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March 4, 2010 @ 05:00 PM
FillUp703

Post: 47

Join Date: Jul 2009

Location: VA

Sorry if this has already been done. I'll start.


While driving to work this morning and not really paying attention; I rear-ended a car at a traffic light.

When the driver got out... I noticed that he was a dwarf!

He steamed up to my car and said, 'I'm not happy...'.

So I said, 'Well, which one are you then?'
March 4, 2010 @ 05:16 PM
sjem

Post: 2661

Join Date: Apr 2009

Location: England

While at the supermarket this morning I knocked into some other guys trolley and knocked all his stuff on the floor.
I looked down and saw that he was a midget.
He said "I'm not happy."
So I said, "Well which one are you then?"

Lol?
March 4, 2010 @ 05:17 PM
Whatyoumean?

Post: 438

Join Date: Aug 2008

Location: UK

my friend is blind and has been since he was born

im happy for him though because he is getting married soon

but i didnt think he was seeing anyone
March 4, 2010 @ 05:21 PM
faust

Post: 4737

Join Date: Jan 2009

Location: ny bang bang skeet s...

While at the school the other day I knocked into some other guy and knocked all his books on the floor.
I looked down and saw that he was a dwarf.
He said "I'm not happy."
So I said, "Well which one are you then?"

amidoinitrite?
March 4, 2010 @ 05:23 PM
Spankbank

Post: 3915

Join Date: Sep 2008

Location: Crooklyn

So today I bumped into something
I looked down and saw that he was a dwarf.
He said "I'm not happy."
So I said, "Well which one are you then?"

amidoinitrite?
March 4, 2010 @ 05:25 PM

Inactive

So today I was walking along and stepped on something
I looked down and saw that it was a dwarf.
He said "I'm not happy."
So I said, "Well which one are you then?"

amidoinitrite?
March 4, 2010 @ 05:26 PM
Whatyoumean?

Post: 438

Join Date: Aug 2008

Location: UK

i saw a dwarf he said he wasn't happy i said which one are you then.
March 4, 2010 @ 05:27 PM
Jamie Dimon

Post: 1284

Join Date: Jun 2009

I don't care what colour you are. I don't care where you're from. I don't care what you do for a living. I don't care what class you are, how you dress, what you smoke or drink or who you know or whom you've fucked.

I hate you all. I hate every last living, breathing, snot and feces producing, promiscuously copulating, celebrity obsessed, opinionated one of you. From right here in New York City right around the planet and back, coast to coast, nationwide and internationally. Every. Single. Last. One. Of. You.

Fuck love. Fuck your insipid grasping at some abstract concept of chemical imbalances and reasonless actions, fumbling around in the crowd trying to find some cinematic supposition for real human interaction. Fuck lust, too. Fuck you all, from the lowlife dirtbags that think dropping trou and waving the little soldier in a sloppy arc is a pick-up line to the sniveling of the desperate 'nice guys' who never get the girl due to a total lack of testosterone grown stones. Fuck you all, from the crazy, under dressed sluts that judge a persons character by the price of their shirt, right down to the fat, flabby chicks that think personality is enough.

Fuck you drivers, for thinking that a yellow light is a sign that says 'step on the gas'. Fuck you wheelmen and women that think it's okay to sit in a left hand turn in the middle of morning traffic, even though there is a protected left in the intersections before and after where you need to make your turn. Fuck you too cyclists - you're not exempt from the traffic laws just because your peddling, you miserable spandex covered neon reflective fucks. Fuck you too, pedestrians. Use the fucking crosswalk if you don't want to get hit, and use it before the little countdown clock says '3'. You don't have enough goddamn time to lope across four lanes of traffic.

Fuck you chick on your cellphone. Fuck you attitude packed minimum-wager that makes my coffee. Fuck you cops that spend all their time handing out speeding tickets. Fuck you douche bag doing ten over the limit in the passing lane on the highway. Fuck you lady using exact change at the counter at the grocery store. Fuck you kids having a conversation in the doorway. And fuck you also for not getting the fuck out of your designated handicapped seat when a pregnant or elderly person gets on the fucking bus.

Fuck taxes. Fuck welfare. Fuck the whole selfish, over politicized and party driven government system. I'm sick and fucking tired of policies and new laws with seven hundred bylaws that nobody but you and your cabinet reads. Fuck you councilors and your stupid 'district improvement' plans. Fuck you unions, for asking for so much and giving nothing more that what you already give. Fuck the whole process that allows people who are supposed to be working for us work for interests that only benefit the next campaign. Fuck your short-sightedness, your rush to the bandwagons, and your incessant arguing over fuck all. Fuck the parties, fuck the conventions, and fuck your campaigns. Do some real fucking work for a change.

