November 7, 2012 @ 04:40 AM
macthesack

Post: 23

Join Date: Aug 2012

first off - she is from a small town and is VERY religious. she doesn't like kanye because she heard "jesus walks" and doesn't think its appropriate to mention his name over music. lol. so anyways, at work theres this old lady who walks around giving people condoms for donations to womens health. we always give her a dollar or two and she fills our pockets up with condoms.

i worked all night an didn't have a chance to come home, so im pretty tired at this point but the girl asks me out for a drink, and she's like "just before you go, i want you to know we are courting right now, and that does NOT involve anything touchy feely". i'm like ok, whatever, she's really hot (serious 9/10). so we have a good time, come home, her roomates watching Knights Tale with heath ledger. i sit with my girl and within 5 minutes i fall asleep. i wake up to a huge twitch, literally knock my girls hand off mine, look up, and ask her "hows your phone babygirl?".

her roomate is horrified and my girl (emma) starts laughing at me. shes like "if youre gonna go to sleep, you should get comfy and take off that jacket. her roomate is weirded out and is getting up to leave. it's pretty cold in her place and my jacket is comfy so i think ill just take all the shit out of my pockets and lie down so its not uncomfortable. as im emptying my pockets i make eye contact with her roomate and start apologizing. she is staring at me like i am insane, even more scared of me than before. emmas like "uhhhh wtf?? i think you should go". i forgot what was in my pockets and dropped two handfuls of condoms onto her coffee table while staring her roomate down.

anyways i left and havent talked to her since. should i text her?


EDIT: pic

November 7, 2012 @ 04:41 AM
macthesack

Post: 23

Join Date: Aug 2012

or call or just wait for her to contact me again?
November 7, 2012 @ 04:41 AM
daytona squared

Post: 1929

Join Date: Mar 2009

Location: seattle

stopped reading after first sentence, u must be desperate fucking with a retard like that lmaoooo

http://ilackdepth.tumblr.com/

November 7, 2012 @ 04:42 AM
jaded

moderator

Post: 8033

Join Date: Feb 2008

Location: ಠ______ಠ


i'm the best mayne, i deed it

November 7, 2012 @ 04:44 AM
macthesack

Post: 23

Join Date: Aug 2012

stopped reading after first sentence, u must be desperate fucking with a retard like that lmaoooo


she's easily 9/10
November 7, 2012 @ 04:45 AM
macthesack

Post: 23

Join Date: Aug 2012



real useful post you belong in the 'bage
November 7, 2012 @ 04:46 AM
Don Francisco

Post: 840

Join Date: Jun 2012

Come on nigga, you know this funny story is useless without pics of the girl.
November 7, 2012 @ 04:49 AM
macthesack

Post: 23

Join Date: Aug 2012

Come on nigga, you know this funny story is useless without pics of the girl.




model pics from facebook
November 7, 2012 @ 04:51 AM
popeyes

Post: 3162

Join Date: Dec 2010

have you tried raping her?

john lamone is a fag. boland is a fag.

November 7, 2012 @ 04:53 AM
macthesack

Post: 23

Join Date: Aug 2012

have you tried raping her?


?? your not worth the hair on a bees dick with comments like that
November 7, 2012 @ 04:59 AM
JACOB LACIDAR KOLA

Post: 3102

Join Date: May 2011

Location: Vashtie\'s Room

too much reading but i read the first sentence as well and she sounds dumb.

:)

November 7, 2012 @ 05:04 AM
Pantic

Post: 3897

Join Date: Jan 2010

Location: cold north

November 7, 2012 @ 05:09 AM
unemployed

Post: 1440

Join Date: Feb 2012

Location: CANADA EH!

THIS AINT NO 9/10 NIGGA + IS THAT U WITH THAT PHAGGOT ASS MASK ON UR FACE ??
November 7, 2012 @ 05:21 AM
goldANDsacks

Post: 3196

Join Date: Jul 2009

super religious girls are awesome. it seems you've already established some report with this girl, so now you gotta start leading conversations into how dark and troubled your are. tell her you have some life problems and can't figure out what anything means. you feel unfulfilled and need purpose. imply you're suicidal to some degree. she's gonna eat that up and push church on you real hard. fight against it. tell her you're disillusioned by church and religion in general. say that her pushiness is making you uneasy and you'd rather not talk to her. she'll feel sorry for you and pray for you.

then...

one random night call her. tell her you were almost in a horrible car accident. you swerved out at the last minute and the car behind got fucked up. you assume the driver died, and you want to talk to her about it. tell her that you've been thinking about all the religion and church stuff she had been preaching. tell her that you want her to show you how to live a purpose drive life. say that now you've seen death in the face you now appreciate every moment of life. spontaneously kiss her and say that she saved your life. then she should be down to fuck.
November 7, 2012 @ 05:25 AM
thatwhiteass

Post: 63

Join Date: Aug 2012

THIS AINT NO 9/10 NIGGA + IS THAT U WITH THAT PHAGGOT ASS MASK ON UR FACE ??


