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July 12, 2009 @ 03:17 AM
JLASA

Post: 1031

Join Date: Oct 2007

this thread is fcking hilarious
July 12, 2009 @ 03:57 AM
yungm

Post: 2093

Join Date: Nov 2008

Location: Bay Area

:d
July 12, 2009 @ 01:09 PM
Larry Sellers

Post: 16

Join Date: Nov 2008

Location: 919/850

I was taking a dump a couple weeks ago before class when someone walks in and sits in the stall next to me. He then proceeds to take a nasty-ass shit while breathing as heavily as possible, sounded like he was running a marathon. Think Darth Vader breathing. I wait until I think he's left to avoid that awkward eye contact of simultaneous shitters and when I get out of the stall I realize that someone had walked in instead of him leaving. I then wash my hands next to this grungy homeless guy that had taken the deuce next to me, three backpacks, jacket and all. I hope that he's just a goofy prof.... until I see him walk straight out of the bathroom back onto the street and grab his rusty old bike. I haven't used that bathroom to shit since after I found out homeless guys shit there.
July 12, 2009 @ 01:48 PM
damnwitless2

suspended

Post: 7236

Join Date: Sep 2008

Location: Bucktown, USA

every time I every try to holla at a girl while I'm high

Me - "yo"
Girl - "Hey Zayd!"
Me - "...heyyy...what's up?"
Girl - "um...are you like high right now?"
Me - "umm...yeah"

this is usually followed by the girl just standing in front of me and my twisted ass trying to think of something un-high to do, which I can never think of, so I usually just like chuckle or come up with some random topic of conversation ("man, I'm hungry") which never makes me seem like any less of a pothead, so after a few minutes of that they usually just leave.

All I do is smoke weed, blow lines, and listen to MF DOOM. And rap. http://www.facebook.com/SpacemanNYC

July 12, 2009 @ 01:52 PM
vDSN

Post: 206

Join Date: Jun 2009

Been through a ton, but the funniest was when I was first dating my girlfriend and it was one of the first times I was going to her house and I had to shit mad hard.
You know those shits that you run to the bathroom and don't even bother to pay attention to anything, you're mind is just set on getting to that toilet?
When she wasn't looking, I ran to the bathroom, opened the door and got halfway in and realized her dad is sitting there taking a shit and reading the newspaper, just staring at me in shock.


ah sht, i lol'd
July 12, 2009 @ 10:42 PM
tallymebanana

Post: 253

Join Date: Feb 2009

Location: The CHI

over recent months ive managed to turn myself into the "awkward kid", im not sure if its due to my marijuana use, or what. but anyway, anytime im around a girl now i get mad embarrassed and uncomfortable, for no fuckin reason. for example one time we had all smoked and i was tellin a story, all of a sudden i just stop in the middle, and the story has no punch line or ending lol and the whole room falls dead silent for about a solid minute. i start blushing and my friend saves face by changing the subject. razz
July 12, 2009 @ 10:46 PM
2frashbacca

Post: 1011

Join Date: Jun 2009

i have a friend exactly like that, sucks for you lololol
July 12, 2009 @ 11:02 PM
ethank11

Post: 152

Join Date: Dec 2008

Location: California

asking my little brother if he wanted to smoke a bowl was pretty awkward.
July 12, 2009 @ 11:02 PM
prolifick21

Post: 549

Join Date: Nov 2007

Location: N Y C // WORLD

Been through a ton, but the funniest was when I was first dating my girlfriend and it was one of the first times I was going to her house and I had to shit mad hard.
You know those shits that you run to the bathroom and don't even bother to pay attention to anything, you're mind is just set on getting to that toilet?
When she wasn't looking, I ran to the bathroom, opened the door and got halfway in and realized her dad is sitting there taking a shit and reading the newspaper, just staring at me in shock.



this one and the italian hooker hotel story the best. major lollzz
July 12, 2009 @ 11:18 PM
filth

Post: 3394

Join Date: Feb 2009

Location: Vancouver

lol i <3 this thread
July 12, 2009 @ 11:22 PM
filth

Post: 3394

Join Date: Feb 2009

Location: Vancouver

i was high and went into a BK and ask for a bigmac.

farting during silent reading in 8th grade. lol i found it funny though i even turned around and said sorry to the person behind me.

i was having a serious debate in socials class and had one of those auto burps come out when i was was about to debate. you know, the ones that are really loud and fast and have no warning and just rush out as soon as you open your mouth? yeah. and apparently it smelled like a mc chicken

stayed over at my buddies place. walked into the computer room to catch his pops watching porn. he didnt notice us and we back off fast and quiet.

latest one. some old dude taking a piss at the bushes while calling out to me and my girl and staring at us and laughing


