Okay so I've known this girl for approximately 4 years, and I'm really starting to like her as more than a friend. We have been pretty good friends over the years, and now we're really close. I have seen her go through 2 boyfriends which lead to two failing relationships. There have been times over the years where we weren't as close, but I think we're the closest now. She tells me about her financial difficulties, tells me about trouble in school, and tells me pretty much everything. I occasionally pick her up from her school (which is 2 hours away)
and I used to take her to work every now and then when she had a job. When we hang out she always tells me about random events in her life and if we go out to eat I always pay for the both of us (even though she recently started to pay for me even when I ask her not to). Whenever she leaves me I always give her a hug (yes I initiate it) and when we haven't seen each other in a long time we always hug. But for some reason I think she isn't a very affectionate person. I REALLY like this girl and I want to ask her out, or show her that I'm interested in some way. Hypebeast what should I do?
Damn son. I was like, Ok, Ok, this is salvagable....ok....and then I got to the bolded and I was just like....damn b. This nigga deep in the friendzone.
*Sigh* you got some sacrifices that you gotta be prepared to make my dude. 1. Are you willing to lose her as a friend? That's number one. Matter fact, that's the only number. If you aren't prepared to do this, then stop reading immediately. Cuz listen, if she becomes your girl, she's no longer a friend. If she rejects you, you'd be a vagina to stay in the friendzone and do all that driving 4 hours and all that. SMH. So, you ready?
So before I hit you with the advice, lemme give you a little analogy. You need to understand the friendzone before you understand how to get out of the friendzone. So check:
Women have two pools. The friendzone pool and the non friendzone pool.
The friendzone pool is always nice and warm for weak and/or non threatening males. Thing is, a lotta weak niggas opt for the freind pool because they're so desperate for that girl's attention that they'll take anything and that nice warm pool is easy to settle into. Niggas with platonic friendships that ain't in the friendzone might dip their legs in at a party while enjoying a drink at a part. But freindzone dudes be straight backstroking in that piece. Swimming in the deep end with snorkels and all that.
The non friendzone pool is usually cold. Straight up. YOU gotta warm it up. And just like a cold ass pool, it's worse if you try to ease your way in. It's best to just jump in all at once, get that cold shock over with and get used to the cold. Then you gotta warm that pool up little by little. Ever talk to a girl you never met before? If you start slow, it gets awkward fast. If you just jump in with confidence, you have a better chance of warming her up to you.
Now some niggas do start off in the friendzone pool briefly
just because they dig a chick and they just like her company. That's ok. It's all about the transition to the cold pool. Niggas that dip their toes to see how cold it is usually fail cuz they punk out. Dipping your toes is like, dropping little compliments here and there to see how she responds. Or getting her sentimental gifts. This is awkward. This is weak. You will only make her want to kick you into the friendzone pool. But the smart ones get out that pool quick and jump into the cold pool. They suffer a harsher cold shock cuz they came from the warm pool, but they have a better chance of success because they didn't hang in the friendzone too long.
Niggas who stay in the friendzone for years.....smh....well, you're there because it's comfortable. You're there because it's easy. You barely have the balls to step outside the pool. It's unlikely you'll ever leave the comfort of the warm pool for the hard work of the cold pool.
Now, the advice comes in the next post.