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September 5, 2009 @ 11:30 PM
C.Dante

Post: 4366

Join Date: Nov 2008

Location: NNNNJJJJJ

lmao YOU FUCKING FAIL
September 5, 2009 @ 11:34 PM
Auguste

Post: 2056

Join Date: Jun 2009

Location: LA

i waz on the phone with my friend and then my mom called
so i picked up nd somehow we got into an arguement
so i switch back over, but i actually put it on 3 way nd i said
"yo man i fuckin hate my mom, i can't stand that bitch, she gets on my fuckin nerves i swear"
i made her crysad


sucks bro....



This one is pretty recent. Last year on my 18 birthday my parents threw me a surprise party. It was held at my aunts house. After the surprise and everything my friends get there (who have never been to my aunts house) and I show them the bathroom outside located at the back of the house, just incase the indoor one was being used. It's sort of like an outhouse but has a toilet and sink.

So I'm walking with my friends towards the back and when we get there I open the bathroom door & one of my parents' dude friend is standing there talking a piss. He stared at us for about 3 seconds until I shut the door and we all walked away confused at what had happened...

The rest of the day was just weird...

I had taken the words out of his mouth and filled it with fart.

September 5, 2009 @ 11:35 PM
Potsnu

Post: 1236

Join Date: Nov 2007

Location: Toronto, Canada

I was at a bar and I felt a storm brewing in my stomach. I had sushi earlier in the day and I guess it wasn't fresh or anything. Anyways seeing how this is a bar, there was no way I was even going to attempt sitting on the seat even with layers nor did I have the time to do so. I basically squatted over and unleashed a world of pain onto the toilet. When I got up, there was shit everywhere.

My biggest concern at this point was that the stall is super close to the door. So I was afraid someone was going to walk into the stall since it's pretty busy at the bar when I get out....worst all someone I know at the table (20+ ppl). I walk out and luckily no one else was using the washroom at the time. Washed my hands real quick and dipped!

Whole night I was hearing about how someone shit in one of the stalls. Worst part was I guess someone complained and they just hosed down the stall and the whole washroom had water everywhere lol pretty grimy.
September 5, 2009 @ 11:41 PM
Moe Greene

Post: 450

Join Date: Mar 2009

Location: Richmond, VA

^^

*applauds*
September 6, 2009 @ 12:05 AM
Po~It

Post: 351

Join Date: Apr 2009

Location: Nj

o yea another one
i waz tellin my freinds about how this girl liked me nd that i fucked her doggy style (lying) so the next day i guess someone tells her nd she spots me at lunch, she flips over my tray nd i get chocolate milk all over the place (wit a hint of racnh) nd she slaps da shit outta me
we haven't talked since then
September 6, 2009 @ 12:10 AM
2frashbacca

Post: 1011

Join Date: Jun 2009

ahahahahahahhahahhahhahaahhahahhahhahahahha. Never ever lie about fucking a girl, it always gets back to them.
September 6, 2009 @ 12:11 AM
iroccvanz.

Post: 259

Join Date: Sep 2009

Location: sacramento, ca

laughing real hard then taking a huge fart while laughing and laughing louder so no one hears me. thats always awkward


rofl.
September 6, 2009 @ 12:13 AM
2frashbacca

Post: 1011

Join Date: Jun 2009

laughing real hard then taking a huge fart while laughing and laughing louder so no one hears me. thats always awkward


damn son, never experienced this. Must be bad.
September 6, 2009 @ 01:46 AM
PTSAI

Post: 77

Join Date: Jul 2009

Location: Bay Area, 408

yay my favorite thread is active again
September 6, 2009 @ 02:15 AM
SwissMissFire

Post: 1131

Join Date: Nov 2008

so when I was 12 I took karate and we started every lesson with push up. So as the instructor hold my feet down to make sure I do a proper pushup, I fart. Then I start laughing so I let a few more of them go
September 6, 2009 @ 02:18 AM
Carl.