Fuck you bottles of water. You're water. You're not worth two fucking dollars.
Fuck you trendsetters, fuck you fashionistas. Fuck your little dogs and and your idiotic outfits. Fuck your high heels in the snow. Fuck your five dollar coffees and your fifteen dollar veggie burgers. Fuck your health kick, your diet or your fucking new interest in kickboxing or sushi.

Fuck your culture. Fuck your race. Fuck your sense of entitlement. Fuck your sense of uniqueness. Fuck you all for the belief that you have something unique and interesting to contribute. Fuck you for filling the internet with your useless garbage. Fuck your blogs, your wikis, your forums. Fuck your name calling. And most of all, fuck whatever you believe. It's all wrong. Fuck it.

Fuck your complaints. Fuck your addictions. Fuck your dependencies. Fuck your pain. Fuck your tears. Fuck selling whatever it is you sell. Fuck your manipulation of others. Fuck movies. Fuck fucking. Fuck everything you own. Fuck your allergies. Fuck your stupid commons sense. Fuck your spelling and fuck your lack of education, or your ignorance, whatever is applicable.

I don't give a fuck. Shut the fuck up and just get on with it.

My garbage can eats better than 99% of the world.

March 4, 2010 @ 05:32 PM
faust

Post: 4737

Join Date: Jan 2009

Location: ny bang bang skeet s...

I don't care what colour you are. I don't care where you're from. I don't care what you do for a living. I don't care what class you are, how you dress, what you smoke or drink or who you know or whom you've fucked.

I hate you all. I hate every last living, breathing, snot and feces producing, promiscuously copulating, celebrity obsessed, opinionated one of you. From right here in New York City right around the planet and back, coast to coast, nationwide and internationally. Every. Single. Last. One. Of. You.

Fuck love. Fuck your insipid grasping at some abstract concept of chemical imbalances and reasonless actions, fumbling around in the crowd trying to find some cinematic supposition for real human interaction. Fuck lust, too. Fuck you all, from the lowlife dirtbags that think dropping trou and waving the little soldier in a sloppy arc is a pick-up line to the sniveling of the desperate 'nice guys' who never get the girl due to a total lack of testosterone grown stones. Fuck you all, from the crazy, under dressed sluts that judge a persons character by the price of their shirt, right down to the fat, flabby chicks that think personality is enough.

Fuck you drivers, for thinking that a yellow light is a sign that says 'step on the gas'. Fuck you wheelmen and women that think it's okay to sit in a left hand turn in the middle of morning traffic, even though there is a protected left in the intersections before and after where you need to make your turn. Fuck you too cyclists - you're not exempt from the traffic laws just because your peddling, you miserable spandex covered neon reflective fucks. Fuck you too, pedestrians. Use the fucking crosswalk if you don't want to get hit, and use it before the little countdown clock says '3'. You don't have enough goddamn time to lope across four lanes of traffic.

Fuck you chick on your cellphone. Fuck you attitude packed minimum-wager that makes my coffee. Fuck you cops that spend all their time handing out speeding tickets. Fuck you douche bag doing ten over the limit in the passing lane on the highway. Fuck you lady using exact change at the counter at the grocery store. Fuck you kids having a conversation in the doorway. And fuck you also for not getting the fuck out of your designated handicapped seat when a pregnant or elderly person gets on the fucking bus.

Fuck taxes. Fuck welfare. Fuck the whole selfish, over politicized and party driven government system. I'm sick and fucking tired of policies and new laws with seven hundred bylaws that nobody but you and your cabinet reads. Fuck you councilors and your stupid 'district improvement' plans. Fuck you unions, for asking for so much and giving nothing more that what you already give. Fuck the whole process that allows people who are supposed to be working for us work for interests that only benefit the next campaign. Fuck your short-sightedness, your rush to the bandwagons, and your incessant arguing over fuck all. Fuck the parties, fuck the conventions, and fuck your campaigns. Do some real fucking work for a change.

Fuck you bottles of water. You're water. You're not worth two fucking dollars.
Fuck you trendsetters, fuck you fashionistas. Fuck your little dogs and and your idiotic outfits. Fuck your high heels in the snow. Fuck your five dollar coffees and your fifteen dollar veggie burgers. Fuck your health kick, your diet or your fucking new interest in kickboxing or sushi.

