Been lurking for a while, thought that I should contribute.
This one time, my entire middle school went to Yosemite for our annual 8th grade field trip. The eggs they served for breakfast must've been bad, because during our scenic hike later that day, I had the worst food poisoning ever. I felt my stomach turn upside down in the middle of the hike, so I ask our group leader if we can take a short break. After the leader agreed, I ran about 100 strides up a big ass hill, and proceeded to excrete all of my bodily fluids. I had to constantly turn back and forth to switch orifices, and soon enough there was this huge hole in the snow just filled with my shit and yak.
After I'm finished draining out the rest of my colon, I realized that I didn't have toilet paper and that I left my tissues in the cabin before we set off. Out of options at this point, I started scooping huge chunks of snow and sliding them between my ass cheeks to get rid of all the excess shit.
Now, feeling much better, even with my ass cheeks frostbitten as fuck, I started on my way back to the group. In the middle of the walk back, I see my group leader. I was about to greet her, but before I can say a word, she pulls down her pants and I see this fat piece of shit slide right out of her ass.
The rest of that trip with her was the awkwardest shit I've been through. Before that point I thought girls pissed rainbows and shat out unicorns.
Shit, reminds me of when in 6th grade we went to a camping trip called sky ranch, while i was over there i had to take a huge shit, so i went to the bathroom, well there was no toilet paper but i thought, i didnt even take that big of a dump. Well later on in the day, everyone starts looking around like ughh what smells like shit, i was like uh oh. luckily i could blame the smell on horses because people were riding em all in this field in the area, but first thing i did was run inside and threw my underwear in the trash.