Yeah! Social Media rules! I'm on it, you're on it, hell, most people's pets are on it too. After you've been on it for a while though, you tend to notice some disturbing trends. I'm not talking about the people who thrash #every #goddamn #hashtag to fish for followers - but trends amongst the kinds of people who use them. It's always interesting to see what value others seem to hold in social media - whether it's for self gratification, promotion, discussion, or airing vapid statements about their hair/lunch/clothes/friends/work/life. So, add one boring night-in and a desire to write something stupid for a change, here's my 2 minute social media user guide. Not a guide on how to use any of it; but a guide on the personalities who use it based on gross over-generalizations of the number of their followers on four of the most popular platforms out there at the moment - twitter, facebook, instagram, and tumblr. Maybe you even know a few of them yourself.
Which one are you?
The Hot Girl.
You're the hot girl. Your iPhone camera spends more time in face mode than it does pointing the way it should… you know, at like, things that aren't you (mirrors excluded). You still have a twitter account because that's what everyone was on last year, but you still don't "get how it works." You gave up on tumblr in favour of instagram because, like, it's totally, like, easy to get more followers on instagram lollzz <3
Here's a free tip - they're not appreciating you for your photography composition skills.
The Purist.
You self-righteous prick. You only believe in text-based social media networks and speak fondly of the mIRC Undernet days whilst cracking reddit jokes. And how you used to totally pick up chicks on ICQ through the random ICQme chat function. Truth is, nobody gives a shit that you never got laid in high school. You probably write a blog using big words too, you jerk.
The Celebrity.
Dude. Come on. Nobody really gives a shit about what you're doing or what you had for lunch. They're all just waiting for that one moment where you fuck it all up, so they can slam that RT/ReBlog/Share button like a schoolboy on heat. Sorry.
"I'm huge on tumblr".
Yeah, you work a dead end job but you're big on tumblr, but you forget that your 'fame' is purely based on you liking other (people's) things. When the dust settles and people finally realize that tumblr is all make-believe, you'll probably be the one standing there naked. You upload your pictures onto instagram without a caption because you think that's how it works. That's not how it works, dumbass.
The Social Media Consultant
Congratulations. You've found a way to con companies out of their hard earned marketing dollars for lessons in common sense. Trouble is, you also find the incessant need to be 'down' with every new social media platform. Well, that's not the trouble per se, it's more like you suck at instagramming beceause you're too busy drawing diagrams about it instead of using it to, you know, take photos and shit.
The Networker
Holy crapskis do you rape your facebook wall. And you talk way too much on twitter. There is no distinction between your personal life and your work and you act like you care, but really, you don't. People followed you out of curiousity but are now fast tiring of your 24/7 brain diarrhea and 'I swear this isn't a promo, but I love product X' updates/tweets. Dude. We're not blind. You tried starting a tumblr and instagram, but quickly gave that shit up when you realized you couldn't transfer all your friends across so you could look like you were immediately popular.
OFWGKTA fans will no doubt be aware of the controversy that surrounded the announcement of their upcoming first appearance in New Zealand. After being booted rather abruptly from the (now evidently final) BDO12 Auckland line-up, they've been relegated to play a side show instead at Auckland's Powerstation venue on Thursday 19/01/12.
To commemorate this momentous achievement, we had Tyler the Creator design a special limited run print tee; exclusively for Qubic Store and their New Zealand gig to express the general feeling over the debacle.
Releasing on Wednesday 18th January 2012 at Qubic Store in limited quantities. Please stay updated on Qubic Store's facebook or twitter for up to the minute details on release time.
Available exclusively from:
Qubic Store (160 Broadway, Newmarket, Auckland) Qubic Online - shipping available worldwide, free shipping nationwide.
OFWGKTA merchandising stand at Powerstation, Mt Eden, Thursday 19/01/12.
OFWGKTA pop-up shop (Fairfax, LA)
If you follow me on any of the other social media platforms, you'll notice that over the past few days I've been posting up random conversation snippets between myself and my father - the venerable Dr. Eric Liew MD. What started off as a simple fb update about him commenting on my exercise regime turned into a game of recording the odd quips he said to me over a short two day trip in Singapore for a rare Liew family gathering. For one reason or another his gems of wisdom seem to be quite popular, so I feel like I need to give a little background information on my father and I to give the whole thing a little more context.
My parents separated when I was quite young, and my mother, brother, and I moved to Singapore from Taipei, Taiwan. I'd see my father every few months as he visited to stay in touch with his boys, and if you know me personally, my father is a bit of a smart-arse (much like me). He's a medical doctor, specializing in the field of anesthesiology… and Pain Management. So along with that territory he's a textbook disciplined/logical/efficient/contrarian/I'm-right-you're-wrong hard-ass (as most doctors are); he's the only child who was sent to college by my grandparents from his family of five (with the exclusion of my youngest uncle, who was awarded a government scholarship in civil engineering); he played with sticks and stones as a kid (or so he says, citing that as a reason why we didn't need a Sega Genesis/NES/Playstation/etc) in Penang growing up; he came from a traditional Chinese family that makes Tiger Moms look like Panda Cubs, and as a child, he'd tell us to behave… or he'd put us to sleep (I had to look up anesthesiology in Encyclopaedia Brittanica to truly appreciate what that meant.. and no, not in a Conrad Murray kind of way). He's not a man of many words so the way I figure it, when he talks; he wants to make it count - I still remember him lecturing us on Swiss efficiency as 10 year olds... and the subsequent punishment I received when I retorted saying we weren't Swiss. When the three of us subsequently moved to New Zealand in the southern hemisphere summer of '94/'95 the visits became more infrequent due to the long commute from Taipei, and a lot of the time we just tried to stay in touch via email or phone calls. Don't get me wrong, he still supported our family and fulfilled all his responsibilities as a father; it was just a little far for him to come often, and I suppose as ratty, spotty-faced awkward teenagers we probably didn't think that it was that important to see him. As you grow up and leave home, naturally, you talk less to your parents as you try and find your own wings. I'm not terribly proud of it, but I did lose contact with him for a number of years during that period. In a way, he missed out on our high-school and college years, as well as the formative years of us leaving school, beginning to find work, and discovering our own paths in life.
Over the past five years as the traveling started, I've had the fortunate chance to see more of my paternal family in Malaysia during stopovers or by just being in the SEA region. With that, I've also been able to see more of my Dad at family gatherings, and it made me quite happy to see that except for the grey hairs, larger spectacles, snake-skin loafers, and what I still suspect is a perm, he's still the same old opinionated joker I remember from my childhood. As most Chinese people will attest to, you'll never be any more than that 10 year old child to your family no matter how old you are, so I think he tries to fit all his lost time in the short 1-3 day slots of seeing me, extolling the three pillars of Chinese parenting wisdom - look after yourself; save money; and don't be an idiot… along with variations of such.
Look up #thingsmyasianfathersaystome on instagram, or I guess you could just find/follow me on @frankliew and click on the images of the notes in my history. With the recent 2 day trip over, I'll be putting more notes up from time to time as I recall them from my childhood.