JUST LOOK AT THEM LEGS EASILY -3 POINTS BCUZ OF THAT!!
November 7, 2012 @ 08:19 AM
BuddyOmar

Post: 2921

Join Date: Jun 2011

Location: #OYYOYVille

first off - she is from a small town and is VERY religious. she doesn't like kanye because she heard "jesus walks" and doesn't think its appropriate to mention his name over music. lol. so anyways, at work theres this old lady who walks around giving people condoms for donations to womens health. we always give her a dollar or two and she fills our pockets up with condoms.

i worked all night an didn't have a chance to come home, so im pretty tired at this point but the girl asks me out for a drink, and she's like "just before you go, i want you to know we are courting right now, and that does NOT involve anything touchy feely". i'm like ok, whatever, she's really hot (serious 9/10). so we have a good time, come home, her roomates watching Knights Tale with heath ledger. i sit with my girl and within 5 minutes i fall asleep. i wake up to a huge twitch, literally knock my girls hand off mine, look up, and ask her "hows your phone babygirl?".

her roomate is horrified and my girl (emma) starts laughing at me. shes like "if youre gonna go to sleep, you should get comfy and take off that jacket. her roomate is weirded out and is getting up to leave. it's pretty cold in her place and my jacket is comfy so i think ill just take all the shit out of my pockets and lie down so its not uncomfortable. as im emptying my pockets i make eye contact with her roomate and start apologizing. she is staring at me like i am insane, even more scared of me than before. emmas like "uhhhh wtf?? i think you should go". i forgot what was in my pockets and dropped two handfuls of condoms onto her coffee table while staring her roomate down.

anyways i left and havent talked to her since. should i text her?


EDIT: pic



Damn. A girl you have a crush on his fucking a masked Stephen Baldwin?


http://www.youtube.com/user/TheBuddyOmar?feature=mhee |||||||||||||| Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/buddy_omar

November 7, 2012 @ 08:41 AM
kng_vln

Post: 426

Join Date: Nov 2010

Location: 415

two handfuls of condoms?
November 7, 2012 @ 10:16 AM
macthesack

Post: 23

Join Date: Aug 2012




Damn. A girl you have a crush on his fucking a masked Stephen Baldwin?



shut your bitch mouth
November 7, 2012 @ 11:53 AM
No Fuxx Given

Post: 602

Join Date: Nov 2011

Location: Canada

what happened to the pic homie

Fly on little wing

November 7, 2012 @ 08:36 PM
macthesack

Post: 23

Join Date: Aug 2012

what happened to the pic homie


no idea heres link

http://i.imgur.com/zgFCA.jpg
November 7, 2012 @ 08:40 PM
Black Donald Trump

Post: 1788

Join Date: Apr 2008

i think you messed it up. good story though. id say its worth it since you werent gonna get that butt anyway.
November 7, 2012 @ 08:46 PM
J_Got_The_Geass

Post: 198

Join Date: Sep 2012

Location: The Netherlands

Seriously thats funny as fuck, just explain it to her. She'll understand.
Goodluck!

Changed my name from Mojosodope to J_Got_The_Geass

November 7, 2012 @ 08:49 PM
Soul Rize

Post: 2187

Join Date: Dec 2010

Location: Up in the skys

what happened to the pic homie
This and
super religious girls are awesome. it seems you've already established some report with this girl, so now you gotta start leading conversations into how dark and troubled your are. tell her you have some life problems and can't figure out what anything means. you feel unfulfilled and need purpose. imply you're suicidal to some degree. she's gonna eat that up and push church on you real hard. fight against it. tell her you're disillusioned by church and religion in general. say that her pushiness is making you uneasy and you'd rather not talk to her. she'll feel sorry for you and pray for you.

then...

one random night call her. tell her you were almost in a horrible car accident. you swerved out at the last minute and the car behind got fucked up. you assume the driver died, and you want to talk to her about it. tell her that you've been thinking about all the religion and church stuff she had been preaching. tell her that you want her to show you how to live a purpose drive life. say that now you've seen death in the face you now appreciate every moment of life. spontaneously kiss her and say that she saved your life. then she should be down to fuck.
'
dat detail 10/10 situation story

Cmon get down with a real nigga wussup

November 7, 2012 @ 09:12 PM
kbos

Post: 2697

Join Date: May 2008

Location: boston

OP is so thirsty. lol handful of condoms youll never use.
November 8, 2012 @ 07:51 PM
macthesack

Post: 23

Join Date: Aug 2012

OP is so thirsty. lol handful of condoms youll never use.


i am 8.25/10 and have had sex with over 50 women
November 8, 2012 @ 08:15 PM
rbbnz

Post: 240

Join Date: Mar 2012

Location: BIRMINGHAM UK

OP is so thirsty. lol handful of condoms youll never use.


i am 8.25/10 and have had sex with over 50 women


this you?
November 8, 2012 @ 08:35 PM
kbos

Post: 2697

Join Date: May 2008

Location: boston

OP is so thirsty. lol handful of condoms youll never use.


i am 8.25/10 and have had sex with over 50 women


What kind of grown man rates himself out of 10?

What kind of hypebeast forum user logs on and makes posts like yours if theyve smashed 50 women?

If I give you the benefit of the doubt I could say you were in it for the difficult ass chase and wanted to share this story on HB for kicks. I wont rule it out, but the odds are against it and you can understand my initial conclusion.
November 8, 2012 @ 09:53 PM
kidsmooves

Post: 285

Join Date: Nov 2011

Location: US

Just text her something like "it was pretty funny when i emptyed my pocket and all those condoms came out, i bet ur roommate thinks im a total creep"
November 8, 2012 @ 10:05 PM
PowerCum

Post: 1646

Join Date: Jun 2009

OP is so thirsty. lol handful of condoms youll never use.


i am 8.25/10 and have had sex with over 50 women

lol
November 8, 2012 @ 11:15 PM
bananaoke

Post: 228

Join Date: May 2012

OP is so thirsty. lol handful of condoms youll never use.


i am 8.25/10 and have had sex with over 50 women


You are thirsty if you had sex with over 50 women, ya know?

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