LOL @ saying sorry
July 12, 2009 @ 11:54 PM
vDSN

Post: 206

Join Date: Jun 2009

Once i was in grade 2, and we were reading a book as a class together, the teacher was calling on people to read and i was just sitting on the floor picking my nose as i zoned out, the teacher called my name a couple of times and everyone stared at me, i didn't notice them staring at me as i was picking my nose and zoned out =.=
July 12, 2009 @ 11:56 PM

Inactive

Once i was in grade 2, and we were reading a book as a class together, the teacher was calling on people to read and i was just sitting on the floor picking my nose as i zoned out, the teacher called my name a couple of times and everyone stared at me, i didn't notice them staring at me as i was picking my nose and zoned out =.=


thats an FML.
lol.
today i watched a vagina cleaning info-mercial with my mom. . .shit was AWKWARD
July 23, 2009 @ 03:28 AM
revlv

Post: 21

Join Date: Jul 2009

wow
September 5, 2009 @ 01:53 AM
yungm

Post: 2093

Join Date: Nov 2008

Location: Bay Area

bump for the lulz
September 5, 2009 @ 03:11 AM
its_BJ

Post: 1540

Join Date: Oct 2008

Location: Philly

One time I was at the bus stop, it was alot of snow on the ground. Then this guy in front of me pulled down his pants and started to a shit in the snow. His ass was facing me, then he pulled up his pants and continued to wait for the bus. The shit was just sitting there in the snow smoking!
September 5, 2009 @ 03:14 AM
C.Dante

Post: 4366

Join Date: Nov 2008

Location: NNNNJJJJJ

one time i got butt raped by my best friend.....that's awkward...right?
September 5, 2009 @ 03:17 AM
havok...

Post: 1468

Join Date: Apr 2007

Location: Pittsburg, CA

running to the bus cuz i thought it was gonna leave without me...so im runnin and waving it down to make sure it doesnt leave...i can see people lookin at me through the window...and then i get in all outta breath and sweatin...come to find out the bus is gonna stay there for the next 10 minutes...everyone stares at me as i find a seat all the way in the back.
September 5, 2009 @ 03:22 AM
2frashbacca

Post: 1011

Join Date: Jun 2009

Been in tons of awk situations but cant remember any right now. F
September 5, 2009 @ 04:19 AM
Jphn-John

Post: 467

Join Date: Mar 2009

Location: California

alright.

mine was when i had to use the bathroom really badly in the middle of nowhere.

it was dimly lit, small and dirty.

there were no toilet seat covers to put on the seat so i had to make one out of paper towels.
also, there was no latch on the door to keep it closed, and there was dried brown-looking stuff on it. so i had to balance my leg holding it closed with a piece of paper towel so no one would walk in seeing me on the sh88er.
the water was murky, and when i dropped the load, and it splashed.
September 5, 2009 @ 04:30 AM
young idiot

Post: 6150

Join Date: Oct 2008

Location: London

alright.

mine was when i had to use the bathroom really badly in the middle of nowhere.

it was dimly lit, small and dirty.

there were no toilet seat covers to put on the seat so i had to make one out of paper towels.
also, there was no latch on the door to keep it closed, and there was dried brown-looking stuff on it. so i had to balance my leg holding it closed with a piece of paper towel so no one would walk in seeing me on the sh88er.
the water was murky, and when i dropped the load, and it splashed.


This didn't raise any alarms? That's when you know you really need the toilet, when you're in some Obi Wan Brown situation.

Anyway, this reminds me of a toilet moment.

I was like 14, and they had just finished building the new public toilets in Lewisham Centre (London people will be familiar), and I had to go twosies, and the toilets were new, so I thought why not.

It was after dark, on a school night I think, and a friend of mine was waiting outside. He must've thought I only had to go for a piss, because he came in after a few minutes, and started heckling me from the sink. So I'm finishing up, and I hear this sort of rhythmic clicking.

It's like a fleshy sound, if there's such a thing. Like a person could make it using their own body. Then I concentrate, and I notice it's coming from the cubicle next to me, and there's someone in there. I look down, at the floor in the next cubicle, and I see an explicit magazine.

