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June 10, 2013 @ 08:57 PM
NapoleonComplex

Post: 2889

Join Date: Nov 2011

Location: Eastside Westside Ge...




Everybody thought my Hitler costume was hilarious last halloween. Until they found 3 jews dead in the shower. 

Why dont muslim women talk during sex?
they no better than to talk to strangers

Whats the difference between jesus and a picture of jesus? 
It only takes one nail to hang a picture of jesus

Why did Jesus stop playing hockey? 
He kept getting nailed to the boards

Why would jesus make a great male pornstar?
He was hung like this (hold out arms like crucifixion)

How do you make instant easter?
Two boards and a jew

 

Why do jews have big noses?
because the air is free

Perfect Catch 22 for a Jew?
Free Ham

Why did the jews wander in the desert for 40 years?
someone dropped a shekel

Why do jewish women only sleep with circumcised men?
They want 20% off of everything

How was copper wire invented?
A long long time ago, two jews grabbed the same penny

Hitler walks up to the Pearly Gates and says to St Peter, "I'd like to come in."
St Peter: "Not likely!"
Hitler: I've repented and I've given back all the gold and treasures that I stole from the Jews, and I'm really sorry."
At that point, Jesus walks up and asks what's going on.
St Peter: "It's Hitler here, he wants to come in."
Jesus: "There's no way"
Hitler: "No, it's true! To prove it, I've got a six foot solid gold cross I can't find the owner of. I could give that to you."
Now Jesus was partial to crosses, so he went to see God.
Jesus: "Hey Dad, I've got Hitler outside and he wants to come in now he's repented."
God: "Tell him to get lost!"
Jesus: "But Dad, he's given back all the gold that he stole from the Jews - except for a six foot, solid gold cross he can't find the owner for. He says I can have it."
God: "And what do you want with a solid gold cross? You couldn't even carry a fuckin' wooden one!"



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June 10, 2013 @ 09:02 PM
AD MCMXCVII

Post: 936

Join Date: Mar 2012

Racism ain't cool breh or funny 
June 10, 2013 @ 09:06 PM
NapoleonComplex

Post: 2889

Join Date: Nov 2011

Location: Eastside Westside Ge...

Things Athiests can do in Church

Going through all the hymnals, mark song 666

Find an empty seat, and ask the person next to it: "Is this seat SAVED?"

Toss around a giant beach ball before service, like at Grateful Dead concerts.

Hide copies of Hustler inside the pulpit. Point them out.

When the choir sings, roll your eyes and grumble: "Oh, christ! Are they gonna do another SONG?"

Twenty minutes into the service, look at your watch, stand up, and say: "Oh shit. This isn't the wedding!" Run out quickly.

 If there is a crying baby, go over and tell the mother: "IF YOU DON'T SHUT THAT GODDAMN THING UP SO HELP ME GOD I'LL KILL IT!!!"

At a church dinner, scoop up a forkful of mashed potatoes. Announce that you can see an image of jesus.

Turn in the bible to the ten commandments (Exodus 20: 3-17). Draw in asterisks and write exceptions at the bottom of the page.

Dip communion wafers in communion wine. Eat it and exaggerate on how good it is.

Snicker every time the preacher talks about someone being stoned, especially stephen.

Fake a possession.

Speak in tongues.

Write on the bathroom wall: "The eyes of the lord are upon you!!!

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June 10, 2013 @ 09:07 PM
NapoleonComplex

Post: 2889

Join Date: Nov 2011

Location: Eastside Westside Ge...

I will accept an 8 hour ban tops

Fuck Drewbacca

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June 10, 2013 @ 09:07 PM
rabbitman

Post: 1521

Join Date: Mar 2012

Location: north america

OP, what did the Jews ever do to you

be careful what you pretend to be

June 10, 2013 @ 09:07 PM
NapoleonComplex

Post: 2889

Join Date: Nov 2011

Location: Eastside Westside Ge...

Racism ain't cool breh or funny 
the idea of race was fabricated by a bunch of white biggots looking for an upperhand over peoples they deemed inferior. 
You can take it seriously but I will not. 

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June 10, 2013 @ 09:10 PM
NapoleonComplex

Post: 2889

Join Date: Nov 2011

Location: Eastside Westside Ge...


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June 10, 2013 @ 09:11 PM
NapoleonComplex

Post: 2889

Join Date: Nov 2011

Location: Eastside Westside Ge...


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June 10, 2013 @ 09:16 PM
bigshlong

Post: 98

Join Date: Jun 2012

June 10, 2013 @ 09:18 PM
NapoleonComplex

Post: 2889

Join Date: Nov 2011

Location: Eastside Westside Ge...

You hear about the two queer guys who went to London?
They were pissed to find out Big Ben was a clock.
 
