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September 7, 2013 @ 07:15 AM
Bluetooth

Post: 46

Join Date: Jun 2013


September 7, 2013 @ 07:21 AM
De Niro

Post: 397

Join Date: Jul 2013

by racial pride, I meant she made me feel bad to be of Vietnamese descent ^^ hence I had no pride in my ethnic background or who I was, I think everybody should appreciate their background,race, and culture and shouldn't feel bad about who they are like I did because of that racial remark she made is what I was trying to say
September 7, 2013 @ 09:21 AM
Glo'bito

Post: 1794

Join Date: Dec 2012

Location: Chiraq

any og members remember the story about the dude who shat himself on the subway and it got in his boots

lmaooo
that was blackbeiber lol

“those who break the rules are scum, but those who abandon their friends are worse than scum.”

September 7, 2013 @ 03:38 PM
Mr_Chukes

Post: 2389

Join Date: Mar 2012

Location: California

When I was in 7th grade there was this girl I really liked. I use to talk to her on aim almost everyday and I talked to her on the phone here and there. She didnt know I liked her I guess. I wrote her a poem to tell her how I felt. She showed the whole school and they laughed. sad
September 7, 2013 @ 04:36 PM
MuffinsNightmare

Post: 3502

Join Date: Jun 2013

Location: The Crime Labyrinth

HPV from an ex.

I've been known to invoke......FEELINGS. #NoPromo #NoFearGang #AntiMuffinMovement

September 7, 2013 @ 05:01 PM
falsenaga

Post: 420

Join Date: Sep 2012

Not me but too funny to not share..

Sitting in the waiting room at the doctor's office, when this middle-aged man walks in. He goes up to the receptionist, they talk for a bit, and then she hands him a cup and tells him that they "just need a sample." So the guy turns to walk towards the bathroom, but stops in his tracks.. He looks real confused, doing that shit where you kinda turn your head to the side and put your thinking face on. He stands there like that for about 30 seconds, then finally walks into the bathroom.

About 15 minutes later this dude walks out of the bathroom with a cup full of semen.. He walks up to the receptionist, and she goes ".. We need urine.."

I died.
September 7, 2013 @ 10:38 PM
smegmashark

Post: 208

Join Date: Mar 2013

Location: Vancouver

So Smeg, they shoved a dildo up your ass?  
yes. Terrible experience.

http://yungcrunchy.tumblr.com/

September 7, 2013 @ 10:38 PM
smegmashark

Post: 208

Join Date: Mar 2013

Location: Vancouver

I manage to move my head to see my crush pegging my virgin butthole with a little

dildo. shocked and in buttpain I try to get my phone outta my pocket but I threw up all over my a.p.c. denim and pass out. woke up the next morning in her car with pink pajama bottoms and a gausepad in my ass.


this is some seriously traumatic shit man jesus
dying at the subtle apc reference though 
Yeah, never got those pants back now that i think of it.

http://yungcrunchy.tumblr.com/

September 7, 2013 @ 10:44 PM
chief

Post: 6764

Join Date: Feb 2008

Location: WA

the



hot friend of hers has a video I don't know how I'm going to get rid of



that......."

•••

September 8, 2013 @ 03:15 AM
It's Only Hype

Post: 5706

Join Date: Jan 2008

Not me but too funny to not share..

Sitting in the waiting room at the doctor's office, when this middle-aged man walks in. He goes up to the receptionist, they talk for a bit, and then she hands him a cup and tells him that they "just need a sample." So the guy turns to walk towards the bathroom, but stops in his tracks.. He looks real confused, doing that shit where you kinda turn your head to the side and put your thinking face on. He stands there like that for about 30 seconds, then finally walks into the bathroom.

About 15 minutes later this dude walks out of the bathroom with a cup full of semen.. He walks up to the receptionist, and she goes ".. We need urine.."

I died.


Weird office though. They shouldn't have you bring the samples out like that. There should be someone attending right outside, or a collection cubby/drawer thing in the restroom (idk how to describe it)


On a similar note, me and the fam were driving down from Big Bear (CA), but the weather was shitty. Traffic was mad slow, and stop/go and I HAD TO TAKE A PISS. The road/highway is only 2 lanes along the mountain, so we were gonna be a while. So the traffic was stopped, and I was like fuck it, I'm going by the side.I run to some semi-brush area not too far from the highway, and I'm like pissing by a tree.

 I hear a little kid's voice [from the highway] go "Are you going pee pee ?"

