LIFE OF BRIAN.
December 19, 2009

Meet Brian. Come to think about it, I don't actually know his last name - much like everybody else. We just call him Brian. I thought I'd dedicate this blog post as a tribute to this man, one of the most unique personalities running around the Auckland cycling community. Now you see, Brian isn't quite... "all there", if you understand what I mean. I'm not entirely sure what happened to make him the way that he is, but you know, I don't really care. It's made him who he is today, and he damn well knows how to live his life. He'll knock back a beer (or twenty) before lunchtime, and smoke the occassional joint (or twenty) before lunchtime, he'll talk to you about how many hot dates (or twenty) he's got lined up for the weekend, and throw in a couple of other stories (or twenty) along the way. This man is hours of pure entertainment... although you might need those twenty beers before you get the groove going.

You can tell Brian from a mile away - here are some identifying features.

That said, he's also one of the most talented bike mechanics I've ever met. Without exaggeration, Brian can spot a loose chainring bolt from a km away, and can tell if a chainline is 0.5mm out just by looking at it with his well tuned eye-chronometer. He puts bikes together like he's putting together Tony Stark's suit. He pops into the stores regularly to say hello and perform a quick bike check-up/tune-up of our bicyclettes, but most of the time he just ends up coming in to show off new gadgets and parts on his bike. Like that one time when he got blue anodized derailleur parts. Or that one time when he got gold brake levers. Or that other time when he found some aviation grade tape that-costs-like-500-bucks-a-meter-maaann. Or that other time... never mind.

Brian once told me the three main passions of his life as bicycles, "hi-tech stuff like computers and soundsystems", and... laserdiscs.

Bicycles like this faithful rusty old Mk2 Raleigh Chopper. Never to be outdone (or limited to the fact that it was meant to be a child's novelty bike), Brian once rode this incredible machine from Rotorua to Tauranga to Auckland, about a 300km one way trip (~185miles), presumably whilst on a bender of sorts. I'm not entirely sure what the full story is though - Brian also has this habit of starting a story mid-way, presuming that you would already know the first half without him actually telling you in the first place. Some find it annoying - personally I like to think of it as a mental challenge, like those stupid Mensa tests I used to do when I was 10. Challenge!

Peep the t-bar shifter. Bad ass. 88mph suckas!

By the way, you too can develop your very own Brian-experience by finding him at T White's Bikes. Where you might find him doing this:

"There's nothing like the smell of burnt rubber." - Brian.
(Image courtesy of Baxter)

No, there isn't. Choice one Brian. You're fuckin' awesome.