a conversation led out with this hellllllla fine chick in one of my classes. i started acting real nervous cause i mean shes fuckin fine you know. then i started lightly shaking, then i said "im twitching out, oh my god" ... so awkward, i didnt realize how gay it went until later when i thought about it :O
alright, was reading one about walking into a hotel with mexicans or something.
Two years ago i was on a vacation with my family at las vegas.
We get to a hotel, and i realize i left something in the car, i walk down by myself to go get it, and come back up. I thought i was at the right room; the door was left open like my room i was staying at was, i walk in, and i see three mexican guys watching tv, but before that, i try to take off my shoes. I look up, and see them, then i slipped them back on and booked it back down the hall way, doing some metal gear solid shit, hiding on the sides. I felt so embarssed. :/
im korean and i went to my friend's house who's a half philipino and white. anyways it was my first time there and i saw his mom(philipino) in the table doing tax or w.e and u kno how asians always bow to the elders and shit so while i was bowing to her i then realized shes fukin straight up americanized without no accent and shit and shes looking at me with a weird ass look in her face. so i just go the next room without making eye contact. i just sat in the couch thinkin wtf i just did and how fukin awkard it would be when i see her later. smh
gay college roommate: hey, you want a piece of gum?
me: nah, i'm straight
pause
da fuck?
Got drunk and stumbled toward my best friend, she thought I tried to kiss her. Lame.
Got drunk and stumbled toward my best friend, she thought I tried to kiss her. Lame.
pronounced "organism" as "orgasm" in biology while reading aloud. Said it about 20 times, I didn't even realize what I was saying. When I finished reading the whole class and my instructor were staring at me with a look of disbelief, a few people were laughing. The worst part: I had 1 hour left in the class and it was just the beginning of the semester...
so about 3 weeks ago i went to my girls house to kick it but her grandma waas there snoopin and shit givin me some dirty ass looks, so she proceeded to cook some dinner for us while we're watchin tv and shit while we're waiting for her to leave. So she cooks us some fish and goes off into her room to get ready before she leaves. So we're chillin on the couch watchin tv in the living room and shit i started fingering my girl while her grandmas bedroom door is wide open and she has a clear view of what im doing, but the living room lights were off so the only light was the tv so it was dark. So then i put the blanket over my girl and it looked liike she was laying down and she started giving me head...her grandma then walks in and says what is she doing! And i said shes asleep and well since she only speaks spanish and has pretty much no common sense she believed me and she says well okay im leaving and i shake her hand but i try to wipe them on the blanket before but my fingers were still grimy as fuck) and i guess she scratched her nose and said oh my i thought i washed my hands they still smell like fish....hahaaaaaaaaa
......
Diamondxfamx u deserves a MEDAL
Inactive
Like 3 years ago, my friend and I went over to another friends house who has a hot sister. Me and my friend were on the computer while the hot sister friend went to the other room and i began to tell my friend we should go into her room (I can't really remember why) and in the middle of saying it I turned around to find her dad on the other side of the room. I don't think he heard me but I locked eyes with him for like 45 seconds cause I didn't know what to do and he just gave me this look like "the hell are you staring at?". Eventually I just turned around and my friend with the hot sister told me that his dad thought I was gay.
I think he's forgotten by now though
Dude you know pussy shouldn't actually smell like fish right?
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