I'm like ah fuck and I just say "uhh yeah"

It started to snow. The end.
September 8, 2013 @ 03:44 AM
ManyHenny

Post: 126

Join Date: Jul 2013

This happened when I was in 8th grade in middle school and we had to practice square dancing with a partner in PE so I just picked this girl and she started laughing and looking at her friend and whispering to her and I lowkey was feeling the girl but as time passed by I was walking past her and her group of friends and I heard them talk about me and pointing/looking and I heard, "You know I think he likes you and you would make a cute couple," and she says, "Eww I heard he is Vietnamese and they are fucking gross."  The bitch was Chinese and her fucking friends were giggling at me as I walked by; shit got me feeling sad and angry in the inside cuz the shit was racist and she embarrassed me in front of her friends behind my back and I didn't do shit about it. after that moment I avoided the hoe and it made me angry seeing her smile and talk with her friends. Shit destroyed my confidence and my sense of racial pride at that age but I lived in an area that many blacks/Hispanics live in so I got used to the racial jokes and shot back at them and didn't give a fuck and made me stronger as a person, but if any of yall never ever had that feeling of someone humiliating you just because of the way you are, it really fucking hurts
This is fucked up, but good for you to ignore the bitch.

Or you could've thrown in an insult and made her cry.
September 8, 2013 @ 03:52 AM
octose

Post: 659

Join Date: Apr 2013

lol imma have to read the rest later. but..

In like 7th grade I was getting ballsier skating on stairs and loading docks.  I had just got a new Jimmy Greco deck, and at the time i was short as fuck.  This deck went damn near up to my belly button. I had just got this shit gripped by some new black magic grip tape.. either way i was skating in my back yard, my deck had only a 2 stair i used to fuck around on.  Something went wrong and the board just kicked up and i got hit in the nuts.  I have been credit carded before, but my feet didnt even hit the fucking ground.  I was frozen in the air, popsicled.  upright with some hang time for what felt to be 3-5 seconds. i fell, my brother and homie laughed and left me outside like any regular skate injury.  My shit still hurt so i limped my broke ass upstairs and passed out for about an hour.  woke up to piss, groin still hurt.  i look down, and right where the rubber meets the road, where the balls connect to the leg, there was a deep laceration. in hindsight, definitely needed to get stitches, but i sterilized it and bandaged it together. it healed perfectly, had my doctor, Dr. Wang check it out. She referred me to a Urologist, also named Dr. Wang that said everything was cool.  Anyways I walked funny for a few weeks and the joke became for my friends to say shit about having one nut in public just making it awkward.  RIP to big L 
lmao that shit reminded me of this

'In heaven, all the interesting people are missing.' - Friedrich Nietzsche // I promote music: Youtube.com/thephuzz

September 8, 2013 @ 05:02 AM
I_Be_Krillin_It

Post: 429

Join Date: Mar 2013

This whole thread makes me sad af because i can relate to most of this stuff when i was in middle school

Fibrelight - says he has box logo.... reveals he wasn't strong enough to control its power

September 8, 2013 @ 10:28 AM
Electrik Heat

Post: 191

Join Date: Aug 2010

Location: Los Angeles

Back when I was 14 I didn't know how to stick it in the vagina properly and I couldn't get my head past her vagina so I convinced her with some minor bullshitting saying it wasn't me and it was her vagina's fault for being too tight.
Managed to convince her to do anal so I went for the ass but I became so nervous that I went limp every time I tried to pierce her asshole so ended up not doing anything at all with her ever sad
Never gonna forget this shit.

(WTB) Supreme Cannon / Vsop / Sport Stack / 8 ball /

September 8, 2013 @ 11:20 AM
SCC

Post: 49

Join Date: Sep 2010

Location: somewhere in the gal...

got drunk, took a shit inside my room, nuff said
September 8, 2013 @ 12:25 PM
mcgotkicks

Post: 800

Join Date: Apr 2012

Location: Bangladesh

This was gr6 and i was a naive lad not thinking properly. A gr8 man came up to me and told me and said hey kid I dare you to slap that white girls ass right there. That would be so cool. So I casually walked behind gave her a little tap in the buttocks region and ran. So as i was running i didn't notice the drain in front of me and I ate horse shit. Leaving a nigga to get 5 stitches on his chin. The most awkward part of this whole situation is when i was at the nurses room. Bitches parents were there. Her mom was crying. My dad was there and he gave me that look like I know that hes gonna beat the shit out of me when we got home. 2 pigs were there. And the principal. Nigga got suspended for a day. But the upside to this whole situation is when I walked with my dad to the car and he said. Did it at least feel good
September 8, 2013 @ 12:28 PM
Artevious McFly

Post: 29

Join Date: Jul 2012

Location: London, UK

Loool i'm 19 and the only time i've known someone to shit themselves is guy who was drunk passed out on the floor at a party. I seriously can't comprehend how it happens to people, especially so many on HB alone. There must be some laxatives or something in the water over there haha (i'm from UK). As far as the biggest L i've taken...hmmmm...

