nothing drake level but I was still somewhat infatuated with here but I never said anything to her because she had dated one of my boys. On the first day of testing tho she sat next to me and we were talking but on some friendly shit then out of nowhere she sits on my lap and a youngin didn't know what to do I hadn't even had my first kiss yet. She continued to do it for the three days that testing continued, then the day after testing one of her friends come ups to me and tells me she wants to date a nigga and to ask her out after school but your boy didn't even know what to do so he just stood and nodded.Once after school time came I found her by the bus and I was determined to make her my first girlfriend, but once I started talking your boy couldn't get his words out on some walt jr shit but she understood what I was asking and she said yes, so I felt like the man even if I almost shit myself stuttering. Then after this it only got worse every time I would talk to her I'd have a stutter episode so your boy would try to keep the convo short but eventually it got so bad I completely avoided being around her or speaking to her. I didn't even break up with her or anything just never spoke to her again because the stuttering. She would avoid me in the halls and I never told anyone about it either. My boys just knew I dated her but I never told anyone about the stuttering and luckily she never told anyone either.

 I saw her recently too at a mall after all these years and she is still cute, she was with her new nigga and I was with my current girlfriend we both just stared at each other awkwardly and looked away quickly like in shock. Had your boy thinking on some drake shit even though it's been almost five years lmao.
January 27, 2014 @ 03:17 AM
EraOfTerror

Post: 30

Join Date: Aug 2013

6th grade i was sitting in the front of class waiting to go to lunch i was fucking starving and all on edge and shit. the teacher pulls out a bag full of skittles for the class and walks over towards me. the bitch was really struggling to open the bag i was just sitting there ready to go. she finally rips it open and skittles go flying everywhere...i went straight for the skittles and legit punched my teacher in the pussy....shit was wild never forget that day

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