why are you using a 460II on camera? you know that's a manual flash right? what you were looking for would probably be a YN-468 (not sure if they make that for sony mount), but a 467 would work well too.
personally, I don't think so. Unless you care for a swivel screen which imho could come in handy in some situations.
If not, just get the t2i. I'd highly recommend going for a 60D if you got a little bit of extra cash.
Unless you can get a t2i/t3i for a steal deal.
As for the kit lens, depends. That lens isn't the best but it's great for people first starting out.
If you already own quality glass I don't see the point of getting it though.
the 60D is kinda overrated to me (especially upgrading from a 50D) since there's no micro-adjustment, and the body isn't made of magnesium alloy like the 50D, 40D, etc. i'd rather invest in a T3i, and save the rest towards some glass.
but i agree with you on the kit lens statement.