Hop on Pitchfork's dick and talk about all the new bands getting a buzz, and about how you've heard about them before they got big.
Try to be ironic in as many situations as possible, even though you're not doing it right most of the time.
Size down on all of your clothing.
Get some new kind of weird piercing (especially if you're a girl), because getting gauges is overrated now.
Watch low budget films that no one's ever heard about. If it's foreign, you get bonus points.
Even though you look like you're broke as fuck, you still come off like you're better than everyone.