Post: 589

Join Date: Jul 2008

Location: radda

This one time I was at SAT tutoring I had one of those stretch farts (when u strech your back and fart). The class is just me and girls and the tutor sitting in a circle. and this one chick is giving me the eye, winking and shit. So I stretch back 'cause I've been sitting for an hour and this noticible fart just comes out. So I'm sitting there like "oh shit..um..can I go to the bathroom ma'am?". So I leave and walk around trying to think of a way to come back from that. I come back to the class, and everyone's leaving, and the chick walks past. So I give her a feeble smile. She looks at me and gives that weird ass look when they regret doing something. I'm standing in the hallway just looking dumb.


Then this time I'm on vacation in barbados to see my pops. I go to the bathroom cuz I see a wire coming out of it. So I go in, and there's my cousin w. This dvd/tv thing on the toilet cover, fapping in the shower but naked. He comes out 20 mins later saying "you can't prove shit."

Last story. I'm at work at this supermarket on bagboy duty. I just came back from lunch and my stomach is feeling kinda off, so I tell my supervisor I'll be right back. As I'm going to the bathroom, one of my co-workers tells me to come pack for him when I come back so he can use the bathroom. So I go take my dump but its that day, that the toilet clogs up. I come back and he goes to the bathroom and comes back 1 minute later. He would not look me in the eye for the rest of the shift.

radda radda radda

September 6, 2009 @ 02:42 AM
Auguste

Post: 2056

Join Date: Jun 2009

Location: LA


Then this time I'm on vacation in barbados to see my pops. I go to the bathroom cuz I see a wire coming out of it. So I go in, and there's my cousin w. This dvd/tv thing on the toilet cover, fapping in the shower but naked. He comes out 20 mins later saying "you can't prove shit."


I laughed so hard I woke up my sister...

I had taken the words out of his mouth and filled it with fart.

September 6, 2009 @ 02:43 AM
chargerfan

Post: 672

Join Date: Mar 2008

Location: Santa Monica

I'm at Costco eating and my cousin text me saying his foot got ran over at a party last night. So I start smileing all big kinda laughing and I look to my left and there's a hot girl walking by. I made direct eye contact with her and I'm still smiling then I'm like shhit she proably thinks I'm smiling at her.

Then she sits next to me and I'm trying to not look at her then I look over and she's sitting there with a big ass chicken bake in her mouth and I don't know why but I started cracking up.

She then got up and left lol
September 6, 2009 @ 03:53 AM
young idiot

Post: 6150

Join Date: Oct 2008

Location: London

This is turning into the "stories involving bowel movements" thread.
September 6, 2009 @ 06:31 AM
shecky_shabazz

Post: 333

Join Date: Oct 2008

Location: melBURN

i shook hands with a guy with a prosthetic arm, and i shook it too hard and it fell off.
September 6, 2009 @ 06:47 AM
young idiot

Post: 6150

Join Date: Oct 2008

Location: London

i shook hands with a guy with a prosthetic arm, and i shook it too hard and it fell off.


The fuck?
September 6, 2009 @ 05:53 PM
brannen

Post: 1664

Join Date: Dec 2007

Location: Canoga Park, CA

hahahahaha these stories are fucking hilarious
September 6, 2009 @ 05:57 PM
SOLE

Post: 7911

Join Date: Mar 2006

Location: NYC

gay college roommate: hey, you want a piece of gum?
me: nah, i'm straight




pause
September 6, 2009 @ 06:20 PM
yungm

Post: 2093

Join Date: Nov 2008

Location: Bay Area

gay college roommate: Hey, you want a piece of gum?
Me: Nah, i'm straight




pause


lolz!
September 6, 2009 @ 06:27 PM

Inactive

I was at a bar and I felt a storm brewing in my stomach. I had sushi earlier in the day and I guess it wasn't fresh or anything. Anyways seeing how this is a bar, there was no way I was even going to attempt sitting on the seat even with layers nor did I have the time to do so. I basically squatted over and unleashed a world of pain onto the toilet. When I got up, there was shit everywhere.

