TRAVEL: GOT MAD JOKES. (MELBOURNE #3)
May 4, 2011

Melbourne, Australia.

OK, so I'm struggling with original content (damn you, OG Bobby.) Not in a bad way, mind you, but because there's just so much coverage out there of the Carbon event and Melbourne trip already that I feel like I'd just be repeating things on here. I had a rather long post planned on the outline of the forums and discussions, but to save both you and me some time, here are some bullet points of thoughts.

FORUM #1 - BEYOND THE BRAND

(Image credit: Michael Danischewski)

- Bobby spoke on the four pillars of branding, showing there is some structure behind the maniacally explosive growth of his brand. He also said something about the Adam Bomb always about to explode, but never exploding as a metaphor for his brand mantra. Personally, I think it was just a metaphor to tell chicks that he’s great in the sack, but who knows.

- Matt Thomas owns runs Perth.

- Matt Noffs says f*ck you, all you branding people suck.

- The Asuza guys like to hang out in cemeteries in their free time, and are Australia’s answer to Flight Of The Conchords. If they had brought out a guitar mid-speech I would not have been surprised.

FORUM #2 - BUILDING A T-SHIRT LABEL

(Image credit: Michael Danischewski)

- Greg Rivera is awesome and likes Bounty Hunter, and writes the best blog in the world because he says so. And he can’t find his distributor?

- Carri (Cassette Playa) thinks the internet is extremely awesome, and loves augmented reality. Judging by the comments over the weekend, so do we. Perhaps she was a virtual reality inter-galactic hologram too. That would have been cool.

- Jimmy Bliggs (Grand Scheme) gave a very informative run-down as to how clothing goes from drawing to shelf. The 123’s. I realized that many people didn’t even know how to do this. Jimmy wins the “most people taking notes” award.

- Tristan (Serps, Ksubi) is the man, and you can’t have any of his designs.

FORUM #3 - CRAFTSMANSHIP & IMAGINATION.

- Futura is just Leonard McGurr in disguise, and Leonard is a very cool guy. If you missed his presentation, as his finale he battled a 7ft tall Pointman with light sabers, before exiting the stage on his Tron lightbike. True story bro. You missed out.

- Anthony Lister’s work is absolutely, mindnumbingly incredible. He also likes to kidnap people and paint them, especially if they’ve taken his keys, wallet, and phone. Look him up. If you don’t, he’ll kidnap you.

- Brett Chan of NZ skateboarding lore and legend wins the best dressed award, hands down.

- Beci Orpin is so sweet that I wonder how anybody can say no to her. Raph?

FORUM #4 - THE ART OF HYPE (DIGITAL COMMUNICATION)

- Noah just wanted to stunt. And said something about some magazine called Complex, and how to build one of the top 100 websites of the internet (list coming soon). The comments box I set up at the door was strangely empty after.

- Then it was my turn. I spoke about why you should hire me as a marketing consultant. No, just kidding. Well, not really. But I spoke on a theory I've been working on; psychographics vs demographics, and according to some dude from Perth at the afterparty, the statistics were ‘so farrking booring moiyt.’ Damn, fail.

- Chooee brought a spotlight on S E Asia, and evidently they love wearing Fred Perry shirts there. A great insight into an unknown world that few of us knew existed. It was like a trip to Jurassic Park, but without the dinosaurs... unless you count Julian when he's out on the gas.

- Alex thinks porn is quite cool, and just plain rules.

Otherwise, you can check out (real) coverage of the forums here & Here.
Or here
Or Here.
Or Here.

Or, for the real run-down, Here, on invurt. Fletch came up to me after the presentation to tell me he live-blogged all the forums…. (Sure, no big deal).. on an iPhone. (say what?) Wow. Honestly? I may have played it cool at first but my brain was spinning out of control when he told me. Great work mate.

So I'll just get back into the other Melbourne adventures over the weekend.

Up There Store. Last year, at the Buffet event where I spoke on retail, I met these two guys in the outdoor area who enthusiastically came up to me telling me plans of their new store and to thank me on some sound advice. At the time, I had no idea just how serious they were about it; I honestly thought they were two guys who may have read a copy of Inventory or honeyee too many times, but lo and behold to my rather humble surprise, they did exactly what they promised to do. Located above a Haunted bookstore (no, really) on Melbourne’s oldest developed streets, they stock a rather enviable list of brands – Norse, Tanner Goods, Bedwin, Deluxe, Tailfeather, Yuketen, New Balance, and more. A true representation of the modern day menswear store, and with all style points checked. I don’t see stores of this presentation and caliber very often, and this is a must stop visit if you’re in Melbourne… otherwise, shop online with them. Please support their dream if you can, as independent retail is no small feat out there, and it's people like Jason, Brendon and James that keep this flame alive.

UP THERE STORE
Level 1, 15 McKillop Street,
Melbourne VIC 3000
PH: +61 03 9670 6225
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Couldn't resist when I was in store. Thanks a ton fellahs, I've been wanting these for a while now. Came in very useful on that torrential downpour that night.

Halfway through the weekend it was the monthly Favela Rock party at Miss Libertine. Unfortunately for me, everybody bailed quite quickly, and I was the last one left from the motley crew holding the reputation of the internationals. But fortunately for me, the party TOTALLY KICKED ASS after you guys left. Honestly. It kicked so much ass that I almost lost my camera, which is why I only took one photo. Yup. Mind you, they weren’t wrong about M.A.F.I.A. being the queen of Melbourne though. I saw people actually lose their mind and scream hysterically when she went up to the 1’s and 2’s. And I thought Steve was loose.

As I'm sure you've seen on countless other places, the event rounded up with the live art demonstration, featuring Lenny & Co, presented by local paint brand IRONLAK.

Jasper Wong + Brett Chan.

And our incredibly talented friend Tanja Jade (ex-MISERY), of Auckland, New Zealand who recently relocated to Melbourne. So good to see you again Tans!

Pro-as.

So later that night, the group was separated in two, and whilst we were in the middle of another side-splitting episode of #shitlennysays, I receive a text from Tiffany.

"guess who we're having dinner with?"
"Osama Bin Laden?"
"nope..."

Honestly? Could this weekend have gotten any weirder?

Until next time Melbourne. Thanks. Wake up Jasper.
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(click here for bonus secret image)