True Story Bro vol. Derp moments

September 13, 2011 @ 15:48:01
Getting ripped to my eyelids for the first time, thinking a cigarette carton is a juicebox and trying to find the straw with my tongue while watching the movie "Kids"

Always Hungry

September 13, 2011 @ 15:51:01
deposited a dollar in an atm machine..
September 13, 2011 @ 15:54:39
Sparked a blunt, then put it out and put it in the microwave for dat smoothness. Shit caught on fire.
September 13, 2011 @ 17:07:05
and my favorite



I'd die.
September 13, 2011 @ 17:21:58
and my favorite


haha yessssssssssssss
September 13, 2011 @ 22:05:34
raising your hand to make a comment about the professor's lecture in class. ♥♥♥♥♥ continues to ramble on for about 20 minutes so naturally you dismiss whatever you were going to say and drifting off into your own thoughts. after said 20 minutes he then looks back at you like "yes joey, please tell the class what you had to say earlier." a lecture hall of 40 people including that cute spanish girl you'd been making eye contact with for the past few minutes turns around to listen but of course you're not even sure what subject he's talking about again let alone the epiphany you came to like half an hour ago. you tell him "no never mind" but he insist. finally rather than taking the lesser L and staying silent, you try to explaining anyways.... then the brain fart turns to verbal diarrhea.... next thing you know it's dead silent and everybody's still staring at you



Smashing Dudes in my Peacoat @whereisthechill instagrm: Josephsmordernlife

September 14, 2011 @ 18:40:21
raising your hand to make a comment about the professor's lecture in class. ♥♥♥♥♥ continues to ramble on for about 20 minutes so naturally you dismiss whatever you were going to say and drifting off into your own thoughts. after said 20 minutes he then looks back at you like "yes joey, please tell the class what you had to say earlier." a lecture hall of 40 people including that cute spanish girl you'd been making eye contact with for the past few minutes turns around to listen but of course you're not even sure what subject he's talking about again let alone the epiphany you came to like half an hour ago. you tell him "no never mind" but he insist. finally rather than taking the lesser L and staying silent, you try to explaining anyways.... then the brain fart turns to verbal diarrhea.... next thing you know it's dead silent and everybody's still staring at you



hate it when profs do this..
September 14, 2011 @ 20:57:14
^ and ...

Sparked a blunt, then put it out and put it in the microwave for dat smoothness. Shit caught on fire.


*DEAD*

does putting a blunt in the microwave make it smooth? LOL

El Chino : id let claire fuck me with a strap on while im on poppers

September 15, 2011 @ 15:53:17
Drowsy yesterday morning and starting putting juice into my bowl instead of milk :|
September 15, 2011 @ 16:04:16
^ and ...

*DEAD*

does putting a blunt in the microwave make it smooth? LOL


yea. No more than 10 secs.
September 15, 2011 @ 16:12:02
came back to the dorm last night fapped to some aurora jolie before knocking out, shut the macbook close. today sitting in school coffee shop i open it up again and right after i type in the password up pops out full screen ms. jolie with kids all over her face. luckily i had my back to the wall and was able to x out of the screen before anyone seen me. or atleast i don't think they did


Smashing Dudes in my Peacoat @whereisthechill instagrm: Josephsmordernlife

September 15, 2011 @ 16:24:34
Putting fabric softer in instead of detergent.
September 15, 2011 @ 18:30:59
putting the milk away in the cabinets instead of the fridge in the morning
accidentally trying to open the identical car you parked close to


HAHAHA fuck I did this once and my mom looked at me like

burr

September 15, 2011 @ 22:09:27
came back to the dorm last night fapped to some aurora jolie before knocking out, shut the macbook close. today sitting in school coffee shop i open it up again and right after i type in the password up pops out full screen ms. jolie with kids all over her face. luckily i had my back to the wall and was able to x out of the screen before anyone seen me. or atleast i don't think they did



this would be fucking horrible/hilarious if you had the sound on full blast
September 16, 2011 @ 00:12:02

Smashing Dudes in my Peacoat @whereisthechill instagrm: Josephsmordernlife

September 17, 2011 @ 01:33:56
just earlier... i looked for milk in the refrigerator..

i tried to copy and paste a link into a chat but was wondering why it wasnt working and it was copying and pasting on the address bar.

and i forgot i had to go pee really badly. wtf. im high -___-

El Chino : id let claire fuck me with a strap on while im on poppers

September 30, 2011 @ 13:58:37
trying to hand the cashier money before you even order anything

Smashing Dudes in my Peacoat @whereisthechill instagrm: Josephsmordernlife

September 30, 2011 @ 14:55:41
^ lol

El Chino : id let claire fuck me with a strap on while im on poppers

September 30, 2011 @ 20:46:18
trying to hand the cashier money before you even order anything


smokeyface

two of em x hs shit

September 30, 2011 @ 23:27:12
cant find glass of water
get a new glass of water,
then immediately find original glass of water
October 01, 2011 @ 04:01:17
cant find glass of water
get a new glass of water,
then immediately find original glass of water


happens daily
October 01, 2011 @ 10:23:39
this ♥♥♥♥♥ jozeph is hilarious
October 01, 2011 @ 10:31:10
puttin tampico in ya cereal instead of milk

walking halfway through school and when you get to class you find out ya backpack was wide open and no one bothered to tell you
February 18, 2012 @ 19:34:40
Doing a power point presentation in psych class plug the flash drive in, realize your presentation is right next to your porn folder click out and realize the whole thing was being shown over the projector in front of the whole lecture hall


Smashing Dudes in my Peacoat @whereisthechill instagrm: Josephsmordernlife

February 19, 2012 @ 02:55:11
when i'm tired i dress myself with my eyes close with no lites and just leave the house with mixed matched backwards shit to lazy to care. ;
when i'm tried as fuck and i go to my buss top i sleep on the concrete of someone's house and nap and hope someoen wakes me. no humam woke me. a stray dog woke me licking my feet or some shit... it was 12 in the afternoon. good nap doe.

Cmon get down with a real nigga wussup

February 19, 2012 @ 17:31:13
freshman year i'd always come up to hug my girlfriend from behind cause she loved that shit. Then one day i found out she had a body double on campus after attempting the from behind hug and nearly having some random girl scream rape in the dining hall


Smashing Dudes in my Peacoat @whereisthechill instagrm: Josephsmordernlife

February 19, 2012 @ 19:35:26
Originally posted by Inactive User

story of my life.. i can fuck the shit outta you, but when were finished i cant see you naked? shits retarded

SATIRE GANG OR MOW YOUR LAWN FOR FREE

This post is hidden due to user account is no longer active or improper post content.

February 19, 2012 @ 21:27:46
Accidently put motor oil in my antifreeze/coolant tank like a dumb ass. Had to flush that bitch after with a shit ton of water and was late to work...

Rebels vs. Renegades ---- www.rebelsvsrenegades.com ---- Turning Dreams Into Reality. One Broken Window at a Time.

February 19, 2012 @ 22:25:50
Accidently put motor oil in my antifreeze/coolant tank like a dumb ass. Had to flush that bitch after with a shit ton of water and was late to work...


ouch
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