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April 26, 2011 @ 01:59 AM
blandface

Post: 177

Join Date: Sep 2009

been writing rap and some spoken word poetry for years, but never got the chance to really record anything. i'm not quite good at making songs yet or writing hooks or any of that business, but i feel i'll improve quickly. any comments or criticism would be greatly appreciated. thanks.


[youtube]UUttcpFYyic[/youtube]
April 26, 2011 @ 02:17 AM
Wash Pahpin

Post: 502

Join Date: Nov 2006

Location: NYC/Philly

content is great but like you said writing songs is a whole other world just keep at it you got the words there already

washpahpin.com

April 26, 2011 @ 03:32 AM
Juelz

Post: 177

Join Date: Sep 2009

sorry man but this beat is terrible for rapping?
April 26, 2011 @ 04:01 AM
SumLite

Post: 118

Join Date: May 2007

oh gosh... flow and delivery is horrible, slow down a bit, or at least gather yourself, cause oh man...
i', sure your lyrics are great, but i can't get past how it sounds... which isn't that great
most people don't even pay attention to the lyrics if they can't bear to hear it.
April 26, 2011 @ 05:28 AM

Inactive

Yo in an unorthadox way that actually flows with the track. Like Wiz or Lil B. Only thing that was off were those akward pauses for the hook-- which were a humorous turn considering the mood of the song. Overall it's decent.
April 26, 2011 @ 11:53 AM
HYPELO

Post: 486

Join Date: Feb 2010

rap is poetry AND rhythm
April 26, 2011 @ 12:30 PM
JLK

Post: 1161

Join Date: Apr 2010

rap is poetry AND rhythm

i'll add more on this.

flow mostly involves timing, delivery, and emotion. you sound pretty confident so you got a little bit of mic presence. you got some emotion in it too so it doesn't sound like you're just reading like most people do when they first start. the most obvious flaw is your timing, which imo is the easiest thing to learn.

mars (StephanTitanic on hb) introduced me to vocal inflections. do some research on it because it helps in developing your soundscape.
April 26, 2011 @ 02:57 PM
blandface

Post: 177

Join Date: Sep 2009

thanks for the feedback guys. yea i feel you on the beat Juelz i'm mostly on some bitch rap atmosphere type shit, i'm sure i'll find my niche with time.

roman thanks for the criticism bro. i'm pretty well studied on rapping tbh, i'm just a bit clueless on how to make it work when it comes down to actually recording it. probably doesnt help that i'm recording at a place that doesnt even have headphones that have playback.
April 26, 2011 @ 03:02 PM
@abgohard1

Post: 1710

Join Date: Jan 2011

Location: JERSEY HOE

this is dope, keep at it kid
April 26, 2011 @ 07:01 PM
motherland

Post: 1697

Join Date: Dec 2008

Location: detroit

the flow is actually pretty alrightmost guys cant come up with a unique flow.

the beat you chose is weak.


but your lyrics are pretty ok
April 27, 2011 @ 01:15 PM
blandface

Post: 177

Join Date: Sep 2009

thanks man.
April 27, 2011 @ 03:58 PM
motherland

Post: 1697

Join Date: Dec 2008

Location: detroit

theres a place for everthing in hip hop really



keep goin ham sammich
April 27, 2011 @ 11:40 PM
Toriko

Post: 514

Join Date: Feb 2010

Location: Cali

prettygood. but i think the intro was kinda weird b/c you rapped way too fast which clashed with the slow beat of the bg song. But after the first like 30 seconds your beats somewhat assimilated to the bg musics beat.
April 28, 2011 @ 12:32 AM
sharky

Post: 1228

Join Date: Feb 2010

Location: gta

i see what you're trying to do bringing the spoken word style into your rapping but the aggressiveness didn't really fit with the beat.

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