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March 3, 2013 @ 05:31 AM
iketurnup

Post: 36

Join Date: Aug 2012

I consider myself a lucky individual
March 3, 2013 @ 07:54 AM
intellect

Post: 545

Join Date: May 2012

not really sexual but one time my sisters friend slept over at our house for a week for youth orchestra camp. We were very aware of a mutual crush, and she told my sister she liked me the day after the first time she met me, but we lived on opposite ends of the province with no cars, and she ended up getting a boyfriend, I'd go to sleepovers at another girl from youth orchestras house and we ended up sleeping on the floor next to each other in separate sleeping bags and it was absolutely agonizing to be so close yet so far.

When she stayed over she brought her own toothpaste and left it in the bathroom on the sink, I ejaculated in my hand and poured a few tablespoons and mixed it in with some qtip sticks, test squeezed out some toothpaste to make sure my semen wasn't noticable and left the tube right where it was. She is very hygienic and brushed her teeth three times a day when she was here, I actually got my mom to do a lot of baking, brownies, butter tarts etc. so she'd need to brush her teeth right after and I would feel warm inside all day knowing she had a constant connection to me. My dead sperm were resting on her teeth and tongue all day as she played beautiful music and laughed and smiled with her friends while my semen was being absorbed into her bloodstream and travelling through her clitoris, brain and heart. The dna that would lead to our beautiful child did not penetrate her ovum yet still passed through her body, the sperm she should one day gladly taste and giggle before swallowing as I hold my head in disbelief at the pleasure and I flip her over to return the favor as she shrieks in pleasure.
April 30, 2013 @ 06:07 AM
KiddCoast

Post: 750

Join Date: Feb 2013

Location: SouthBay, San Diego....

  Buuuuuuuuuump

Twitter: @KiddCoast

April 30, 2013 @ 08:26 AM
mrfunnni

Post: 234

Join Date: Feb 2010

Location: OC, CA

i farted loud as fuck as i came once
^you mother fucker.

haha fag

April 30, 2013 @ 06:14 PM
AndeNYC

Post: 109

Join Date: Jan 2013

This one time, in college late night, this girl told me she was expecting her period and nevertheless I ignored it so we're getting it. She leads me to the disabled toilets (more room obviously), taking our clothes. I'm bout to put it in right okay (standing pos) ? All of sudden she gets off. Then sits me down on the toilet. Where all of a sudden, she says "what's that? Is that blood?" Look down and there's fucking blood on my hands and dick. Rushed to the sink, washed it all off, got changed. And ran out of college. Couldn't eat cereal for the next month without straight cringing.


Avoided this bint for almost the rest of the year.

LMFAO oddly i have respect for this

pshhh don't be a bitch homie. If period stories count I got plenty, but I don't mind the redzone I put that condom to shield the dick from natures wrath and I go to work.

I got it, dripping like water.

April 30, 2013 @ 06:21 PM
AndeNYC

Post: 109

Join Date: Jan 2013

fucked a lazy bitch, like SUPER lazy. she'd give me dome and fucking just stop and chill down there i was like what? so we get into fucking and this bitch wasnt down to ride... Im like what? you come to my house and you aren't riding? whatever i'm not letting this pussy go to waste... so ya boy gets into it and starts thrusting through this bitch and she is just lying there like she's getting raped. i ignored it, and fucked her like she was somebody else... THEN THIS BITCH HAS THE NERVE TO GRAB HER PHONE AND START TEXTING HER BOYFRIEND WHILE IM FUCKING HER. i came all over her face and kicked her the fuck out before she could properly clean that shit up.



Lol you must not know how to give the D right
lol the super frail D bruh. you just exposed your pipe on the interwebs.

I got it, dripping like water.

April 30, 2013 @ 06:23 PM
AndeNYC

Post: 109

Join Date: Jan 2013

not really sexual but one time my sisters friend slept over at our house for a week for youth orchestra camp. We were very aware of a mutual crush, and she told my sister she liked me the day after the first time she met me, but we lived on opposite ends of the province with no cars, and she ended up getting a boyfriend, I'd go to sleepovers at another girl from youth orchestras house and we ended up sleeping on the floor next to each other in separate sleeping bags and it was absolutely agonizing to be so close yet so far.


