The Official Relationship, Dating, or Talking Problems/Questions Thread

August 01, 2011 @ 19:15:26 PM
Post: 701
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: 805/509
Seems like you're very jealous. Since jealousy is an emotion, you can't controll it with logical thinking. What you should do is take a look at what causes this emotion. Are you insecure? Do you think you love her more than she does? do you think she will cheat when you're not around?
This kind of behaviour is very bad for relationships and i don't think your girl is very happy, so if you continue, she eventually will cheat or break up. Give her some room to breathe dude.


I guess i just fear karma i cheated on her before, and now that i think of it i am pretty insecuree
fuuuckkk i needa get my shit together
August 01, 2011 @ 19:23:15 PM
Post: 86
Join Date: Jan 2011
Pantic,

I agree that the game should be decreased in LTR's. However, if you are in a serious relationship, there is absolutely no way to maintain the state in which both parties are absolutely content. One person holds most, if not all the power. In the case mentioned above, the girl is holding the cards. In this situation, you have to take control of the power before it ruins your relationship. The reason that you develop the jealous emotions and all of these female traits is because men weren't designed for that type of behavior. However, we can maintain homeostasis if you keep your confidence high and consistently demonstrate your higher value than her (not just other males/competition).
August 01, 2011 @ 19:23:23 PM
Post: 1986
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Shaolin
ayo b-low_brown,

you a trill dood. So trill in fact i have completed the mission stated above. However, i realize the trillness of said action would lead you to believe it is unattainable.

Therefore, let me de-trillize a solution for you.

First, a woman's power is in the pussy. A man's power is relinquished once it is established that the pussy is in demand (especially wanted by an individual). Therefore, if your girl is talking to other guys, do not get jealous or mad. It is human nature. They crave attention, especially unattainable or "forbidden" attention. I would advise an individual in this predicament to desensitize himself to the situation and not "put the pussy on a pedestal". Treat the girl exactly how she wants to be treated and not how she "should". Game other girls and keep your perceived value high. You can do this by creating a absolute ideal that you do not need her and she is replaceable. Once your girl feels this, and realizes that you are of "higher value" than herself, she will be content. That's not saying she won't be promiscuous and talk to other guys, but she will certainly think twice about doing so.

Summary: Keep the pussy off a pedestal

remain trill.


smokeyfacesmokeyfacesmokeyface

burr

August 01, 2011 @ 19:40:25 PM
Post: 33
Join Date: Jul 2009
aTTag, you definitely know your shit and everything is on point, however you seem to be a little on the "dark side" of the game. No hate tho smokeyface
August 01, 2011 @ 20:19:04 PM
Post: 3578
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: cold north
Pantic,

I agree that the game should be decreased in LTR's. However, if you are in a serious relationship, there is absolutely no way to maintain the state in which both parties are absolutely content. One person holds most, if not all the power. In the case mentioned above, the girl is holding the cards. In this situation, you have to take control of the power before it ruins your relationship. The reason that you develop the jealous emotions and all of these female traits is because men weren't designed for that type of behavior. However, we can maintain homeostasis if you keep your confidence high and consistently demonstrate your higher value than her (not just other males/competition).


I don't know man, stuff like being equal in the relationship powerwise and everything else wise is important but it's also very common sense to work out things like that. I just completely "forgot" about the game when i started this, making a math of it would ruin the romance for me personally.
August 02, 2011 @ 01:26:13 AM
Post: 27
Join Date: Feb 2008
I lost. The girl that I was pursuing when I broke things off with the other girl hit me "we should just be friends, I like you, but I always view you as a friend"?). Not only did I break off a relationship that could have led to more(If it wasn't for her father, I would have married her) only to be led on by another woman. Shit, I can't even call her a woman, they be acting like little girls now a days. Lesson learned.
August 02, 2011 @ 02:51:51 AM
Post: 1210
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: santa ana zoo
lmao ese simp
August 02, 2011 @ 08:05:08 AM
Post: 3578
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: cold north
I lost. The girl that I was pursuing when I broke things off with the other girl hit me "we should just be friends, I like you, but I always view you as a friend"?). Not only did I break off a relationship that could have led to more(If it wasn't for her father, I would have married her) only to be led on by another woman. Shit, I can't even call her a woman, they be acting like little girls now a days. Lesson learned.