At a high school party, the first time i ever really approached a girl. There was this girl i really liked. Mixed race, smallish tits which i like and a very nice ass. In my opinion she was the best looking girl at there and she looked shy, which i also like.

Throughout the night we made eye contact a couple of times and smiled at each other so i thought she was feeling a nigga. We were like 3/4 of the way through the night so i decided i had to make a move soon. I waited till i caught eye contact again then i winked at her (it was cool and normal back then) then she started laughing/smiling in a good way. So i started walking over there all confident, slight pout (once again, it was cool then) looking like i do this shit everyday. Btw when i do anything for the first time i like to act like i've done it before, whether it's driving, sex, whatever. As i was walking towards her, i noticed her friends giving me the typical uptight black girl 'this nigga ain't shit, i hope he ain't coming over here' look. Man oh man i hate these bitches, cock blocking their friend coz a nigga ain't approached they ugly ass. And unless you're 6'4, a perfect 10 and appear to be guaping, you ain't winning them over any time soon. But anyway, i tried not to let it fuck up my steez so i went over there anyway. I asked her to dance, she said yeah and we danced for like a solid hour. No lie, the whole time her fucking friend were giving me some disguisting look the whole time, if they weren't busy laughing. Come to think of it, those are the times you need a wingman to distract these bitches. Unfortunately my boys were pros and by then were working on their own bitches. Near the end of the night i asked for her number and if she wanted to go out sometime and she said yeah. She even gave me a little kiss goodbye. As soon as i left her, her friends ran over to her like she was a Chilean who just got out the mine.

So a couple days after, i text her. I was like 'Hey, it's ____. I met you the other day at ____'s party'. She replied and said she doesn't remember me. I cried. Then she started telling people that she did it cause she felt sorry for me. I cried more. I'm sure her friends said some shit about me to make her say this stuff.

That ruined my confident for very a long time. The most fucked up part was that i knew she liked me! Actually nah, the worst part about it is that she's really winning now and her parents are rich as fuck.
September 8, 2013 @ 04:52 PM
________

Post: 853

Join Date: May 2012

only time i shit my pants was when i was in 5th grade. me and a bunch of friends were chilling/skating at our school and i had the bubble guts and my friends had stink bombs, lil kid shit, so the smell just made me get up and get tfo of there, shit my pants on the skate home but luckily there was a port o potty on the way where i left my shitty boxers in lol
September 8, 2013 @ 06:00 PM
mrh

Post: 3085

Join Date: Aug 2006

Location: MN

not me but someone i know.  Dude dropped acid, shat his pants, and proceeded to stick his hands inside, pull out shit covered fingers and lick em.  
September 8, 2013 @ 06:15 PM
Super Villain

Post: 75

Join Date: May 2011

Alright, this is my first post and most definitely the biggest L i've ever taken.

So this was last year, I was dating this bitch, but i went to a party without her my friend was having. This is in my second last year of high school. I've always had trouble with cheating on my grilfriends cuz a nigga can't really control himself. Anyways, so i go to this party and start gettin faded with my niggaz. All these bitches who go this party are like fuckin hipster girls like gettin hyphy off coke and M. This fine ass bitch blonde and big ass tits starts eyein my from across the room and shes like "yo you wanna go for a joint" So i go outside and this bitch starts telling me how i look like a male model, then starts talking about shakespeare and tells my she wants my dick. (I forgot to mention i saw her like railing huge lines off the kitchen counter. So i head inside and make another drink and head to the bathroom and i see that same bitch like dancing with a fucking vaccum. So i go inside the bathroom and this bitch breaks open the door like bow. She locks the fucking doors and like pushed me into this bathtub. She like starts making out with my face and im just like struggling to get out of this slippery ass fucking bathtub. So this bitch like pulls down my fucking pants and starts sucking my dick and im like oh shit. So im about to bust and she likes tries to deepthroat and fucking throws up on my dick. (ALSO ON MY BRAND NEW FUCKING PAIR OF APCS). So i like  push her off and she smacks her fucking head off the fucking faucet gets knocked the fuck out and the shower turns on. SO I GOT PUKE ON ME, CUM ON ME, AND NOW A PASSED OUT FUCKING BITCH ON ME, WHILE A FUCKING HOT ASS SHOWER IS ON ME. I just get the fuck up and basically fall out of this slippery ass shower and wash my pants off, and fucking hop out the window and fucking ran home. That bitch could have drowned for all i care sloppy ass hoe. Luckily i got the cum and fucking puke off my jeans....
September 8, 2013 @ 06:26 PM
susdaddy

