My tissue game was fucked up and i didn't cover my nostril all the way and a huge ass booger flies onto her shoulder. I was like FUCK. I didn't want to wipe it cuz there woulda been a stain and she woulda noticed and I woulda been fucked, but on the other hand I was fucked cuz she was gonna see a giant ass booger on her shoulder.
.... Come to find out she was missing an arm
I had taken the words out of his mouth and filled it with fart.
We used to have get togethers every night at my house when everyone was still single. Last year, there was a random night when only me and another friend were free so she and I ended up getting faded, just the two of us. We were tired so we were in the living room heavy eyed watching Anaconda. I put my arm around her, cuz heck, I did it all the time, she was really cute for a lesbian. She asks me to lie down so she can get comfortable, so I did. I was starting to close my eyes when suddenly I feel her finger circling my nipple. I was like, WTF? Well, to speed this up, we ended up making out, then staggering to my room, where I eventually convinced her to get naked. I couldn't get hard cuz I was drunk so I went down on her for like almost an hour. She was talking dirty to me the whole time going "you like eating pussy? you like it?" in her boyish-sounding voice. AWKWARD since she's one of my best friends. The whole time I was frantically wishing I got hard, so Im pretty sure she caught on to that and didn't cum the whole time. What sucks is that she's heard me say "I have a big dick," in the past, but it's so not the case when I'm flaccid! After it was all done, I looked like a dumbass who can't lick pussy and has a small dick; the opposite of what I'm supposed to have a reputation for. She just straight up left. I felt like I was the girl who got used, LOL. So I still see her all the time and still are good friends. No one knows about what happened that night within my friends, but till this day, I can't make a "big dick" comment without catching eye contact with her and feeling awkward and useless. Sometimes I like to randomly make comments about stuff that only I would know too, just to make her feel awkward, like, "yeah her tits are actually big when they're not bound by those damn tight sportsbras she wears, or " I bet you have small nipples."
So many lol's.
One time when I was about 7 or 8 and in elementary school, I had a weak bladder. And the class I was in was wayyyy out in a trailer separated from the rest of the school. So I would have to take like a 5 minute walk from my class, and my stomach was acting up bad. So I ran from the trailer to the school, and I could feel that shit sliding out with every step. So I get in the bathroom and there's shit everywhere at that point. It's like in the back of my shoes, on the ground of the bathroom, everywhere. And the bell was about to ring to go home, so I did my best to clean up quickly and left what I didn't have time to clean. So I run out the bathroom to catch the bus, and I run into this old black janitor. He just stands there and says, "I know what did in there boy." I took off running and didn't look back.
So im graduating from college...and in my engineering class we have a reflect class in which we look back at the past four year. We was told to bring pics, videos,ext. I broke my jump drive a week prior and had to use my older brother usb card. So its my turn to show off my pics and about 2 mins into the slide show a video of my older bro getting head comes on this big ass projection screen!! Note: Me and my bro are identical. Lol
WE TRIPPY MANE
this one time i was writing this exam, this weird kid that look like he's 10 sits beside me. then in the middle of the exam, he had the loudest fart i've ever heard. it was a auditorium style room, so the sound echoed too. i quickly moved farter away, and noticed everyone looking, including the prof.
was watching cheaters uncensored with my dad while wearing pyjama bottoms. the two people start fucking on hidden camera like full out porn fucking and i popped a boner, then my dad told me get up and turn off the dvd player... got up and tried to angle my rod away from him and flicked that shit off and ran upstairs.
San Francisco, CA findme.
anal del rey http://yellow-stuff.com
popped a boner watching icarly