That's what i call giving up easy... What the fuck does it matter if she views you as a friend right now? Shit can be changed, no problem. Just keep contact with her but stop being the bitch you are (im assuming this because of your way of explaining abd because only guys who act way too nice get friend zoned) and start making her think you are something worth chasing. Talk to her but other girls too, and keep sending mixed signals. She won't stop thinking about you if you can do that.
August 02, 2011 @ 09:57:42 AM
Post: 341
Join Date: May 2010
Theres this hot bitch that a year ago i wanted to date, but it didnt happen, now a year later, im only really interested in fucking her, but she hesitant cus i think, she thinks, i want a relationship. I cnt be like; nahhhh bitch i jus wanna fuck you, cus i think she dont wanna be treated like an object, AKA she wants to be an object, but doesnt wanted to be treated like one. I dont know what the fuck todo.
August 02, 2011 @ 15:57:42 PM
Post: 792
Join Date: Mar 2010
Theres this hot bitch that a year ago i wanted to date, but it didnt happen, now a year later, im only really interested in fucking her, but she hesitant cus i think, she thinks, i want a relationship. I cnt be like; nahhhh bitch i jus wanna fuck you, cus i think she dont wanna be treated like an object, AKA she wants to be an object, but doesnt wanted to be treated like one. I dont know what the fuck todo.


Need more details like who is she to you, age, etc...before we can move foward.

Well, anyway, sounds like this girl doesn't want a simp ass ♥♥♥♥♥. So, don't act like a simp around her. Show her that you are interested, but in a subtle way, also let her know that you are not looking for a commitment. Instead of asking her to the movies and dinner, just ask her to go to a bar or club (with some other friends) where it doesn't have to be awkward. Then after a few drinks, tell her that she looks sexy in whatever that she's wearing, flirt some more and just go on from there.

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August 02, 2011 @ 17:39:37 PM
Post: 27
Join Date: Feb 2008
That's what i call giving up easy... What the fuck does it matter if she views you as a friend right now? Shit can be changed, no problem. Just keep contact with her but stop being the bitch you are (im assuming this because of your way of explaining abd because only guys who act way too nice get friend zoned) and start making her think you are something worth chasing. Talk to her but other girls too, and keep sending mixed signals. She won't stop thinking about you if you can do that.


Done and Done smokeyface
August 03, 2011 @ 12:44:29 PM
Post: 3582
Join Date: Dec 2006
I guess i just fear karma i cheated on her before, and now that i think of it i am pretty insecuree
fuuuckkk i needa get my shit together


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66rY3wHSneA


Im going to be real with you guys i been in 3 serious relationship and they were all atleast 4 or 4+ years. And i hate to say it buy i kinda cheated on all of them by talking to another girl. After i realized my wrong doings i met me gf(ex) and with her i wanted to be with only her. She was gorgeous and i knew i wanted to spend the rest of my like with her. But during our relationship some guy tried getting at her and flirting with her and eventually she gave in and started flirting with him back. So Throughout our whole 1 year together we been having problems because of "that guy". It go so bad that the last 2 months we would get into an argument over the little things and it would blow up into big things. We would get to the point of where we was arguing almost everyday or every other day. I tried to hold on to what feelings i had left for her but i lost it when she crossed the line. The last week before we broke it off we got into it and i told her ass to move out. She stopped talking to that dude who caused our problems for a while now. She dropped him because she realized how hurt i was but anyways she added him back on FB and MSG him asking him if she can stay at his place with him for a week and what not. I saw that shit because she forgot to log off her fb when i got on. But once i saw that... my love for here instantly went away. I was calm about it because if i confronted her we will argue and it will get nasty again. So yeah i got tired of being stressed out by the fights so i gave up and called it quits. I was contemplating for a whole month on if i should wait to call it off and see if things will get better but after that it didnt so i broke it off. It was a hard decision to do but it was one of those things you had no choice to do because if not you are going to continue to hurt yourself.