70% of gays were born that.
30% were sucked into it

Why do Gay guys take aspirin with viagra?
Sex is a pain in the ass for them

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June 11, 2013 @ 02:14 AM
oneallah

Post: 3562

Join Date: Mar 2012

Location: in yo closet

i feel bad about these but fuck it, 

George Best is in hospital and the Doctor says to him, 'George, I have some good news and some bad news, which do you want first?'. 'Bad please' says George. 'Well' said the Doctor 'the bad news is you only have 1 hour left to live'. 'Fuck!' says George 'that is really bad news, what is the good news?'. 'It's happy hour' replies the Doctor.

Rescuers in Pakistan have recovered 10,000 bodies and tomorrow they are going into the second house.

Why did the Romans build straight roads?
So the pakis couldn't build corner shops

Why have Jews got big noses?
Because air is free
What does D.I.A.N.A stand for?

Died In A Nasty Accident

Q - Why wasn't Jesus born in Essex?

A - They couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.

Do you know what's unique about the human infant?



No matter which way you penetrate it, you achieve deep throat!


Q. Why wouldn't JFK make a good boxer?
A. The guy can't even take one shot to the head.

Q. Who was the best Jewish cook?
A. Hitler.

Q - How do you know if you have a high sperm count?

A - Your girlfriend has to chew

This one isn't really offensive, but I laughed.

Q - Why did George Micheal have chocolate stains on his T-shirt?

A - Cos he was careless with his Wispa.

Q-Why did hitler kill himself?

A-He got his gas bill

Q:Whats the worst thing about licking a bald pussy?

A:Taking the dirty nappy off b4 hand!!!


Theres a Russian, a Cuban, an Englishman and a Pakistani on a train, the Russian takes out a bottle of his best vodka, drinks a bit and throws the rest off the train and says 'theres plenty more of that where i come from'.
The others are impressed so the Cuban takes out one of the finest havana cigars, takes one puff and throws it off the train and says 'theres plenty more of those where i come from'.

Again everyone is rather impressed so the Englishman stands up and throws the Pakistani off the train.....




What is 18 inches long, stiff and makes women scream at night?


















I warned you




ANS: Crib death.

A black guy, a white guy, and a Mexican guy are walking through the desert, and they come across a lamp. They rub the lamp, and a genie comes out. He'll give 'em each a wish. Black guy goes first. He wants his people healthy and happy, back in Africa. Genie does it. Mexican guy goes second. He wants his people healthy and happy, back in Mexico. Genie does it. White guy's turn. "So all the niggers and spics are out of the country?" he asks. "Yeah," says the genie. The white guy says, "Well, I guess I'll have a Coke."

Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?

Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands!

Just be warned that these are horrible:

Q: How do you make a six-year-old girl cry twice?
A: Fuck her in the ass, then wipe your dick on her teddy bear.

Q: Why did Hitler cry when he got to heaven?
A: God gave him his gas bill.

Q: What's the best part about 6 year old girls?
A: After you're done with them, you can turn them over and use them as 6 year-old boys!

And finally:
Q: What's the difference between Santa Claus and a Jew?
A: Santa Claus goes down the chimney.

Told you they were horrible.
June 11, 2013 @ 02:19 AM
goldANDsacks

Post: 3185

Join Date: Jul 2009

Racism ain't cool breh or funny 
would you consider judaism a religion or a race?
June 11, 2013 @ 02:31 AM

Inactive

Whats the difference between jesus and a picture of jesus? 
It only takes one nail to hang a picture of jesus

Why do jews have big noses?
because the air is free

Perfect Catch 22 for a Jew?
Free Ham

Why do jewish women only sleep with circumcised men?
They want 20% off of everything

How was copper wire invented?
A long long time ago, two jews grabbed the same penny

Hitler walks up to the Pearly Gates and says to St Peter, "I'd like to come in."
St Peter: "Not likely!"
Hitler: I've repented and I've given back all the gold and treasures that I stole from the Jews, and I'm really sorry."
At that point, Jesus walks up and asks what's going on.
St Peter: "It's Hitler here, he wants to come in."
Jesus: "There's no way"
Hitler: "No, it's true! To prove it, I've got a six foot solid gold cross I can't find the owner of. I could give that to you."
Now Jesus was partial to crosses, so he went to see God.
Jesus: "Hey Dad, I've got Hitler outside and he wants to come in now he's repented."
God: "Tell him to get lost!"
Jesus: "But Dad, he's given back all the gold that he stole from the Jews - except for a six foot, solid gold cross he can't find the owner for. He says I can have it."
God: "And what do you want with a solid gold cross? You couldn't even carry a fuckin' wooden one!"
deze me me lol

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