Then I go home to mourn my already somewhat tarnished innocence. I mean, a magazine? In a public toilet? It was like a sitcom situation.
September 5, 2009 @ 10:19 AM
YUP123

Post: 410

Join Date: Aug 2007

Nuff poop stories in here lol

Arite so when I'm with my girl I make it my business not to fart around her...for obvious reasons. AS SOON as I drop her off at her place though the ride home is just a stink fest. Anyways, had been eatin mad gassy foods all day n was keepin my cheeks clenched tighter than inmate in the middle of the night the whole day, so time comes to drop her off n she wants some dick. I've done this before where I had to pup real bad but could manage to hold it. Anyways we commence the penetration n she wants me to nut in her mouth, so she comes up, does her duty, and the release was just too much for me blasted the nastyness right in her face as I'm jizzin in her mouth... I swear it is in my top 10 of grimiest farts too... neither of us said anything n I jus took her home.
September 5, 2009 @ 10:31 AM
emirpbus

Post: 299

Join Date: Aug 2009

in college i lived in an apt with 2 other roomates, i was in my room, but i was about to blast a shit

so i couldn't make it to the bathroom even though it was like 5 feet away cause i was about to explode

but i had a small bucket, so i shit in that , shit looked like a mud slide

i opened the window to my room

and then covered the bucket wif a towl, and quickly took it to the bathroom(hiding it away from everybody to seee)

and then i had to dump the shit from the bucket into the toilet

and then i had to wash the bucket, man fuck my life at that time
September 5, 2009 @ 10:35 AM
kidkorea

Post: 2697

Join Date: Jul 2007

Location: Seoul, South Korea

Its always awkward when I'm fucking a girl doggystyle and her pussy farts, I guess too much air gets in there, happens every now and then.


It's actually the other way around, the air is being forced out of her pussy.

ii-se.co Instagram: @iiseSEOUL Search "iise" on Facebook and like the page to support!

September 5, 2009 @ 10:36 AM
B.M.

Post: 792

Join Date: Aug 2009

Location: Filadelfia

My pop-pop bought a ring for my grand-mom for their anniversary, I thought the ring was already distributed so I asked my grand-mom, "Let me see the ring pop-pop gave you."....She didn't have the ring yet. I didn't talk to my pop-pop for like 2 years after that.

I once told a kid he wouldn't get into this one catholic school because they only give scholarships to black people. My bud from Africa was sitting right behind me.

My friend LaQuan always does this gay shit like in a McDonald's he will scream "******" and point to me. I'm white he's black.

I was once lab partners with this faggy kid and when I was talking to my friend about it I referred to him as "A fucking fag"...He was right behind me.

"I got smokers hitting rocks making Stevie J faces" - Quilly

September 5, 2009 @ 01:09 PM
C.Dante

Post: 4366

Join Date: Nov 2008

Location: NNNNJJJJJ

Damn
September 5, 2009 @ 09:27 PM
ᴊᴜᴀɴ

Post: 6244

Join Date: Jun 2007

Location: Lurking

laughing real hard then taking a huge fart while laughing and laughing louder so no one hears me. thats always awkward
September 5, 2009 @ 10:16 PM
yungm

Post: 2093

Join Date: Nov 2008

Location: Bay Area

My pop-pop bought a ring for my grand-mom for their anniversary, I thought the ring was already distributed so I asked my grand-mom, "Let me see the ring pop-pop gave you."....She didn't have the ring yet. I didn't talk to my pop-pop for like 2 years after that.

I once told a kid he wouldn't get into this one catholic school because they only give scholarships to black people. My bud from Africa was sitting right behind me.

My friend LaQuan always does this gay shit like in a McDonald's he will scream "******" and point to me. I'm white he's black.

I was once lab partners with this faggy kid and when I was talking to my friend about it I referred to him as "A fucking fag"...He was right behind me.


pop pop
September 5, 2009 @ 10:59 PM
heeennry

Post: 2091

Join Date: Jun 2009

Location: LA

omg so many lulz...

Anyways I remember going to Mexico with my parents a long time ago. It was a road trip and it usually took about 28 hrs to get there.

So we make this pit stop in the middle of nowhere and I go to the bathroom cuz I gotta drop a nuke! The toilets were disgusting. I didn't even bother with the seat covers as I was about to shit myself. I dropped my pants without even unbuckling them. Kinda like when your getting chased by a dog and you run inhumanly fast! Yeah it was something like that.

So I pop a squat over the seat and I EXPLODE! I mean literally EXPLODE! I looked back and there was a shit outline of the toilet lever you use to flush on the wall. It looked like one of those homicide outlines in chalk, but in shit. I wiped my ass and washed my hands and as I'm walking out the bathroom the janitor is walking in not knowing what the fuck she was about to witness.

It wasn't so much awkward as it was disgusting. I feel bad for her now sad

I had taken the words out of his mouth and filled it with fart.

September 5, 2009 @ 11:04 PM
Po~It

Post: 351

Join Date: Apr 2009

Location: Nj

i waz on the phone with my friend and then my mom called
so i picked up nd somehow we got into an arguement
so i switch back over, but i actually put it on 3 way nd i said
"yo man i fuckin hate my mom, i can't stand that bitch, she gets on my fuckin nerves i swear"
i made her crysad

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