Post: 805

Join Date: May 2012

Location: in da booty

7th grade i took a sex education class
i was a pure ass little boy ok
ex: i didnt even know what the word skeet meant till 8th grade 
so anyways teacher was talking about masturbation and i was like yo wtf is that 
i go home and try it
afterwards i instantly felt like a monster
acted weird at dinner n told my moms i had to have a talk with her
so i got her aside and started crying and told her what i did
i hugged her n said i felt ashamed and that itd never happen again
September 8, 2013 @ 06:36 PM
RiFF RaFF

Post: 1339

Join Date: Jan 2012

Location: San jose

Biggest L i took was at a doctors office.

I was waiting for my name to be called and all of a sudden i pop a boner.

Not even 30 seconds later the nurse says my name and i'm like fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkk

i try to ignore her and the bitch just says my name louder so i'm like fuck it yolo.

I walk across the room and i can feel the stare from the nurses  and when i look at them they were all smiling and giggling.

Shit was embarrassing fam 

Be about it

September 8, 2013 @ 06:46 PM
Jet Jaguar

Post: 459

Join Date: Jul 2012

Location: California

After thinking about it I think the biggest L I took was when this rich girl (daddys range rover, trips to cabo) kept asking me to eat her pussy and fuck her. Being the fuckboy that i was, I kept denying her. She isn't all that anyway but I still want to fuck the shit out of her when I see her, she has obviously moved on though razz
September 8, 2013 @ 07:08 PM
mrh

Post: 3085

Join Date: Aug 2006

Location: MN

Biggest L i took was at a doctors office.

I was waiting for my name to be called and all of a sudden i pop a boner.

Not even 30 seconds later the nurse says my name and i'm like fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkk

i try to ignore her and the bitch just says my name louder so i'm like fuck it yolo.

I walk across the room and i can feel the stare from the nurses  and when i look at them they were all smiling and giggling.

Shit was embarrassing fam 
so instead of tucking it up against the waist with your pants you just walk across the room like burgundy huh
September 8, 2013 @ 07:52 PM
________

Post: 853

Join Date: May 2012

pro tip: flex a muscle to get rid of boner faster
September 8, 2013 @ 08:12 PM
jjapplesauce

Post: 989

Join Date: Sep 2012

When I was a sophomore in HS I went on a family trip to ski in colorado.  We had this trip planned out for a long time but what we later realized was this trip was ran over from the weekend and into my finals week.  The rest of my families schedules were fine and they had nothing conflicting with the trip.  My parents werent really sure what to do and didnt want to re-book the trip so they decided to go ahead and let me skip.  Our plan was that my parents who were oddly enough cool with it, would call into the school office every morning to say I have a stomach flu (my school was not picky about a doctors note or anything as long as a parent called you in.)  So, we would do that and I would be able to make up finals.  While on our trip we were not aware that when we were there that the winter xgames were going on. On one of the last night of the trip (parents called me in sick) I decided to go and check out the xgames. I got there and pushed through the crowd to get to the front so I could see the halfpipe. Turned out almost everytime the skiers finished there run the camera followed them and I was constantly in the picture on espn.  I guess this fuck kid in my class saw me that night and the next day in my chemistry class the teacher mentioned something wondering where I was for the final and this dumbass kid said "I saw him on TV last night." He was on espn.  He also told her that he could tell it was me because he recognized my jacket I always wore and the beanie I had on was our school colors.    The class was pretty big and i was steaming pissed I never found out who snitched me out and the chemistry teacher wouldnt tell me.  When I returned from the trip I was able to make the last day of finals so I didnt miss all of them but later that day I stopped by the chemistry teachers room to talk about making the exam up no knowing what she knew.  I led in by telling her I was really sick with the stomach flu the past couple day and she told me what she had heard and she said was having the principle look into it and possibly get in contact with my parents to go over how they were going to handle this (teacher was a Bitch x10).  They were trying to not allow me to make up my finals. My principle was pretty cool and decided to let me take them but did something where the best grade I could get on them was a B.  I ended up doing terrible on them because of the score adjustment and had a ridiculously low Gpa.  I barely scraped through in passing alot of my classes with a D-.  My parents really stuck up for me and my mom got in the chemistry ladies face cause she called was calling my parents liars or something...idk whole situation was fucked.