So yeah i believe in Karma. It all came back for me with her... the one that i wanted to marry and have kids with. Things happen and no matter what i did and how hard i tried to prevent us from falling apart we still fell apart. So yeah you nigs out there playing your current gf or whatever it will come back on you. When THAT perfect girl you finally meet and you finally realized that you want to spend the rest of your life with just be prepared. Karma is waiting for you.
August 03, 2011 @ 13:44:21 PM
Post: 724
Join Date: May 2007
Location: NYC
Yea not giving a shit really works. Just be yourself and let her be herself.

@QuattroRide

August 05, 2011 @ 09:44:19 AM
Post: 532
Join Date: Dec 2008
long distance relationships? whats yall take on this? I met this girl a couple of times but we just recently started talking and calling each other, all that shit. shes only one state away. is it worth it?
August 05, 2011 @ 12:35:56 PM
Post: 1459
Join Date: Oct 2009
Hell no imo
August 05, 2011 @ 12:40:01 PM
Post: 730
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Ann Arbor
Originally posted by Inactive User
Hell no imo


.............................
August 05, 2011 @ 12:46:28 PM
Post: 2934
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: MN
helll no dude. anything beyond like an hour drive to me is like fuck it
August 05, 2011 @ 13:02:31 PM
Post: 150
Join Date: Sep 2009
Originally posted by Inactive User
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66rY3wHSneA

Im going to be real with you guys i been in 3 serious relationship and they were all atleast 4 or 4+ years. And i hate to say it buy i kinda cheated on all of them by talking to another girl. After i realized my wrong doings i met me gf(ex) and with her i wanted to be with only her. She was gorgeous and i knew i wanted to spend the rest of my like with her. But during our relationship some guy tried getting at her and flirting with her and eventually she gave in and started flirting with him back. So Throughout our whole 1 year together we been having problems because of "that guy". It go so bad that the last 2 months we would get into an argument over the little things and it would blow up into big things. We would get to the point of where we was arguing almost everyday or every other day. I tried to hold on to what feelings i had left for her but i lost it when she crossed the line. The last week before we broke it off we got into it and i told her ass to move out. She stopped talking to that dude who caused our problems for a while now. She dropped him because she realized how hurt i was but anyways she added him back on FB and MSG him asking him if she can stay at his place with him for a week and what not. I saw that shit because she forgot to log off her fb when i got on. But once i saw that... my love for here instantly went away. I was calm about it because if i confronted her we will argue and it will get nasty again. So yeah i got tired of being stressed out by the fights so i gave up and called it quits. I was contemplating for a whole month on if i should wait to call it off and see if things will get better but after that it didnt so i broke it off. It was a hard decision to do but it was one of those things you had no choice to do because if not you are going to continue to hurt yourself.

So yeah i believe in Karma. It all came back for me with her... the one that i wanted to marry and have kids with. Things happen and no matter what i did and how hard i tried to prevent us from falling apart we still fell apart. So yeah you nigs out there playing your current gf or whatever it will come back on you. When THAT perfect girl you finally meet and you finally realized that you want to spend the rest of your life with just be prepared. Karma is waiting for you.


I swear to god that almost word for word that is exactly what happened with me and my girl this week. only a few differences. It started a regular relationship and then it became long distance when i moved back to the states. But "that guy", got in the picture and fucked it all up. It was never real evidence of her cheating but all the signs you saw i saw and i didnt want to be hurt anymore.

Nonetheless karma is a bitch. I had cheated on her a trillion times and it came back to me. If you build a solid relationship from the beggining with honesty of everything all the time, and you are faithful, i think it can go great. Im not sure though because ive never been honest or faithful, its just something i have seen in relationships that work, and a change i know i will make in my future relationships. Its crazy how similar our situations were.
August 05, 2011 @ 15:42:40 PM
Post: 1986
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Shaolin
Karma or human nature?

burr

August 05, 2011 @ 16:03:02 PM
Post: 3582
Join Date: Dec 2006
^^ I think both.

I swear to god that almost word for word that is exactly what happened with me and my girl this week. only a few differences. It started a regular relationship and then it became long distance when i moved back to the states. But "that guy", got in the picture and fucked it all up. It was never real evidence of her cheating but all the signs you saw i saw and i didnt want to be hurt anymore.

