Scared Straight
October 14, 2009

I've never been to jail, its not my thing. Although I used to get shaken down by the cops on a regular basis when I was younger and in a different set of circumstances, my skirmishes with the law have been uneventful at best. Although everyone that i grew up with is befitting the cliche statitstic of "dead or in jail" i managed to escape the long arm of the law with the aid of my lack of social skills and the threat of the combination of my moms belt and a public place.

From any general description of jail i doesn't seem that bad, i always said that if i were homeless that i would just throw a brick through someones window and hit "Club Fed" for some rest and relaxation. Three hots and a cot, some yard time, learn how to fashion a shiv out of a tootbrush, earn a trade, play some ball.

then i saw this

The reason that people want to stay out of the bing. The reason why you can't be tough in the cuffs. It's like watching Steven King's "It" in 3D while sitting in the front row at a clown college.

That dude is real! He exists!

and this dude?

This dude is scary, scarier than walking on on your grandmothers gynological exam
Scarier than having an inner ear infection in an Iraqi minefield
Scarier than having to wave the starter flag at motorcycle rally for riders with downs syndrome.

The truth is always scarier than fiction.

I will never do anything illegal ever again. At least not until I can afford a good lawyer, then im above the law.