When she stayed over she brought her own toothpaste and left it in the bathroom on the sink, I ejaculated in my hand and poured a few tablespoons and mixed it in with some qtip sticks, test squeezed out some toothpaste to make sure my semen wasn't noticable and left the tube right where it was. She is very hygienic and brushed her teeth three times a day when she was here, I actually got my mom to do a lot of baking, brownies, butter tarts etc. so she'd need to brush her teeth right after and I would feel warm inside all day knowing she had a constant connection to me. My dead sperm were resting on her teeth and tongue all day as she played beautiful music and laughed and smiled with her friends while my semen was being absorbed into her bloodstream and travelling through her clitoris, brain and heart. The dna that would lead to our beautiful child did not penetrate her ovum yet still passed through her body, the sperm she should one day gladly taste and giggle before swallowing as I hold my head in disbelief at the pleasure and I flip her over to return the favor as she shrieks in pleasure.
son. wtf. 

I got it, dripping like water.

April 30, 2013 @ 06:28 PM
AndeNYC

Post: 109

Join Date: Jan 2013

this happen 2 weeks ago.

I was at my girlfriends house in LA for a visit. I was relaxing on the leather sofa in the living when she came up to me and asked me if i wanted to fuck, of course i said yeah sure so she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. but 5 minutes later we heard the garage open so we got up and ran upstairs then i see her brother walking down the stairs and we passed he nudged my shaft(it was still hard). so i kicked him down the stairs and he tripped .after that homosexual encounter i got to her room i didn't feel like fucking cause her faggot brother touched my dick.
wow HB is the funniest forum ever. 

I got it, dripping like water.

June 29, 2013 @ 11:28 AM
AddysshrinktheD

Post: 5

Join Date: Jun 2013

Like 2 months ago me & my girl were smashing. It was one of those times where ur dick brings its fuckin A game and u feel like a porn star😎 so we were fucking & shit & I'm on top looking like a sculpted Greek god with my sweat making my body glisten due to the sun rays shining through the window☀ So I'm doin me, no worries, & she actually busts.....but when this bust happened, for some reason she starts crying:O I slow my shit down & ask wtf I did wrong and she's like "it just felt like too good".....I think for a second......did I fuck a girl to tears of pure happyness.......a hidden, small smirk comes to my face👹 I'm pumped tf up & ready to erupt like mt Helen🌋.....but guess wtf this bitch did..............(notice the disappointment in the dots)....she tells me........"I want to cuddle baby".......& the butch that I am...........I pull out....... Lie down......& fucking cuddled............fuck cuddling...
June 30, 2013 @ 12:33 AM
teefsweat

Post: 175

Join Date: Jun 2013

Like 2 months ago me & my girl were smashing. It was one of those times where ur dick brings its fuckin A game and u feel like a porn star😎 so we were fucking & shit & I'm on top looking like a sculpted Greek god with my sweat making my body glisten due to the sun rays shining through the window☀ So I'm doin me, no worries, & she actually busts.....but when this bust happened, for some reason she starts crying:O I slow my shit down & ask wtf I did wrong and she's like "it just felt like too good".....I think for a second......did I fuck a girl to tears of pure happyness.......a hidden, small smirk comes to my face👹 I'm pumped tf up & ready to erupt like mt Helen🌋.....but guess wtf this bitch did..............(notice the disappointment in the dots)....she tells me........"I want to cuddle baby".......& the butch that I am...........I pull out....... Lie down......& fucking cuddled............fuck cuddling...

Bruh don't even lie your worst sexual experience is getting that kid to suck off his brother man
June 30, 2013 @ 01:23 AM
teefsweat

Post: 175

Join Date: Jun 2013

nevermind wrong dude. you just killed your friend instead my bad
June 30, 2013 @ 03:41 AM
Bishop Don SpacePimp

Post: 2892

Join Date: Jun 2013

Location: Ether Mansion

I think I got blown by an asian ladyboy once.
Still no confirmation but my soul occasionally weaps and I know that's the reason.sad

I've been known to invoke......FEELINGS. #NoPromo #NoFearGang #AntiMuffinMovement

June 30, 2013 @ 05:11 AM
AmericanLegend

Post: 2517

Join Date: Jul 2012

Location: USA

@addysshrinktheD
She just peed on u bruh don't trip bitches been peed on me

taste the glamour

June 30, 2013 @ 12:56 PM
dmwalking

moderator

Post: 3547

Join Date: Aug 2007

Location: New England

Shanks story is still the best.

guy on some broke bus. Love, Sosa. "Don't feed the trolls" initiative coming soon. We can rebuild.

July 1, 2013 @ 04:58 AM
zerimar

Post: 162

Join Date: Sep 2012

nutted on my box logo, had to scrub for 8 hours
July 8, 2013 @ 09:22 AM
downbyone

Post: 219

Join Date: Mar 2012

Location: The Dirty.

Funniest thread ever ..

OF.M bangin on ya FM


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