Fuck your culture. Fuck your race. Fuck your sense of entitlement. Fuck your sense of uniqueness. Fuck you all for the belief that you have something unique and interesting to contribute. Fuck you for filling the internet with your useless garbage. Fuck your blogs, your wikis, your forums. Fuck your name calling. And most of all, fuck whatever you believe. It's all wrong. Fuck it.

Fuck your complaints. Fuck your addictions. Fuck your dependencies. Fuck your pain. Fuck your tears. Fuck selling whatever it is you sell. Fuck your manipulation of others. Fuck movies. Fuck fucking. Fuck everything you own. Fuck your allergies. Fuck your stupid commons sense. Fuck your spelling and fuck your lack of education, or your ignorance, whatever is applicable.

I don't give a fuck. Shut the fuck up and just get on with it.



lol you said "unions" if you replace the u with a p, the n with an e, the i with a n, the o with an i, then it says PENIS LOLOLO o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o
March 4, 2010 @ 05:32 PM
SupremeSwagger

Post: 675

Join Date: Jan 2010

What do you call a party full of epilepcy people?

Foam party
March 4, 2010 @ 05:34 PM
sharky

Post: 1228

Join Date: Feb 2010

Location: gta

I don't care what colour you are. I don't care where you're from. I don't care what you do for a living. I don't care what class you are, how you dress, what you smoke or drink or who you know or whom you've fucked.

I hate you all. I hate every last living, breathing, snot and feces producing, promiscuously copulating, celebrity obsessed, opinionated one of you. From right here in New York City right around the planet and back, coast to coast, nationwide and internationally. Every. Single. Last. One. Of. You.

Fuck love. Fuck your insipid grasping at some abstract concept of chemical imbalances and reasonless actions, fumbling around in the crowd trying to find some cinematic supposition for real human interaction. Fuck lust, too. Fuck you all, from the lowlife dirtbags that think dropping trou and waving the little soldier in a sloppy arc is a pick-up line to the sniveling of the desperate 'nice guys' who never get the girl due to a total lack of testosterone grown stones. Fuck you all, from the crazy, under dressed sluts that judge a persons character by the price of their shirt, right down to the fat, flabby chicks that think personality is enough.

Fuck you drivers, for thinking that a yellow light is a sign that says 'step on the gas'. Fuck you wheelmen and women that think it's okay to sit in a left hand turn in the middle of morning traffic, even though there is a protected left in the intersections before and after where you need to make your turn. Fuck you too cyclists - you're not exempt from the traffic laws just because your peddling, you miserable spandex covered neon reflective fucks. Fuck you too, pedestrians. Use the fucking crosswalk if you don't want to get hit, and use it before the little countdown clock says '3'. You don't have enough goddamn time to lope across four lanes of traffic.

Fuck you chick on your cellphone. Fuck you attitude packed minimum-wager that makes my coffee. Fuck you cops that spend all their time handing out speeding tickets. Fuck you douche bag doing ten over the limit in the passing lane on the highway. Fuck you lady using exact change at the counter at the grocery store. Fuck you kids having a conversation in the doorway. And fuck you also for not getting the fuck out of your designated handicapped seat when a pregnant or elderly person gets on the fucking bus.

Fuck taxes. Fuck welfare. Fuck the whole selfish, over politicized and party driven government system. I'm sick and fucking tired of policies and new laws with seven hundred bylaws that nobody but you and your cabinet reads. Fuck you councilors and your stupid 'district improvement' plans. Fuck you unions, for asking for so much and giving nothing more that what you already give. Fuck the whole process that allows people who are supposed to be working for us work for interests that only benefit the next campaign. Fuck your short-sightedness, your rush to the bandwagons, and your incessant arguing over fuck all. Fuck the parties, fuck the conventions, and fuck your campaigns. Do some real fucking work for a change.

Fuck you bottles of water. You're water. You're not worth two fucking dollars.
Fuck you trendsetters, fuck you fashionistas. Fuck your little dogs and and your idiotic outfits. Fuck your high heels in the snow. Fuck your five dollar coffees and your fifteen dollar veggie burgers. Fuck your health kick, your diet or your fucking new interest in kickboxing or sushi.