My biggest concern at this point was that the stall is super close to the door. So I was afraid someone was going to walk into the stall since it's pretty busy at the bar when I get out....worst all someone I know at the table (20+ ppl). I walk out and luckily no one else was using the washroom at the time. Washed my hands real quick and dipped!

Whole night I was hearing about how someone shit in one of the stalls. Worst part was I guess someone complained and they just hosed down the stall and the whole washroom had water everywhere lol pretty grimy.


I'm buggin right now. That's awful yo.
September 6, 2009 @ 07:06 PM
un19

Post: 35

Join Date: May 2008

Location: EC

pronounced "organism" as "orgasm" in biology while reading aloud. Said it about 20 times, I didn't even realize what I was saying. When I finished reading the whole class and my instructor were staring at me with a look of disbelief, a few people were laughing. The worst part: I had 1 hour left in the class and it was just the beginning of the semester...
September 6, 2009 @ 07:09 PM
&bullshit

Post: 1288

Join Date: Aug 2008

Location: Los Angeles

I was taking a shit at baja fresh once. It was one of those single occupant bathrooms and I guess I forgot to lock the door. Some dude walked in and I'm like "wtf, it's occupied". he goes "I just need to wash my hands real quick". So here I am holding back farts while this middle aged fucker starts washing his fucking hands. I'm giving him my "you're lucky I got my pants down or else your arm would be halfway up your ass" look while he takes his sweet time to wash his hands. the asshole used shitloads of soap too so it took him forever to get the fuck out.

http://92riots.tumblr.com/

September 6, 2009 @ 09:26 PM
Beez

Post: 3724

Join Date: Sep 2006

Location: Bay Area, CA



pretty funny though lol.

Instagram @brandohn San Francisco, CA findme.

September 6, 2009 @ 09:32 PM
&y

Post: 4014

Join Date: Mar 2009

im walking down the street with my ipod on, headphones in both ears and blasted up. im just singing and some cute girl just creeps up from behind me and looks at me like im crazy. lulz
September 6, 2009 @ 10:33 PM
northwest

Post: 4033

Join Date: Jul 2006

Location: Seattle, WA

a conversation led out with this hellllllla fine chick in one of my classes. i started acting real nervous cause i mean shes fuckin fine you know. then i started lightly shaking, then i said "im twitching out, oh my god" ... so awkward, i didnt realize how gay it went until later when i thought about it :O
September 6, 2009 @ 11:02 PM
yoon

Post: 1394

Join Date: Oct 2008

Location: earth

im korean and i went to my friend's house who's a half philipino and white. anyways it was my first time there and i saw his mom(philipino) in the table doing tax or w.e and u kno how asians always bow to the elders and shit so while i was bowing to her i then realized shes fukin straight up americanized without no accent and shit and shes looking at me with a weird ass look in her face. so i just go the next room without making eye contact. i just sat in the couch thinkin wtf i just did and how fukin awkard it would be when i see her later. smh

www.ronindivision.com

September 6, 2009 @ 11:22 PM
&y

Post: 4014

Join Date: Mar 2009

^ lulz that's not that bad. it still shows respect
September 6, 2009 @ 11:29 PM
young idiot

Post: 6150

Join Date: Oct 2008

Location: London

^ Or racial oversensitivity. Awkward either way.
September 6, 2009 @ 11:32 PM
gram cooke

Post: 221

Join Date: May 2009

Location: Atlanta

I know this girl who has herpes and she doesn't know that I know she has herpes. So we're at the pool at her boyfriend's place and there's a bunch of us hanging out late night. They all start talking about the Chappelle's show episode with Knee High Park. So they start impersonating some of the different venereal diseased puppets (the crabs, etc.). So I just break out the "Hey gang don't hurt me it's little ole me herpes. I'm better than your best friend. I'll stay with you till the end. See you in hell motherfucker!" And everyone laughed except for her and her boyfriend. I was like holy shit and tried to play it off.

Speak softly & carry a big pistol.

September 6, 2009 @ 11:48 PM
C.Dante

Post: 4366

Join Date: Nov 2008

Location: NNNNJJJJJ

^ thats the skit wit q-tip right?


HAHAHA

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