Edit: sorry for being super long...
September 8, 2013 @ 08:37 PM
ThaGoldenBoy

Post: 1754

Join Date: Feb 2012

Location: UK

Loool i'm 19 and the only time i've known someone to shit themselves is guy who was drunk passed out on the floor at a party. I seriously can't comprehend how it happens to people, especially so many on HB alone. There must be some laxatives or something in the water over there haha (i'm from UK). As far as the biggest L i've taken...hmmmm...

At a high school party, the first time i ever really approached a girl. There was this girl i really liked. Mixed race, smallish tits which i like and a very nice ass. In my opinion she was the best looking girl at there and she looked shy, which i also like.

Throughout the night we made eye contact a couple of times and smiled at each other so i thought she was feeling a nigga. We were like 3/4 of the way through the night so i decided i had to make a move soon. I waited till i caught eye contact again then i winked at her (it was cool and normal back then) then she started laughing/smiling in a good way. So i started walking over there all confident, slight pout (once again, it was cool then) looking like i do this shit everyday. Btw when i do anything for the first time i like to act like i've done it before, whether it's driving, sex, whatever. As i was walking towards her, i noticed her friends giving me the typical uptight black girl 'this nigga ain't shit, i hope he ain't coming over here' look. Man oh man i hate these bitches, cock blocking their friend coz a nigga ain't approached they ugly ass. And unless you're 6'4, a perfect 10 and appear to be guaping, you ain't winning them over any time soon. But anyway, i tried not to let it fuck up my steez so i went over there anyway. I asked her to dance, she said yeah and we danced for like a solid hour. No lie, the whole time her fucking friend were giving me some disguisting look the whole time, if they weren't busy laughing. Come to think of it, those are the times you need a wingman to distract these bitches. Unfortunately my boys were pros and by then were working on their own bitches. Near the end of the night i asked for her number and if she wanted to go out sometime and she said yeah. She even gave me a little kiss goodbye. As soon as i left her, her friends ran over to her like she was a Chilean who just got out the mine.

So a couple days after, i text her. I was like 'Hey, it's ____. I met you the other day at ____'s party'. She replied and said she doesn't remember me. I cried. Then she started telling people that she did it cause she felt sorry for me. I cried more. I'm sure her friends said some shit about me to make her say this stuff.

That ruined my confident for very a long time. The most fucked up part was that i knew she liked me! Actually nah, the worst part about it is that she's really winning now and her parents are rich as fuck.
You just described every black girl in London b

Why these chicks think they deserve Denzel X Will Smith X Every NBA player is beyond me. Meanwhile they're working in Primark.
September 8, 2013 @ 09:18 PM
frankieBRKLYN

suspended

Post: 1255

Join Date: Apr 2012

Appreciate the honesty in here, I can relate to some of the posts in here (except for that dildo rape one). 
September 8, 2013 @ 09:23 PM
It's Only Hype

Post: 5706

Join Date: Jan 2008

Apparently every other person on HB has shit themselves lol
September 8, 2013 @ 10:17 PM
paulywalnuts

Post: 3183

Join Date: Nov 2011

Location: Philadelphia

i shit myself during a basketball game once, i think i was in 5th grade.  wasn't really an L though because no one knew.  i just remember walking home with a fucking load in my pants, it was disgusting as hell.  

i dont have any other huge L's really...i mean, you be the judge...senior year i asked a girl to prom that went to another school...she had a boyfriend and told me last minute she couldn't go...like day before or day of, i don't really remember...i was moping around, feeling bad for myself like a little bitch, soaking it all up, like it was the worst fucking thing of all time...in all my sorrows, word spread around my friends, and i was so fucking ashamed, but there was 2 smoking hot girls that didn't have dates either, and word got back to me that either one of them would have gone with me...turns out they both thought i was cute and they were ready to swoop in on the rebound, for ME!  the first girl was a skinny asian girl with a killer body, the second was a white girl, really skinny but she had a ridiculous ass...i ended up sleeping with her a few years later...but i was too embarrassed to accept either of their offers to be my date to prom...so i ended up going alone, being the awkward single guy...telling my sob story to other guys dates while they weren't around and being a total downer.  

i master bait from time to time///wtb supreme/rust-oleum


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