You will buy APC's due to being drawn to their aesthetic beauty, quality and fine cut. You will heed the beautiful young assistant's advice in sizing down by 1-2 waist sizes so you are only able to fasten the top button by breathing in slightly. You will deem this unwise based upon previous purchases but will buy them anyway due to the advice they will stretch out up to 1.5 inches or so and also the fact you are hopelessly attracted to the assistant. You will try your jeans on at home and feel uncomfortable. You will find even sitting down is a struggle. You will have second thoughts about your purchase and consider returning the APC's to the store. You will not do this as you would feel foolish in front of the sales assistant. You will consider putting them on eBay
but you cannot be bothered. You will not wear them for while and will go back to your previous battered jeans which are comfortable and safe. You will return to your APC's some time later and wear them all of the time, day and night. You will ignore the initial discomfort for the days and weeks it persists. After some time your APC's will stretch to the shape of your body. You will find you can feel your penis and testicles again. You find the waist will give a lot, the thighs will give less, the calfs will barely give at all. You will admire the fades around the back pocket where your wallet is kept, the front where you keep your phone, the creases around the thighs, the whiskers around the back of the knees and so on. You will live happily with the comforting thought that you now have the most comfortable pair of jeans you ever owned which feel like they were made just for you.
God bless you.