Fuck your culture. Fuck your race. Fuck your sense of entitlement. Fuck your sense of uniqueness. Fuck you all for the belief that you have something unique and interesting to contribute. Fuck you for filling the internet with your useless garbage. Fuck your blogs, your wikis, your forums. Fuck your name calling. And most of all, fuck whatever you believe. It's all wrong. Fuck it.

Fuck your complaints. Fuck your addictions. Fuck your dependencies. Fuck your pain. Fuck your tears. Fuck selling whatever it is you sell. Fuck your manipulation of others. Fuck movies. Fuck fucking. Fuck everything you own. Fuck your allergies. Fuck your stupid commons sense. Fuck your spelling and fuck your lack of education, or your ignorance, whatever is applicable.

I don't give a fuck. Shut the fuck up and just get on with it.

March 4, 2010 @ 05:35 PM
faust

Post: 4737

Join Date: Jan 2009

Location: ny bang bang skeet s...

That reminds this one time I was thinking about how I don't care what colour you are. I don't care where you're from. I don't care what you do for a living. I don't care what class you are, how you dress, what you smoke or drink or who you know or whom you've fucked.

I hate you all. I hate every last living, breathing, snot and feces producing, promiscuously copulating, celebrity obsessed, opinionated one of you. From right here in New York City right around the planet and back, coast to coast, nationwide and internationally. Every. Single. Last. One. Of. You.

Fuck love. Fuck your insipid grasping at some abstract concept of chemical imbalances and reasonless actions, fumbling around in the crowd trying to find some cinematic supposition for real human interaction. Fuck lust, too. Fuck you all, from the lowlife dirtbags that think dropping trou and waving the little soldier in a sloppy arc is a pick-up line to the sniveling of the desperate 'nice guys' who never get the girl due to a total lack of testosterone grown stones. Fuck you all, from the crazy, under dressed sluts that judge a persons character by the price of their shirt, right down to the fat, flabby chicks that think personality is enough.

Fuck you drivers, for thinking that a yellow light is a sign that says 'step on the gas'. Fuck you wheelmen and women that think it's okay to sit in a left hand turn in the middle of morning traffic, even though there is a protected left in the intersections before and after where you need to make your turn. Fuck you too cyclists - you're not exempt from the traffic laws just because your peddling, you miserable spandex covered neon reflective fucks. Fuck you too, pedestrians. Use the fucking crosswalk if you don't want to get hit, and use it before the little countdown clock says '3'. You don't have enough goddamn time to lope across four lanes of traffic.

Fuck you chick on your cellphone. Fuck you attitude packed minimum-wager that makes my coffee. Fuck you cops that spend all their time handing out speeding tickets. Fuck you douche bag doing ten over the limit in the passing lane on the highway. Fuck you lady using exact change at the counter at the grocery store. Fuck you kids having a conversation in the doorway. And fuck you also for not getting the fuck out of your designated handicapped seat when a pregnant or elderly person gets on the fucking bus.

Fuck taxes. Fuck welfare. Fuck the whole selfish, over politicized and party driven government system. I'm sick and fucking tired of policies and new laws with seven hundred bylaws that nobody but you and your cabinet reads. Fuck you councilors and your stupid 'district improvement' plans. Fuck you unions, for asking for so much and giving nothing more that what you already give. Fuck the whole process that allows people who are supposed to be working for us work for interests that only benefit the next campaign. Fuck your short-sightedness, your rush to the bandwagons, and your incessant arguing over fuck all. Fuck the parties, fuck the conventions, and fuck your campaigns. Do some real fucking work for a change.

Fuck you bottles of water. You're water. You're not worth two fucking dollars.
Fuck you trendsetters, fuck you fashionistas. Fuck your little dogs and and your idiotic outfits. Fuck your high heels in the snow. Fuck your five dollar coffees and your fifteen dollar veggie burgers. Fuck your health kick, your diet or your fucking new interest in kickboxing or sushi.

Fuck your culture. Fuck your race. Fuck your sense of entitlement. Fuck your sense of uniqueness. Fuck you all for the belief that you have something unique and interesting to contribute. Fuck you for filling the internet with your useless garbage. Fuck your blogs, your wikis, your forums. Fuck your name calling. And most of all, fuck whatever you believe. It's all wrong. Fuck it.

Fuck your complaints. Fuck your addictions. Fuck your dependencies. Fuck your pain. Fuck your tears. Fuck selling whatever it is you sell. Fuck your manipulation of others. Fuck movies. Fuck fucking. Fuck everything you own. Fuck your allergies. Fuck your stupid commons sense. Fuck your spelling and fuck your lack of education, or your ignorance, whatever is applicable.