Nonetheless karma is a bitch. I had cheated on her a trillion times and it came back to me. If you build a solid relationship from the beggining with honesty of everything all the time, and you are faithful, i think it can go great. Im not sure though because ive never been honest or faithful, its just something i have seen in relationships that work, and a change i know i will make in my future relationships. Its crazy how similar our situations were.


I there are TONS of people who went thru what we did and yes its crazy how everything plays out the same in different lives. But yeah if you cheated on your girl then it will come back and fuck you up. Just like you said and now you realized your wrong doing you just have to change. Unless you want to continue to go thru the same thing over and over. Me and my ex now as of yesterday are talking again. I wrote her a letter over the week and it finally hit her and made her realize allot of the wrongs. Pretty much we are just starting over from step one. Hope everything goes good for you tho.
August 05, 2011 @ 16:03:56 PM
Post: 91
Join Date: Jun 2011
I've gotten myself in a stupid situation. A friend of mine's been getting close with this girl, and he wanted me to come hang out with her because she was bringing a friend. He wanted me to go because I don't exactly get a whole lot of chances with girls and for a whole lot of other irrelevant reasons.

Anyway, me and him get there, and find them. There's some other girl there. Why she came, I don't know, but I'm guessing the friend of girl who's friends with my friend didn't want that forced and apparent pairing, or they both (the two girls) just wanted her to come hang out too. Whatever. Maybe to keep this not so confusing I'll assign letters: A = My friend's friend B = The girl who I was meant to hang out with, and C = The girl who me and my friend didn't know was going to be there.

Ok so we meet them. I find out that B is extemely attractive, I immediately initiate my do-not-speak-if-not-spoken-to-do-not-want-to-be-here-i-have-nothing-to-say mode out of habit. I find it extremely difficult to talk to girls, especially in a situation like this, where there's a whole lot of people. (3's a lot for me). Anyway we introduce each other. My friend introduces me, A introduces B and C, and we start doing stuff. It's a mall, so we start looking at shit (malls=not exactly my thing). After about 20 minutes, they begin to notice how quiet I am. Like I said, I only speak when spoken to. That's not uncommon for me in any situation, but when put in something like this, it gets abit extreme. I can already tell Girl C despises my presence and wishes I wasn't there, why, I don't know. But both me and my friend agreed she wasn't exactly our favourite person, so I don't mind bothering her. A and B seem nice, I enjoy their being there, even though I'm not letting it on. I should point out I'm not letting off a "I hate you" vibe, more like a "I'm bored and wish I wasn't dragged into this" kind of thing.

The whole time I rarely speak, except when my friend told them I punched a kid, which I didn't, but broke character and laughed, and for a second dropped the whole pursed-lips act. Anyway, one of the reasons my friend brought me was to not cockblock him. So sometimes he'll spend some time alone in stores with A, and B and C will go talk, thus leaving me to walk alone. This I like, because I can get away from the awkwardness, plus my comfort zone IS being alone. Ok, so we were there 3 and a half hours, and by the end of it I did feel abit more comfortable with A and B. C's still a bitch

Anyway, we're all sitting on this couch in a store (well, they are, me and my friend are standing) because the three of them had some friend who was there waiting to something in that store. Whatever. So, I find out they're planning to stay for a long time, and I'm kind of bored. Like I said, malls aren't my thing. I was pretty tired because I had gotten up early and spent the entire morning lugging gear around and putting on a kick-ass show OH SHIT! That reminds me. My buddy who was with me at the mall came with me to this show, and mentioned it to them because B's apparently really into guitar. Plus I was really hungry, and didn't feel like eating shitty mall food. So me and my friend leave the four of them in that store, and go find food, which is when I realize they had no intention of leaving anytime soon. So I tell him I'm gone and hop on a bus.

