My way of thinking is this. I dont want to live my life as a kid, going to school occasionaly hanging out with friends then proceeding in going off to college learning about stuff im acting like im interested in then proceed to take a job that i never will like and proceed to search for a bitch to marry me and in some kind of dream land make me fucking sandwitches and is hot and will fuck me alot. (Thats me hopin that last part) But ill prolly settle for some 6 and have a couple kids, never be able to do anything for myself exciting due to my fixed income and lack of success in the stock market and never be able to buy the things i wanted (possibly a nice car, a fucking basketball hoop idk) or go places i wanted (fucking dubai, fuckin canad idk) beacause of my restrained down responsibilities and boring ass hard ass life in the suburbs of the midwest or some shit. Oh yeah and all my friends are fuckin gone off and married and moved to some other location PROBABLY doin the same exact thing
This seems like the "American Doom?" (Not dream) Because i dont want to fucking live that life
I want to fucking live the life of celebrities that people talk about in their free time about how they went off to rehab because theyre life is more awesome than theirs. I just dont want myself to believe that i cant be one of those people. I dont want myself to believe that i CANT become a recording artist and make more money than the average american who WANTS to live the life that i dont want to. I want myself to believe that I can fucking live the life that I dream about some day. That doesnt mean it will just come to me overnight. I will have to work hard for it. And im working alright. Im working. Im sixteen years old and I have over ten songs finished sitting wanting to be finalized once i get those recording shit that I bought with my money off of tax returns (170$! :D). I will release mixtape on mixtape so people will hear my shit and bump it in they fuckin cars. I dont know if being whie is relavant at all or helps my cause but uh i just wanted to say that. Im very unconfident because im fuckin zitted up teen and I feel like people are shallow and wudnt want to listen to me. that was random. But im also getting the word "OPTIMISM" tatted on my forearm when im 18 because when i think of that word life is good for me. And when im oprtimistic i make good rap. Well ya i just thought id let you all know this i guess. Im venting and kina upset. (Its 3 AM ima go to bed now)
Heres the thing mang. Youre just realizing what everybody realizes when theyre around your age, aint no thang butta chicken wang. I know your feel mang, but im in college doing straight and narrow shit anyway, because at the end of the day the education comes in handy. Society has its wtf points, and expectations may seem shitty, but if you educate yourself you'll be better prepared for whatever comes your way. And yo real talk, im not aiming for fancy material shit, all I really want is a middle class lifestyle, and some dope cars along the way. Your confidence and happiness has to come from within yo, and that celeb lifestyle, I think thats probably appealing to your young mind but its probably fucking horrible dude, everybody always being fake with you, everybody with their hand out, everybody loves you but nobody loves you type of shit, every little thing you do being watched and criticized. It defenetly will fuck up your mind and create a false sense of importance, like a lot of celebs have. I'm sure its just as depressing as anything else. To truely live a unique fulfilling lifestyle you must accept yourself and whats going on around you for what it is, and you must accept life being hard as inevitable, even if its not a simple light switch operation you gotta try to appreciate what you have. If you can accomplish that you will have more freedom than most people.