I don't give a fuck. Shut the fuck up and just get on with it.
March 4, 2010 @ 05:36 PM
SupremeSwagger

Post: 675

Join Date: Jan 2010

So i was at the ed hardey store copping some fresh tees with rhinestones and noticed something
I looked down and saw that it was a dwarf.
He said "I'm not happy."
So I said, "Well which one are you then?"

amidoinitrite?
March 4, 2010 @ 05:43 PM
whenarichniggawantU

Post: 1500

Join Date: Aug 2008

Location: San Diego

What do you call a mexican on a bike?

THIEF!
March 4, 2010 @ 06:05 PM
Jamie Dimon

Post: 1284

Join Date: Jun 2009



nah du

My garbage can eats better than 99% of the world.

March 4, 2010 @ 06:06 PM
Dray

Post: 2167

Join Date: Dec 2008

Location: Bay Area

While at the supermarket this morning I knocked into some other guys trolley and knocked all his stuff on the floor.
I looked down and saw that he was a midget.
He said "I'm not happy."
So I said, "Well which one are you then?"

Lol?


lold irl
March 4, 2010 @ 06:14 PM
Astro Boy

Post: 274

Join Date: Feb 2010

Location: New Jersey

Why are black people so tall?





Beacuase their knee grows.
March 4, 2010 @ 06:16 PM
ᴊᴜᴀɴ

Post: 6244

Join Date: Jun 2007

Location: Lurking

This reminds me of a funny ass joke i heard yesterday that went like this.

While driving to work this morning and not really paying attention; I rear-ended a car at a traffic light.

When the driver got out... I noticed that he was a dwarf!

He steamed up to my car and said, 'I'm not happy...'.

So I said, 'Well, which one are you then?'
March 4, 2010 @ 06:17 PM
faust

Post: 4737

Join Date: Jan 2009

Location: ny bang bang skeet s...

Why are black people so tall?





Beacuase their knee grows.


really? that's the best you got?
March 4, 2010 @ 06:35 PM
chill.

Post: 164

Join Date: Aug 2009

Location: Digable Planets

A drum kit falls of a cliff...

ba dum psh...
...
...
ha....
March 4, 2010 @ 06:46 PM

Inactive

What do you call cheese that's not yours?

Na'cho cheese
March 4, 2010 @ 08:14 PM
Frodizzi

Post: 723

Join Date: Jan 2007

^

don't worry why my wrist got so freeze
tell ya girl like doritos that's nacho cheese


.
March 4, 2010 @ 08:17 PM
SupremeSwagger

Post: 675

Join Date: Jan 2010

^
Tell your friends like fritos i am trying to lay
March 4, 2010 @ 08:18 PM
SupremeSwagger

Post: 675

Join Date: Jan 2010

What do you call a party full of epilepcy people?


Foam party.
March 4, 2010 @ 08:19 PM
Ihome

Post: 685

Join Date: Jan 2009

Location: no

this thread fucking sucks
March 4, 2010 @ 08:22 PM
tmwtg

Post: 3096

Join Date: Jun 2009

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE PERSON WHO RAN lN FRONT OF A CAR?

HE GOT TIRED

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE PERSON WHO RAN BEHIND THE CAR?

HE GOT EXHAUSTED

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL


HAHHAHAHA. i LOLD
March 4, 2010 @ 08:45 PM
Space Dandy

suspended

Post: 3633

Join Date: Dec 2006

that suit is black not
March 4, 2010 @ 08:58 PM
djFEBREEZE

Post: 357

Join Date: Nov 2006

Location: VALLEJO, CA

girls love jokes...

what kind of fish are from the moon? salmoOn

what do you get when a brown cow and chicken are in the same bed? brown chicken brown cow (make that pR0n music sound)

for my filipinos

how do you get a watermelon pregnant? you pakwan (watermelon in tagalog is pakwan) get it? fuck one?

how do you fight a lumpia? you pansit!

what kind of pants does mario wear? denim denim denim

Strictly

March 4, 2010 @ 09:05 PM
alex.

Post: 6401

Join Date: Jul 2008

Location: Slovakia :3

Lefty is handsome
March 4, 2010 @ 09:44 PM
GenuineGirl

Post: 146

Join Date: Jan 2010

this thread fucking sucks



I agree! no funny jokes at all! |0

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