I get back home, and soon after my friend calls me and tells me some stuff was said. He had grabbed some food and went back to them and told them I had left. C laughed and said good, like a biotch. A gave a little "aww" but in a totally neutral manner. And B, well B "came off as the most sincere" according to him. She awwed, and said she really wanted to talk to me, that I was kind of cute, and wanted to talk about guitars and stuff. Plus she wanted me to add her on FB, but my friend told her I deleted mine

Anyway, I wanted to know could this be legitimate? Is it just a "I want what I can't have" thing because I displayed no interest in her, or what? I just need some thoughts, because they want to hang out again soon with just the four of us (me, my friend, A, and wanted to be slightly more prepared for what I'm getting myself into. Sorry for the long post.
August 05, 2011 @ 16:20:22 PM
Post: 3578
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: cold north
Long ass post, only read start and beginning.

Get her number if you dont have facebook, she said she wanted to talk more to you so just talk to her. She might be interrested in you, but she sure as hell isn't attracted to you yet. So start building dat attraction if you really care.
August 05, 2011 @ 17:24:40 PM
Post: 6112
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Lurking
^Agreed. Don't be so antisocial or you'll never really get the girl you want. I'm sure she was into you dog, but girls ALWAYS want the guy to make the first move. I kick myself because I've had situations where I knew I was in but failed because I bitched out of talking to her.

Show confidence, bitches don't like scared little insecure ♥♥♥♥♥s. I say you have a legit chance if you man up and get them digits. it helps to be funny also.
August 06, 2011 @ 12:07:44 PM
Post: 150
Join Date: Sep 2009
Originally posted by Inactive User
^^ I think both.

I there are TONS of people who went thru what we did and yes its crazy how everything plays out the same in different lives. But yeah if you cheated on your girl then it will come back and fuck you up. Just like you said and now you realized your wrong doing you just have to change. Unless you want to continue to go thru the same thing over and over. Me and my ex now as of yesterday are talking again. I wrote her a letter over the week and it finally hit her and made her realize allot of the wrongs. Pretty much we are just starting over from step one. Hope everything goes good for you tho.


Yeah bro I hope it works out for you aswell. But for me I think its unrepairable. I have trust issues from previous relationships and family issues which led me to not trust much in my ex. But she said she would try and help.me but this dude came in and ducked it up. Keep in mind I made her break up with her boyfriend to get with me. With that sailing my opinion her behavior can be a pattern. Talking to.other dudes and if the around.better than her current then shell give them a try. I don't want that to happen to me just how I made her do it. Plus she hid stuff from.me about him. So she could be hiding actual things they've done. Regardless I know its my.issues but if the foto I'm with ain't making.it better for me you know like making it easy for me to trust her. Then Im with the wrong girl. I just gotta move on and find the.one. that will help me and make me feel secure. 20 year old girls and long distance relationships........hard to have genuine loyalty and trust.

Ps. Sorry I'm doing this with my phone and that's why there's so many periods. The dot is close to the letters.
August 06, 2011 @ 13:51:04 PM
Post: 385
Join Date: Jan 2009
Originally posted by Inactive User
you a virgin bro?


Not anymore smokeyface ..Thanks Y'all lol
August 06, 2011 @ 14:11:35 PM
Post: 811
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Chi
@hypebeasted- tell your friend to invite A amd B to a show of yours and then talk to her after
August 06, 2011 @ 16:21:50 PM
Post: 2348
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Bronx, New York / Los Angeles, CA
Great thread. Just read a lot of this shit, and damn I could've used it for the relationship I was in this past year in college. Anyways now I know where to come, keep em comin' ma ♥♥♥♥♥s
August 06, 2011 @ 16:27:17 PM
Post: 2348
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Bronx, New York / Los Angeles, CA
@hypebeasted i like your honesty nohomo. most dudes on HB try to act hard as fuk all the time, gets you nowhere.

foreal though, seems like the girl was interested in getting to know you. So when/if you hang out you gotta drop the introverted deal. I know it's cliche but you gotta 'be yourself', and what I mean is act like you would if you were around your homeboy. I'm trying to say that you need to let your personality show (ex: interest in guitars, TV shows,fashion, etc..) without trying too hard or being obnoxious. You can let her do most of the talking if you like, but don't make it awkward by silencing yourself.

if you ARE yourself (and it isn't as easy as it sounds) then you may find you have a lot in common with this girl and end up bagging a cute girl and a daily smashsmokeyface

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