A-Alikes
February 3, 2010

The internet is probably the greatest invention of our time. The pinnacle of connectivity and productivity. Information can be found in seconds, millions of people connected and making the world work at an unparalleled pace...plus we can easily look at boobs from the comfort of our own homes. When social media becomes part of your job its hard not to get swept up in the tsunami of useless activity that comes with easy access to technology. This past week there was some sort of challenge on face book where subscribers were to seek our their own lookalike and post pics of the celebrity they most resembled. A perfect chance for us to justify our aesthetic flaws by attributing them to someone in the public eye.

Well in the past ive been mistaken for

Andre 3000

A group of white teen girls requested that i sing "Hey Ya" in the middle of a Best Buy. I wondered where the mistake could even have been made but then i remembered that all of us black people look alike. Needless to say i couldn't make it out of there fast enough leaving behind the shrieking teens belloing to anyone that would listen about how they just met "That guy that sings that song" I woulda told them i was him just so they got the credit right.

Black Thought

I had a waiter comp my meal once, i had no idea why. My dinner companion told me that the waiter had asked her on her way to the restroom if i was "That guy from the Roots". I took it she knew that the quality of our meal hung in the balance because apparently she said yes. Leaving the restaurant he gushed that he loved my music, and i humbly played along hoping he thought i was Black Thought and spending the balance of the day wondering if he actually thought i was the fat one (Questlove)

Wyclef

I was right out of the airport in Japan and the TSA has asked me to take down my hair which i learned seconds later was not a security measure but they just needed something to stare at to break up the monotony of the day. Hopping into a cab to make it to my destination i noticed a group of enthusiastic teens around the car. I hear them tapping on the window and i peer up with my hair still covering my face. As the car got into gear, between unintelligible Japanese, I hear chants of "Rycref, Rycref" needless to say that put me into a spiral of shame and depression that lasted the whole trip.

Coltrane Curtis

I will be mistaken for him every day of my adult life. Even when we're in the same room together. I dont think he and I are allowed to stand next to each other lest we cause some sort of rift in the space/time continuum. He tells me he goes through the same thing but i would think to a lesser extent as I am not even the most famous person in my apartment...and I live alone. I plan to start sticking up bodegas and leaving his business card behind.

Heres who i think i look like:

"Buuuud"

The Half Moon Part is killer

Rowlf

Who ive also been mistaken for by the way