I need some jokes!

May 02, 2009 @ 00:44:45 AM
Post: 3866
Join Date: Mar 2009
im applying for this job, and they said that during the interview..the manager is gonna ask for two jokes and i need some jokes that wouldnt really offend anyone. anyone know any funny ones?!
May 02, 2009 @ 00:48:21 AM
Post: 2063
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Bay Area
They said that when a black man becomes president, "Pigs will fly" , and now, 100 days into Obama's presidency.. Swine flu
May 02, 2009 @ 00:49:00 AM
Post: 427
Join Date: Jul 2007
???
May 02, 2009 @ 00:56:27 AM
Post: 711
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: K-Town, Lost Anjaleeeeez
"thats what she said"

as repetitive as it is, using it wisely at unexpected times will result in major lulz.
May 02, 2009 @ 01:03:49 AM
Post: 3866
Join Date: Mar 2009
they said that when a black man becomes president, "pigs will fly" , and now, 100 days into obama's presidency.. Swine flu


looooooooool!!!!!
May 02, 2009 @ 01:18:28 AM
Post: 724
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Philly
They said that when a black man becomes president, "Pigs will fly" , and now, 100 days into Obama's presidency.. Swine flu


Damn..........epic

Dale Earnhardt's favorite album? Pink Floyd: The Wall
May 02, 2009 @ 02:31:51 AM
Post: 569
Join Date: Dec 2007
if you want some safe jokes watch youtube videos of dane cook
May 02, 2009 @ 02:40:11 AM
Post: 694
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: 604
Q. If A woman with big boobs works at Hooters, Where does a woman with one leg work?
A. Ihop

Q. Whats brown and rythems with snoop?
A. Dr.Dre
May 02, 2009 @ 02:49:19 AM
Post: 421
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Baltimore, MD
what do you call a gay dinosaur? megasoarass

waht do you call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotapuss

what does a man with a big penis eat for breakfast? he will ask what and then you say "thought you wouldnt know"

why was ray charles a bad driver? hes black

why was helen keller a bad driver? shes a woman
May 02, 2009 @ 02:50:00 AM
Post: 691
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: 604
Why's Santa's sack so big.

He only comes once a year.
May 02, 2009 @ 02:53:51 AM
Post: 1581
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: BAY, CALIFAS

As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.

May 02, 2009 @ 03:15:06 AM
Post: 492
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Bay Area
Joke one

There's a black guy, white guy, asian guy and a hispanic guyat the top of a gigantic mountain.

When they get to the top the asian man jumps off and says "This is for my people". The hispanic man jumps off too, screaming "This is for my people!". The black guy shouts "This is for MY people!" and throws the white guy off the mountain.

Joke Two

What's white, hard, and 10 inches long?

Absolutely nothing.


(I'm assuming your manager is white, if not, adjust jokes to offend his ethnicity accordingly. You'll be a shoe in for the job.)
May 02, 2009 @ 03:22:48 AM
Post: 461
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Canada
they said that when a black man becomes president, "pigs will fly" , and now, 100 days into obama's presidency.. Swine flu


win
May 02, 2009 @ 08:11:52 AM
Post: 582
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: radda
There's a black guy and a mexican guy in a car. Who's driving?

A cop

radda radda radda

May 02, 2009 @ 08:55:05 AM
Post: 492
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Bay Area
lmfao
May 02, 2009 @ 09:07:10 AM
Post: 525
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: brookyn ny
can your stop with the black jokes?
May 02, 2009 @ 09:13:05 AM
Post: 1217
Join Date: Nov 2008
lmao
May 02, 2009 @ 10:07:52 AM

Inactive User

Q-How do you know a woman is about to say something smart?
A-When she starts off with "A man once said.."

Q-Why do women get married in white?
A-So they match the kitchen appliances!

Q-What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A-A battery has a positive side

Q-Why don't women need a driver's license?
A-There is no road between the bedroom and the kitchen.

Q-Why hasn't a woman ever gone to the moon?
A-It doesn't need cleaning yet

Q-What do you do when the dishwasher breaks?
A-You hit her

Q-How do you make a woman dizzy?
A-Put her in a circular room and tell her to go to a corner.

Q-How do you fix a woman's watch?
A-It doesn't matter, there's a clock on the stove

Q-Which of the following doesn't belong: Wife, meat, eggs, or a blowjob?
A-The blowjob. You can beat yur wife, your eggs, or your meat, but you just can't beat a blowjob.
May 02, 2009 @ 11:04:41 AM
Post: 259
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Chicago, IL
What do you call a mexican without a lawnmower? Unemployed.
May 02, 2009 @ 11:18:08 AM
Post: 1525
Join Date: May 2008
There's a black guy and a mexican guy in a car. Who's driving?

A cop


lololol
May 02, 2009 @ 13:02:50 PM
Post: 796
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Seattle
Originally posted by Inactive User
Q. Whats brown and rythems with snoop?
A. Dr.Dre


lol
May 02, 2009 @ 13:25:47 PM
Post: 158
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: The Bay
Did you guys hear the news? Apparently,Kermit the frog just passed away this morninq from swine flu. He contracted the virus a week ago from eatinq Miss Piggy out. So tragic.
May 02, 2009 @ 13:27:17 PM
Post: 777
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Toronto
^Fail.
May 02, 2009 @ 13:41:54 PM
Post: 663
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: 916
what do you call a sea gull that hangs out at the bay?

a bay-gull lulzz
May 02, 2009 @ 13:44:30 PM
Post: 4370
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: California
dead baby jokes
May 02, 2009 @ 14:05:33 PM
Post: 4375
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: nyc
knock knock

who's there?

fuck you nig.ga
May 02, 2009 @ 14:36:26 PM
Post: 3866
Join Date: Mar 2009
this is gold! haha, thanks guys. keep them coming! and yes, my manager is white
May 02, 2009 @ 14:36:58 PM

Inactive User

Q-How do you save a drowning baby?
A-Harpoon it
Q-What is better than a dead baby?
A-The revoked child-support
May 02, 2009 @ 14:44:30 PM
Post: 2714
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Oregon.
lol dead baby jokes are terrible but so gold
May 02, 2009 @ 14:44:51 PM
Post: 4370
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: California
what's better than 10 dead babies nailed to one tree?
one dead baby nailed to 10 trees

how do you fit 100 babies into a bucket?
with a blender
how do you get them back out?
with tortilla chips
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